Impossible Hope
by Pupskt
Summary: Bella is a foster-child with a dark past. She's been living in foster homes for a decade, and eventually winds up in Forks-the town that's haunted her for ten years. Will she accept her foster family, the Cullens? Will Edward show her hope? CHAPTER 13 UP!
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

_"Your mother left us because of you! You're not good for anything!"_

Life is often described as unfair.

_"It's your fault. You stupid kid!"_

_"Daddy, please! Don't hit me..."_

_"Get over here and get the punishment you deserve!"_

What an understatement.

And just when I thought I'd never have to relive my nightmares, it happened. Something worse than my worst fears occurred, and I was powerless to stop it.

I allowed myself to hope.

And hoping really _wasn't_ in my best interest. Because nothing in my world lasted forever. It had to leave someday. My mother had left, and, after realizing how broken I really was, he would leave, too. _He_ being my miracle, my savior—the cause of the impossible hope.

But how had the hope appeared, suddenly out of nowhere? I didn't know. I had every odd stacked against me...

_"I wish she had taken you with her! You're just a stupid kid! That's probably why she didn't want you. Nobody does!"_

And yet, a decade later, against all odds, I felt hope. I had somehow survived a dark, dreary past, and now I was feeling hope. And not only that, but in another person.

So as unfair as life often is, some of it, surprisingly, is the opposite. _Fair_, being the miracle that I would rather die than be without.

_Unfair_, being the five inch, moon-shaped scar on my forearm.

**A/N: Ok, hopefully that made some sense. If it didn't, well, it will soon, I promise. And this will probably be the most angsty thing I've ever written, but it won't be too bad. I suck at angst, to be quite honest. Also this is my first all human so please please please tell me what you think!!!!**


	2. Memories

**Chapter One**

_**Bella's P.O.V.**_

Forks, Washington.

I never thought I would have to return to this dreary, rainy town. The town that held so many haunting memories of my childhood. It was a place that I had once vowed never to come back to, and yet, here I was.

The airplane was small, warm and comfortable, but I knew the comfort wouldn't last much longer. I would have to get off, to step onto the mossy concrete and humid downpour. I would have to look for my new foster family amongst the crowd of people waiting for their loved ones, greet them with the same greeting I've used for ten years. A dull, "_nice to meet you,_" just as always. They would be thrilled to see me, whatever siblings in the family, if any, would be anxious to meet the stranger who would be staying in their home for six months. Perhaps the family was thinking I would be the one, that maybe I was the ideal daughter that they had always dreamed of. But no, my stay would not be forever. It would a mere six months that would pass by quickly and restlessly, just as ever other six month stay with my past foster families. And when the six months were up, I would go to another family, and then one more, and then I would be eighteen. Then I would finally be free. Free of foster care, free of social workers constantly asking how I was feeling. I could get a job, get my own place, and be free of the temporary families. I needed them about as much as they needed me—and the amount of need wasn't very high.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now arriving in Port Angeles, Washington. Please make sure your seat belts are fastened and your tray table is locked securely to the table in front of you."

Why Forks? Out of every town in the United States, why _Forks_? The one town of my horrifying past. The one town that held memories of my life before foster families. When I had a real family, I had lived here. Of course, I had all of this horrible remembrance stored in my head, but being in Forks would only make it more surreal, I was certain.

We landed on the ground with a jolting thump, and the aircraft gradually slowed to a stop. I unwillingly stood up, yanked my carry-on bag that had nothing but a parka stuffed into it out of the overhead compartment, and followed the plane passengers down the aisle towards the plane's exit as if I were a prisoner on her way to her death sentence. I then carefully proceed down the narrow plane stairs into the rain. I took the steps one at a time. Not that I cared for first-impressions, but I didn't want my new foster family's first sighting of me to be falling down. The steps were fought without peril, and I made my way through the crowd, not quite searching for my new 'family', but not quite trying to avoid them either.

The thing was, I didn't really know what to expect of my next foster family who coincidentally lived in the worst possible town imaginable. I'd only met Carlisle, the father, who had ever so willingly flown down to Phoenix to meet me at the Mensner House. The Mensner House was a place I'd been forced to be familiar with. I stayed there in-between foster homes. In the tiny office in the Mensner House, I met my new foster parent or parents, where each one tried to convince me that being a part of their family would be like a lifelong trip to Disney land. I had no reason to be strongly opposed to spending six months with the Cullens. Just because they lived in Forks wasn't a good enough reason to deny them as foster parents. If I thought Carlisle had been too harsh or strange in any way, I could've marched straight to the social worker and babbled to her professional-looking face my excuse for not wanting to go with them. She would understand; she would have no choice but to. It was my life, no matter how much it sucked. They would simply find me another foster home, one that I approved of.

But I liked Carlisle. He seemed friendly and father-like, and I honestly wouldn't have minded living with his family for six months if it hadn't been for their location. He told me had had five children—all my age, juniors in high school, adopted, obviously. So that told me that other kids like me liked him enough to call him "Dad."

But no one had been through what I had been through. At least, not any of the kids at the Mensner House. Their parents had merely died or abandoned them. Tragic, of course, but at least they seemed more rational. My father never left me, but he constantly took his anger out on me for three years. No one there had to deal with that. No one, of course, but lucky me.

And it had been this very town where my father and I had lived. I was suddenly regretting the fact I hadn't found some fault in Carlisle when I'd met him, so I could have had an excuse not to stay with his family. It didn't matter how nice he was anymore. I did not want to be back here.

But when I saw him, everything became inevitable. I pushed my legs one at a time to walk over towards him and his family through the downpour, putting the most pathetic, half-hearted smile on my face.

"Isabella! It's wonderful to see you again!" Carlisle's familiar voice rang. The rest of his family stood behind him in the rain, seeming not to mind getting wet. They all waited with anxious, smiling faces. I glanced at them for the briefest second, and then back at Carlisle.

"Hi," I muttered once I found my voice.

He came up to me and put his arm around my shoulders. I flinched, but he didn't notice.

"Let me introduce you to the family," Carlisle said, gesturing his hand out to the woman standing closest to him, with caramel colored hair and a warm face. Great.

"This is my wife, Esme. Esme, this is Isabella."

"I'm so glad to finally meet you!" She sang, picking up my limp hand in both of hers and squeezing it.

"It's nice to meet you," I murmured my familiar greeting.

"And these are my children, Jasper," he gestured to the blond boy who had his arm around the shoulders of a small, pixie-like girl with black, spiky hair. She had her hand rested on his upon her left shoulder. A very odd position for siblings, but after all, they weren't exactly related.

"And Alice," Carlisle pointed to the pixie.

And the pixie's reaction shocked me. She untangled herself from Jasper's arm and skipped over to me and wrapped her small, skinny arms around my shoulders.

"We're going to be the best of friends, I just _know _it!" She exclaimed, and then kissed my cheek.

Esme chuckled. "Alice, dear, let's not scare poor Isabella away."

I cringed mentally at her use of my full name. "_Bella_, just Bella," I corrected her.

She took a deep breath, and smiled. "Bella. Don't scare _Bella_ away."

Alice's high-pitched laugh was like bells in my ear. "I won't."

All of a sudden, as if it weren't cloudy already, a big shadow cast over me, and I turned around, startled.

"_She_ won't, but _I _might," A big, booming voice warned. I had to tilt my head up all the way to see his face. He was huge! At least three heads taller than me, and so muscular that I had to resist the urge to take a few steps back from him.

"Emmett," Carlisle chastised.

I heard chuckles behind me.

Emmett ignored his father. "Hey, I'm Emmett." His voice was surprisingly friendly. Then, unexpectedly, he shook his head back and forth, reminding me of a dog shaking the water out of its fur. Droplets of water flung from his hair and onto my face. I knit my eyebrows, confused, and brushed the water away with the back of my hand.

Before anybody could say anything, Emmett hand his hand on my shoulder, as if he was congratulating me.

"And now you are initiated into the Cullen family," he announced with an impish grin on his face.

I chuckled, trying to make it look like I thought it was funny. "Um, thanks."

I turned back around to face the Cullens. Esme had an apologetic smile on her face.

Carlisle raised his eyebrows at his giant son. "Thank you...Emmett." He shook his head and smiled. "Sorry," he said to me. "Emmett _thinks_ he's funny sometimes."

I shrugged, forcing myself to keep the lame half-smile on my face.

"And this is Rosalie," Carlisle continued, gesturing suddenly to a breathtakingly beautiful blond, who stood with a small smile on her perfect face. Her beauty was the type that caused every female who saw her to second guess their own beauty, not to mention their self-esteem.

Carlisle paused briefly, and then continued.

"And this," he gestured to his last son, "is Edward."

I turned to face him, and I was speechless for a moment. His unruly, reddish-brown hair was slightly darkened by the rain water, and his piercing green eyes were the brightest I'd ever seen. I caught my breath after a second or two.

"Bella," he said my name effortlessly, naturally. "I'm very glad to meet you," he said, extending his arm to shake my hand.

I raised my arm and returned the gesture, not really noticing. I was too distracting by the two emeralds boring into my own eyes.

I shook his hand for a few moments, not really realizing what I was doing.

A small smile broke out on his face. He looked our connected hands, and dropped his own.

I blushed.

"Why don't we get out of this rain?" Carlisle suggested, breaking the awkward moment.

The family all nodded in agreement, and I followed next to Esme, my eyes still partially blinded from Edward's stare.

After we got my luggage from the baggage claim, Esme put her arm around my shoulders and we all went back outside into the rainy parking lot.

It took two cars to get the lot of us back to the Cullen's house. It was obvious they had money, and a lot of it. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Jasper and I slid into a shiny, black Mercedes, and Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward got into a sleek Volvo.

It was a one hour drive from the Port Angeles air port to Forks, and so I glumly looked out the window, and answered questions upon questions; questions I'd been asked by my previous foster parents.

"Are you excited to start school?" Esme had asked.

"Yes."

"Do you think you'll do any clubs?" Jasper inquired.

"No."

"What's your favorite subject?" Alice had wondered in a bubbly voice.

"I don't know."

They didn't care. I knew they didn't. This was simply part of the ordeal. This wasn't the first time my set of foster parents glanced at each other worryingly, or my foster siblings gave me sideways glances when I responded dully, one-worded. They would ignore it at first, and some enthusiastic families would try to pull me out of my dullness. But after six months, there would be no point. They wouldn't have gotten through to me and they would ship me right back of to the Mensner House. I didn't mind. Actually, I couldn't be more excited to leave this family; Forks in particular. This was only day one—only one hundred seventy nine more days to go.

I almost gasped when I read the 'Forks Welcomes You!' sign as we passed it. Jasper noticed when my body suddenly tensed, for he was sitting next to me, but he didn't say anything.

The memories came flooding back to me now, more forceful than ever.

_"I'm sorry, Bella. But I'm going, and you have to stay with Daddy."_

_"Momma, I don't want you to go!"_

_"I'm sorry, baby. But this is too much for me. I can't take care of you anymore, sweetie."_

_"Don't! Mommy, please!"_

_"Bye bye, Bella."_

I shuddered.

We were now passing the play ground; the play ground I remembered all too well from my childhood. It was the play ground my mother used to bring me to on rare sunny days before she left. When she did leave, the outings to the play ground stopped. There was no way Charlie would have ever brought me there, and I wouldn't have wanted to go with him anyway. He was the last person I ever wanted to spend my time with when I was a child.

"So what do you think of Forks, Bella?" Carlisle asked as we passed Forks High School, the one and only place I wasn't familiar with.

What did I think? It was gloomy, rainy, depressing...horrifying.

"It's...cool."

"Well I'm glad you like it here. We know it can be a little rainy, but it's really a nice town. There are some very friendly people here."

He obviously hadn't been here when the Swan family maintained residence on Mills Street.

We passed my old elementary school, the baseball diamond, and the outdoor gear shop, all places I remembered far too well.

Eventually, Carlisle pulled into an unexpected opening in the trees, and down that path for about five minutes until we came to a stop.

The house that was in front of me hardly fit in the town of Forks. It was huge! One side of it was white, and the other glass, and the complicated yet beautiful architecture blew my mind away.

I didn't say anything, though. I couldn't let the Cullens think I would actually like it here, because no matter how beautiful it was, I would still hate it.

Emmett took my suitcase out of the trunk and hoisted it above his head, making it look effortless, even though it weighed thirty pounds.

We entered through a big, glass door that led into a grand living room. Of course, the house was even more spectacular on the inside. It was obvious that someone in this family liked to design rooms, because so far, this one was perfect. Every piece of furniture seemed to be custom made for the house.

I admired it for about a second, but otherwise ignored it.

"Come on!" Alice squealed, and I saw Rosalie behind her. Alice grabbing my hand. "We'll show you your room!"

She practically had me sprinting up the staircase with Rosalie following, and down the hallways, and led me to the last door on the right, naming other rooms as she went.

"Emmett's room, Rosalie's room, my room, Jasper's room, Edward's room, and this," she said as we came to the last door, "is your room."

She opened the door, revealing a bedroom that looked like it came straight from a magazine. Three of the walls were white, and the forth was glass. There was a giant bed in the middle, covered with a light blue comforter and silver pillows. A flat screen T.V. was mounted on the wall across from the bed, and a white desk was in the corner of the room. There was a comfortable looking light blue chair in the opposite corner with an ottoman, and a gray blanket was draped over it. I had my own bathroom from what I could see through an open door on the wall with the television, and another open door that revealed an empty closet.

"Well? What do you think?" Rosalie asked, anxious.

"It's nice," I murmured. Truth be told, this was probably the nicest room I would ever be staying in as a foster child, not that it mattered.

She was silent for a moment. "I'll have to take you shopping so you can fill up that closet," Alice mused, excited.

Oh, no. "Um, _no._ Really, it's okay. I mean, I have clothes." I didn't want to spend this family's money when I was just going to leave them in six months anyway.

"Don't be_ silly_," she smiled, but knit her eyebrows together. "Of _course_ we have to go shopping! I mean, certainly you don't have enough clothes in that little suitcase!" She laughed at the impossibility of that.

"Actually," I started, not really thinking, "I think I'll be able to manage quite fine, thank you."

I regretted my words immediately when Alice's face fell.

I didn't say anything.

"_Oh_...alright. Um, well we can wait." Rosalie responded, seeming disappointed and even a little offended.

I wanted to kick myself.

"Do you need any help getting unpacked?" She asked.

"No. It won't take very long."

"...Okay." Alice's once happy voice was now sad. "Well, we'll see you." And with that, they sadly walked out of the room, and Alice shut the door behind them.

I sighed, crumpling to the floor. I rested my forehead against my knees, and took a moment to wallow in my misery.

Why did this have to happen to me? Why can't life just be easy for once? Why did the nicest foster family I've ever had have to live in Forks? Why couldn't I lead a happy, normal life? Why couldn't I have a family? Why did everything—

"Bella?" Carlisle called as he knocked on my door.

I sprang up from the ground. "Uh, come in."

He and Esme came through the door, hand in hand.

"We were just coming in to see how you were doing," Esme explained.

_You don't want to know how I'm doing,_ I thought. "I'm fine. I'm going to start unpacking."

"Alright, dear. Let one of us know if you need any help," Esme told me.

"I will," I lied.

And then they left, leaving the anguish to take over me.

**_Edward's P.O.V._**

"I don't understand what her _problem_ is!" Alice complained as she and Rosalie stepped into the garage where I was tweaking the breaks of my Volvo after having noticed their squeaking on our way back from the air port.

"What happened?" I asked from underneath the car as I tightened a nail with a screw driver.

"I mean, all I wanted for us to do was shop! Is that_ really_ too much to ask?" She demanded.

I laughed at my sister's frustration. "Not everyone is a shopaholic like you, Al," I reminded her.

"But it was just the way she said it," Alice dragged on. "_I have clothes_." Alice mimicked Bella's voice in a high pitched tone that sounded nothing like Bella's real voice. "_I'll manage quite fine, thank you!"_ Alice babbled.

"Well, maybe--" I started to stand up for the girl, but Rosalie interrupted me.

"And that's not all!" Rose vented. "She said her new room was _nice_! Esme and I worked for _weeks_ perfecting that room, and she says it's _nice_! What an ungrateful little--"

"_Rose_," I cut in, sliding out from underneath the car. "Did you ever think that maybe Bella's just not used to all the attention?"

Alice and Rosalie were perched on the hood of Alice's yellow 911 Porsche Turbo, both with their arms angrily folded over their chests.

"But still!" Rosalie argued. "She could at least show a little appreciation!"

I sighed. "Now come on, Rose. You know that's not fair. Do you remember when you first came to live with Carlisle and Esme as foster parents?"

Rosalie rolled her blue eyes. "I was five, Edward. Of course I don't remember."

I sighed, and turned to Alice. "Well, Alice. You were eleven! And I came a year afterward! Surely you remember how big of an adjustment it was. Don't you?"

Alice hesitated. "_Yes_, but..." She trailed off, having nothing to say.

"Exactly." I walked over to them, feeling more like their father then their brother. "Give her a little time. Let her get used to us, and then you can bombard her with whatever ridiculous shopping excursions you have planned. Alright?"

They both sighed in defeat.

"Fine," Alice mumbled.

"Why do you always act so mature, Edward? You're seventeen for God's sake!" She laughed. I smiled and shrugged. "Well, someone has to be the mature one around here. I mean, if it weren't for me, _Emmett_ would be running the household."

We all shuddered at the thought.

Yes, Emmett could easily drive everyone to insanity. That we all knew very well.

"So, anyways, just give her a few days. She'll warm up to us eventually, I'm sure," I assured them.

"So, while we're waiting for her to warm up," Alice started, and I laughed at how the sentence came out. "Just tell Esme that Rose and I went to the mall."

And with that, the two scurried into Alice's Porsche, backed out of the garage and down the road.

I laughed, shaking my head.

As I continued to work on my car, I thought about this new Bella. She was very peculiar, from what I saw of her already. I had been excited for a new sibling, although I was very well aware that secretly, Carlisle and Esme were crossing their fingers that Isabella Swan would be to me what Alice is to Jasper, and Rosalie to Emmett. Yes, my parents were quite the matchmakers. I knew that they wanted me to fall in love with Bella, although it seemed very unlikely. I heard them through the air vent in my room, whispering in their own bedroom at night about how wonderful it would be if Bella and I were together, and how I wouldn't be the odd man out anymore. Quite honestly, I didn't mind being the only one who was alone. But if I was in the market for finding a girlfriend, or even a soul mate as my siblings were with each other, I could do that myself. I didn't need Carlisle and Esme's help.

It wasn't that Bella wasn't pretty. She had long, brown hair, and wide, chocolate eyes. Her face was extremely pale, except for when she blushed; as she had earlier today when she had shook my hand. That had actually been rather funny—she had been distracted by something about me and hadn't realized how long our handshake had been. But nevertheless, she would be nothing more than a sister to me, I was sure.

That night at dinner, we all sat around the glossy, wooden table in the dining room—a room we hardly ever used except for on special occasions.

Esme brought out the roast chicken, and Rosalie followed behind her with the vegetables. Bella was sitting at the head of the table, seemingly uncomfortable. She fidgeted with a strand of her hair the whole time.

Bella had spent the afternoon in her room, and had remained there until dinner. Esme had worried obsessively, and checked on her every once in a while, only to find Bella unpacking or reading. She too, believed that Bella needed time to adjust, and so we let her be in her room, not disturbing her until dinner.

We ate in silence, and I glanced up at all of my brothers and sisters awkwardly. Even Emmett didn't know what to say. Today was Saturday, meaning we would have to bask in our awkwardness for another whole day until we had the distraction of school. Forks and knives seemed to clank louder than normal as we ate.

At one point, perhaps to break the deafening silence, Emmett burped as loud as he could, causing Esme and Carlisle to whisk their heads in his direction and glare at him.

"_Emmett_!" Esme chastised.

I, on the other hand, had my hand over my mouth trying to control my laughter. Rose, Alice, and Jasper were all doing the same. Bella simply smiled weakly as she poked her chicken with her fork.

"We apologize on Emmett's behalf," Carlisle said to Bella.

"Yeah," said Jasper, speaking to Bella for the first time. "Please excuse our dear brother. He's different, you see..." He trailed off teasingly, and was silenced when Emmett's fist came in contact with his arm.

"_Boys_!" Esme warned.

The weak smile was plastered onto Bella's face.

Did she ever smile and actually mean it?

After the most awkward dinner of my life, I went upstairs to my room to listen to music, and to get my mind off of everything. Bella had bee-lined it straight to her own room the second dinner was over, without a word.

I lay on my bed, listening to Debussy. His music was peaceful, calming. Like being in a dream...

I didn't know when I fell asleep.

When I woke up, the window wall was pitch black, and I noticed my music had been turned off. I had a blanket over me, courtesy of Esme, probably. I relaxed, prepared to go back to sleep, when I heard a faint noise coming from my air vent...

Sobs.

I threw the blanket off of me and stumbled groggily out of bed, and listened closer to the vent. Yes, someone was definitely crying. I couldn't imagine it being anyone but Bella. I tiptoed out of my room and pressed my ear to the door next to mine, Bella's door.

Her sobs were quiet, yet she gasped in between as if she was being punched in the stomach over and over again. I knocked quietly, not wanting to scare her. No answer.

Slowly and hesitantly, I opened her door, wide enough to stick my head in. I saw the outline of her body in the darkness. She was curled up in a ball on her bed, her body shaking with sobs. My heart broke for her. She looked so sad, so vulnerable.

"Bella?" I whispered into the dark room. She didn't notice me.

Cautiously, carefully, I took a step into her room. I tip toed to her bedside, and, having realized that she hadn't noticed me yet, I took a seat on the side of her mattress, and laid my hand on her shoulder comfortingly.

She flinched, and jolted up. When her eyes met mine, she gasped.

"_Edward_!" She exclaimed, tears evident in her voice. It was the most emotion I've ever heard in her tone.

"Bella, it's okay." I whispered, ignoring her panicked, brown eyes. "I know you're scared, but don't worry. Things will work out, you'll see. It's alright, _Bella, don't cry_--"

"_Get_ _out_, Edward!" She muttered, angry this time.

I knit my eyebrows in confusion. "Bella?"

"Get out!" She demanded louder this time. "Just get out."

Why did she want me to leave? I was only trying to help her. "Bella...let me--"

"Edward, please!" She cried, a sob escaping her lips. "_Please_," she whispered as more tears leaked out from the corners of her chocolate eyes. "Just go. Please." It was like she was begging now.

I hesitated, wondering how Carlisle would handle this situation. Would he insist on staying? Or would he respect her wishes? I supposed doing what she wanted would be best. I sighed, my heart breaking more and more as I took each step out of her room.

Why would she be so sad? I tried to remember being that emotion when Carlisle and Esme had taken me in for the first time, or if Jasper, the most recent to join our family besides Bella had been. Of course, the adjustment had been difficult, but no, neither Jasper nor I had ever felt so dreadful about it. Bella must have had a difficult past, and perhaps she wasn't used to all the attention. Yes, I would have to take my own advice from earlier. She needed time. But still, what had her so worked up? I didn't know. And until she got out of this dark stage, and until she warmed up to us, we all wouldn't know. But I was worried about her. I wanted her to be happy here.

I fell asleep to the sound of Bella's cries.

**A/N: Okie dokie, there's chapter one. Tell me if you liked it, or if you didn't like it or if I should change anything or add anything, you get the point. If you didn't like it, please don't be too mean...but just tell me what I should do differently. **


	3. First Day

**A/N: Woops forgot to put a disclaimer on the first chapter. I always forget to do that! Don't sue me, I don't own Twilight, blah blah blah. But here it is anyway.**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight.**

Chapter Two

_**Bella's P.O.V.**_

"Well, they're a bit long on you, but they'll have to do," Alice mused once I came out of my closet (which was bigger than my bedroom) wearing Rosalie's designer jeans. I was also wearing her blue blouse that, luckily, had long sleeves. Alice had insisted that I borrow Rosalie's clothes, since we both knew very well that my second-hand clothes donated to the Mensner House were hideous. I would have worn them, but I didn't want to argue with Alice.

I didn't say anything. I was already on not-so-good terms with her, and I didn't want to make anything worse. Not that it would end up mattering, in the end.

"Well, we'll eventually have to take you shopping," she told me cautiously, as if I were a volcano about to erupt. "Just a few more outfits," she amended. "You can't wear Rosalie's things forever."

I nodded, but internally cringed at the idea of shopping with the pixie before me. It wasn't that she wasn't nice to me. I just didn't want to have much human interaction with anyone in this house.

Yesterday had been uneventful. I spent the majority of it in my room, reading. I had never been one for watching television, so the big flat screen on the wall remained off. I knew my foster family had been worried about me, that much was obvious. They were constantly barging into my room, offering to take me out for ice cream, or play a card game. Emmett even came in to see if I wanted to play a video game with him. I was polite as I could have been in rejecting each offer.

I hadn't spoken to Edward, either. After Saturday night's events occurred, we had done a marvellous job at avoiding each other. Of course, I shunned away everybody, but Edward didn't come annoyingly knocking at my door once on Sunday. I was glad—I was far too embarrassed to face his green eyes again. Nobody had ever seen me cry until now. That was because most of the time, my foster family members never cared enough to lug themselves out of bed at night to see what was wrong with me. Yes, I did cry almost every night. The first nights in new foster homes were always the hardest, especially at this one. This particular night had consisted of a nightmare; one so much more forceful than all my past nightmares. I didn't have a doubt it was because I was back in Forks, where everything had happened. Being here again had triggered the frightening dreams, and I would have no choice but to live with them for six more dreadful months.

Speaking of dreadful, today was my first day at Fork's High School. Once there, I would be faced with excited teenagers all desperate to get to know the new girl, just as always. Forks was a small town, meaning my arrival would only be that more exciting to the kids at school.

Great.

And to make it even worse, Alice had me dolled up in Rosalie's expensive, too-tight clothes that I would never wear in a million years if she wasn't forcing me to. And if I wanted to stay emotionally apart from my foster family, I would not want to argue with her. Well, emotionally apart with everyone except for Edward. He had seen me cry, and now it was too late.

"Bella?" Alice asked in a quiet, high voice, interrupting my thoughts.

I turned to look at her.

"You can sit with us at lunch today. The lot of us usually sit at the same table. I'll save you a seat, alright?" Her dark brown eyes seemed wary, but hopeful.

I nodded. "Okay." At least now I wouldn't have to sit alone, like at my last school.

A small smile appeared on her pale face. "Good."

"_Everyone! Bus is leavin'_!" I heard Emmett call from downstairs.

Alice rolled her eyes, and gestured for me follow her down the stairs.

We met up with the rest of them in the garage. They were already situated in Emmett's giant, white Jeep. Alice slid down the first two seats in the middle row next to Jasper, and I sat next to her by the window. The Jeep roared out of the garage, and speeded down the forest path. Emmett drove fast, and riding so quickly in such a big vehicle frightened me a little. It was a ridiculous thing to be afraid of, I knew, because in my world, there were many more things to be afraid of.

"Edward," Alice asked as we pulled out of the forest and onto the main road. "Do you mind telling Mrs. Goff that I'm going to be a few minutes late to class? I'm going to take Bella to the office to get her schedule," she explained.

I realized Alice had just decided had just decided that she would be my tour guide for Forks High School all on her own. She hadn't offered it to me, she just did.

"Sure," Edward replied. "Or, I could take her, if you like."

I resisted the urge to whisk my head toward him in disgust. As of now, Edward was my least favorite sibling, next to Alice. It wasn't that either of them did anything mean to me. They had been the nicest, actually. That was just the problem. I didn't need nice. I didn't need all the fluff and kindness crap. I could manage quite well on my own, thank you very much. But honestly, I would rather spend the day being led around by Alice, not by Edward.

"Oh, do you mind?" Alice wondered. Then she turned to me. "I would, but I do have a project due in her class I don't think it would be best to be late," she amended.

I shrugged, knowing my battle of avoiding Edward was lost.

"Of course I don't mind," Edward replied. "Maybe I can see if Bella can have a combination of my classes and your classes, so she's never without a sibling," he suggested, and I could almost see the smug smile on his face.

This time, I couldn't resist. I turned my head to the side so I could see Edward in the backseat out of the corner of my eye. Sure enough, he saw my irritated frown, but he simply smiled.

"That's a good idea," Alice agreed, oblivious to the stare-down between her brother and me.

We had now pulled up into Forks High School's parking lot. Emmett parked the car, and everyone climbed out. I looked at my watch. We had two minutes before the first bell rang.

"Come on Bella," Edward said, putting his hand on my back. "Let's head to the office."

I flinched from his touch, my eyes widening at him. The look on my face dared him to touch me for one more second. He cringed, and dropped his hand to the side.

I kept a step behind Edward as we walked to the office. Forks High School was small, very unlike my previous schools. It was pouring rain, and my hair was wet by the time we walked through the office's glass door.

Edward walked me to the front desk, and spoke my name for me.

"Isabella Swan," he informed the woman sitting there, Ms. Cope by the looks of it. I raised my eyebrows in disgust. I was perfectly capable of telling the office lady my own name!

"Isabella Swan, yes. Your father registered her here last week, correct?" She asked Edward, as if I wasn't there.

"Yes."

She dug through some files on her desk, until she pulled out a tan folder that had my name written on it in permanent marker. "This is Isabella's schedule. Maybe you could walk her through it and show her to her first classroom," Ms. Cope suggested.

"Actually," Edward said while scanning my schedule. "Bella is actually my foster sister. Would you mind terribly if her schedule was changed to fit my sister, Alice's, and my own?" I noticed Edward's voice was a little too gentle, making it that much more convincing.

Ms. Cope met with his green eyes, and froze.

He was...he was...he was _dazzling_ her! I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at the scene.

"Well...um...this normally wouldn't be allowed...but since this is a special circumstance...I suppose I can let alter Isabella's schedule." She stammered.

Ridiculous.

"Thank you," Edward murmured, and Ms. Cope shakily handed him a pen to make the unnecessary adjustments.

I glared at him, and he simply smirked and started to scribble something on the paper.

He handed the schedule to me once he was done. I took it unwillingly, still glaring at him.

He smiled at me, and then at Ms. Cope.

"Thanks, Ms. Cope. You see, my family and I want Bella to have the easiest time here possible. We're very appreciative of your help," Edward remarked.

"Of course," she breathed, her face seeming to be in a trace. "Enjoy your first day, dear," she said to me, but she was still staring at Edward.

"Thanks," I mumbled as Edward waved goodbye to Ms. Cope and followed him back outside.

I couldn't stop myself from questioning Edward the second we exited the office. I regretted talking immediately; my goal for today had been to talk as little as possible.

"What was _that_?" I demanded as we walked into the rain.

He chuckled. "_She speaks_!" He declared, victorious.

"Who do you think you _are_?" I lectured. "First, you decide that I need some sort of _chaperone_, and you nominate yourself when you knew _very_ well that I did _not_ want you to _do_ that! And then you...you _charm_ the office lady to get her to change my _schedule_? I can take care of myself!" I was completely surprised at my outburst. Why had I spoken at all?! This was _not _part of the plan.

Edward's face was surprised, too, but he quickly recovered. "You forgot one thing," he pointed out.

"What?" I demanded, oblivious.

"I don't respect your personal privacy, either. I came into your room two nights ago. You kicked me out, remember?" He wasn't smiling, but I could hint the sarcasm in his voice.

Damn. I'd hoped that he wouldn't have brought that up. My first night here had been a disaster, and for Edward to bring it up made my cheeks redden.

I didn't answer.

"What was wrong, the other night anyway? You never told me," Edward pointed out.

What, he _cared_?

"Why do you care?" I demanded, though not so loudly this time.

"Well, you're my sister, I suppose. Of course I would care," he said as we walked across the street and towards the school building.

"Sister?!" I growled.

His eyebrows knit. "Yes...isn't that what you are?"

I felt like throwing up. "I will _never_ be your sister."

"Friend at least, then," he amended.

"_No_," I barked.

He sighed, and opened the front door to the school. I hadn't even realized we had reached it.

"Why are you being like this, Bella?" He quipped, his voice stronger, yet not harsh.

"Like what?" I breathed, annoyed.

"Pretending that you hate the world and everyone in it. You isolate yourself from your family and--"

"Family?" I chuckled humourlessly. "Edward, I have no family."

By now we were walking down the empty hallway. I had no idea where we were going.

Edward froze, seeming offended. "You don't see us as your family?"

I shook my head. "Why should I? I'll be leaving in six months anyways. You guys are no different or special than my past foster families."

Edward's face fell. "_Leaving_?" He asked, as if the word was foreign to him. "What do you mean, leaving?"

I chuckled again, this time with some humor. "What, you thought I would _stay_ or something? That we would all be one happy family together and live happily ever after? It doesn't work that way, Edward."

He stopped walking. "How can you say that? It worked out that way for me, and for Alice, and Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie! How could you think that it couldn't work out like that for you?"

"Edward, I'll be eighteen in nine months. Then I'll be free from all this crap and I can have my own life," I explained. "What's the point of living happily ever after when there's really no point?"

"Bella, you're being utterly absurd. What's wrong with you? Carlisle and Esme are worried sick about you. They keep trying to reach out to you, and you keep rejecting them. You reject all of us! I can see what you're trying to put off. You're trying to make people think that you can take care of yourself, and you really can't, Bella. Nobody can. Everybody needs somebody to help them once in a while. Why can't you let us help?" His bronze, wet hair was dripping in front of his pale, confused face.

I kept my lips in a firm, straight line. Edward's emerald eyes were gleaming with anger and confusion. I took a few moments to breathe so my voice would come out calm.

"You don't know me, at all."

Edward opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted.

"You two!" We both whisked around to see an older teacher poking her head out of the doorway of her classroom. "Get to class! We're having a test in here, and you're distracting my class!" The teacher scolded before ducking back into her classroom.

I sighed, and turned around. I started to walk further down the hallway, having no idea where I was going, and not caring in the least.

"Where are you going, Bella?" Edward murmured from ten feet behind me.

"To_ class_," I muttered back and kept walking.

"You're going the wrong way."

I froze in my tracks, and turned around, feeling like an idiot as I trudged back to him.

"Fine," I spat, acid in my voice. "Lead the way."

His jaw locked, and his face was hard. He didn't speak, but he turned down the hallway I hadn't even noticed to the left. We walked pass several classrooms until we entered a door that said _biology_ on the front. Edward opened it for me, forcing me to be the first to answer the hell pit.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen," the teacher greeted. "Thank you for joining us. And who's this?"

"New student," Edward told him in a quiet voice. I was glad he hadn't said foster sister.

"Ah, Isabella Swan, isn't it?" The teacher guessed.

I struggled to find my voice. The anger and embarrassment of my last conversation had distracted me. "Uh...y-yes."

"Welcome. You can have a seat right next to Jessica Stanley over there," the teacher instructed, pointing to a girl sitting in the middle row to the right. I walked across the room, plopping down in the seat where the teacher, Mr. Mathews as the name tag on the desk read, had pointed to.

I pulled off my raincoat and put it on the back of my seat. I then turned to see my lab partner smiling at me. I ignored her, facing my head in front of me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward sitting down on the opposite corner of the room.

"Mr. Newton," Mr. Mathews called out. "Would you get Isabella a textbook please?"

The blond haired boy sitting next to Edward nodded, sliding out of his chair and retrieving a thick book from the shelf in the back of the room. He then strode over to me, his shoulders squared.

He laid the book on my desk, and smiled. "Mike," he introduced himself in a whisper.

I fake-smiled at him, and he turned around to sit back in his desk.

"Bella, we're reading about kinetic theory on page four seventy two," Mr. Mathews instructed me.

Kinetic theory, a lesson I'd studied back at my previous school in Jacksonville.

I didn't pay any attention during the hour. Having know the kinetic theory probably as well as Mr. Mathews did, I stared blankly at the page, thinking.

Edward had been wrong. Dead wrong. I didn't need anybody. I was not his sister nor were the Cullens my family. I did not need help, and I never would.

As the hour dragged on, I studied my schedule that Edward had revised. There were pen marks all over it, but they were still easy to follow. He had written either his name or Alice's name depending on the class I had with either one of them

I had Calculus, English, and Gym with Alice, and Biology, Government, and Spanish with Edward. Well that was great. Edward had made an even divide between his sister and himself, not leaving me alone for one class.

The bell rang before I knew it. I ignored Edward as I left the room as fast as I could, not wanting to face him. My next class was English, and I decided I would just meet Alice there rather than looking for her like an idiot. I pushed my way through the immense crowd of students until I saw the correct room number for the English room. Alice was already inside, getting her books situated. I simply had my science book in hand, and I felt odd standing around the students who were carrying piles upon piles. Alice smiled and waved once she saw me, and I curved my lips into yet another fake smile, and turned around.

"Um, sir?" I asked the teacher, Mr. Mason, who was writing something at his desk. "I'm a new student."

"Yes, Isabella. I've been expecting you. Why don't you go have a seat next to Freddie, over there, and I'll find you a text book."

And that was how the remainder of the morning went. I didn't pay any attention to the lectures I had heard over and over again in my previous schools. I simply doodled in my notebook that Mr. Mason had given to me, or fidgeted with the silk material of Rosalie's borrowed shirt. My next class was gym, where luckily, I was able to sit on the sidelines and watch, since it was my first day. I had experienced too many mishaps today, and participating in a volleyball game and getting smacked straight in the face wouldn't help anything.

After the bell rang and Alice changed out of her gym clothes, she told me to walk with her to the cafeteria. We stopped at her locker, and after locating mine, threw my books in. We then proceeded to follow the rest of the students into the cafeteria. We purchased food, and Alice led me to a table in the middle and sat down. I sat in the empty seat next to her, looking at my shoes the whole time. Jasper and Rosalie were already sitting down, along Mike Newton and Jessica Stanley from biology. Sitting among them were kids I didn't know. Rosalie eyed me, then her shirt that was on my body, and then turned her attention to the door, waiting for someone. I was surprised when Alice leaned in to Jasper's side to peck him on his lips. So they were together after all.

I picked at my piece of pizza, not hungry at all. After a few minutes, Emmett and Edward arrived out of nowhere.

"Mrs. Carton always keeps us after class!" Emmett complained as he threw his lunch tray on the table and plopped in his chair. I saw him reach over and put his hand on Rosalie's knee, and then started to devour his food with his other hand. Edward sat next to him, setting his chair on the table, an emotionless expression on his face.

The members at the table broke into chatter, and I ignored them. I twirled my hair around my finger.

"So, Isabella, right?" A voice called my name. Mike Newton, the blond haired boy, was sitting across from me.

I nodded. "Well, Bella," I corrected him.

"Bella. Cool. Um, yeah, well, welcome to Forks."

"Thanks," I muttered.

"No way, _Bella_?" An unfamiliar female voice called. "Bella Swan?"

I turned my head towards the sound of my name, wondering who would be so surprised to see me.

I knit my eyebrows at a girl with dark brown hair and dark eyes who sat on the opposite end of Mike stared at me in shock. "Oh my gosh! I can't believe it!" She smiled.

I was dumbfounded. "Believe what?"

"Bella, don't you remember me? I'm Angela..._Angela Weber_, remember?"

Angela. No, the name did not ring a bell.

I shook my head, blushing as ever member at the table stopped talking to witness the conversation between me and this mysterious Angela.

"Oh, come on. Mrs. Jory's class, second grade, remember? Oh, _wow_. I never thought you'd move back here, not after I noticed that weird cut on your arm. Were you okay? Did you get into trouble or something?"

I just blinked, trying to remember. Second grade? I scanned through my files of memories, mostly the bad ones, trying to remember.

_"Belly? You're arm is hurt. It's all cut up," a little girl with dark eyes and hair noticed._

The girl had told the teacher after school.

_"Bella, dear?" The teacher asked me, having kept me after class when all the other second graders left the room. "Can you tell me where you got that cut? It looks infected."_

I had been hesitant to respond, wondering what Charlie would do to me if he found out I told on him.

_"My daddy. He threw a vase at me."_

Then, my last day at school.

_"Where you going Bella?" The same dark haired and eyed girl asked the seven year old version of me._

_"I dunno. Daddy went away with the police man yesterday, and now I have to go away too."_

_The girl's eyes saddened. "I'll miss you, Belly."_

_"I'll miss you too, Angie."_

Angie. Angie Weber._ Angela Weber_.

I looked up to face my old friend, who was still trying to trigger my memory.

"Bella, come on. You left that one day, after your dad got arrested. I never thought you'd move back to Forks!" Angela grinned, seeming to have missed me.

_No_. This couldn't be happening. What were the odds that anyone would remember me, after all these years? I hadn't expected this at all.

I had to lie. Nobody here could know what had happened to me. I wasn't about to let Angela Weber, my best friend from second grade at Forks Elementary, blow my shameful secret on my first day of school.

"Um, my dad never went to jail. And I've never lived in Forks. Maybe it was another Bella Swan."

Angela shook her head. "_Come on_. In a town this small? You even _look_ the same as you did in second grade. I can't believe you came back!"

I shook my head, thinking fast. "I lived in...Phoenix before I came to live here. I've never lived here before."

"Wait," Alice said, "what are you guys talking about? I'm totally lost."

"I guess I was wrong," Angela mused, but still looking at me, suspecting. "I just thought Bella was one of my old friends who moved years ago. I guess it was a different Bella."

"Oh," Alice said, getting back to her lunch.

Angela continued to stare at me, and I stared at my lap, my heart beating ferociously.

I looked up for the briefest of moments, and saw Edward eyeing me, too.

Could this day be any more of a disaster?

I looked back down, thinking about what I should do. I would have to confront Angela. I would have to ask her—beg her—to not mention a word to anyone. She would have to follow my original story, about apparently having lived in Phoenix—which was true, although my foster siblings knew very well that it had been at a child care house. So, it would throw them off a little. _They_ could make their own assumptions, but if Angela kept her promise as I prayed she would, if and when they asked her about it, she would simply say it was a different Bella. No more questions would be asked, and then I would leave Forks. For good.

The rest of the day dragged on, and I plotted ways to lure Angela to be alone with me. Then, I would beg her to keep my secret. Yes, I would have to relive the past as I explained to Angela why I had so abruptly left Forks at age seven. But it would be more unbearable if I had to explain it to the Cullens.

Alice and Edward silently led me from class to class for the remainder of the day, and I was given text books and spiral notebooks and pencils from other teachers.

The final bell rang, and I darted from my seat to the door.

"Wait, Bella!" I heard Alice call as she gathered her books. "Wait for me!"

I sighed. "I...just have to run to the bathroom. I'll meet you in the car."

And, without waiting to hear her response, I darted in the hallway, looking for my old friend.

She was by a locker in the second half of the building, shoving heavy books into her backpack.

"Angela?" I said loud enough so she would hear me over the roar of the students.

"Bella?" She stood up.

"Can I talk to you?"

She knit her eyebrows in confusion and nodded.

She followed me into the nearest girl's bathroom, and, after making sure there was no one in the stalls, I turned to face her.

"Um, Bella, what's going on?"

"Angela, you were right," I admitted, unwillingly and painfully.

"Right?" She repeated.

"I...I am the Bella from Mrs. Jory's class...okay? But, please,_ please_ don't tell _anybody_."

"Why not?"

I hesitated. "I just don't want anyone to know."

"Bella, what's going on?" Angela questioned. "What happened? We were, like, best friends when we were kids. What's the big deal?"

"Okay," I sighed, trying to keep the lump from forming in my throat. "Yes...I know that I left. It was because my father...my father _abused_ me, okay? He was arrested, like you said, and I was brought into child care. I've been in foster homes for ten years. It's...It's just a creepy coincidence that I winded up with the Cullens..._here_, and I don't want anyoneto know about this. Okay? Please. I'm _begging_ you. You can't--"

"_Wait,"_ Angela interrupted me. "If you don't want me to tell anyone, what should I say if one of the Cullens asks me? I bet you anything Alice will."

Ah, so she was trustworthy. Thank God. "Just...tell them that you had me confused with someone else. That you have no idea who I am and you don't know anything about me."

"If...if that's what you want."

"It's what I _need,_ Angela. Trust me. No one can know."

She sighed, seeming only partly decided. "Okay...I guess. I'm...so sorry about your dad. I had no idea...I wish I could have done something."

"We were only seven," I reminded her. My next words came out in a rush. "I don't even care anymore. Look, I have to go. They're waiting for me in the parking lot."

"Oh. Okay, well, could we hang out sometime? You know, catch up on old times?"

I shook my head. "Angela, this has to be a secret. Please."

"Oh yeah," she remembered. "Okay. Well, see you around."

"Yeah," I said, swinging open the bathroom door and walking out, wiping horrified moisture from my eyes as I did so.

It was wet and rainy when I walked back outside. The Jeep was in the far end of the parking lot, the headlights standing out in the green and fog. I ran across the parking lot carefully, without tripping, and swung open the Jeep door. Rosalie glared at me from the backseat, noticing that I soaked her shirt. I ignored her, and didn't say a word to anyone, nor did anyone speak to me.

When we arrived home, I bee-lined straight to my room, pushed the door, and collapsed on the ground with sobs the second it clicked shut.

**A/N: Sheesh that was a lot of drama for only chapter two! I'm gonna have to learn how to spread it out a bit, eh? I want this fic to be fairly long, and I have a few ideas for the future. Please _REVIEW _and tell me what you thought of this chapter. I know it was a lot, but I had fun writing it. Next chapter will be Edward's P.O.V. Thank you for everyone who reviewed, and keep reviewing! I need all the input I can get!!!**


	4. Investigators

**Chapter Three**

**_Edward's P.O.V._**

Calculus homework was impossible to complete with all the sound effects coming from my air vent. Bella's all-too familiar sobs sounded my room, and as bad as I felt for her, I was also irritated that her misery was disrupting my education. I didn't dare go in her room to try to comfort her. After what happened last time and then earlier today...I shuddered.

But this did have to be stopped. I couldn't let this go on for much longer. It wasn't fair for Bella to be so unhappy, and it wasn't fair to me that I couldn't finish an easy homework assignment.

What was Bella crying about anyway? What could be so bad that would make her so miserable? I didn't know. We had been nice to her. Alright, so our conversation...er, argument...earlier this morning was maybe a little upsetting to both her and I. But _I_ wasn't locked in my room _sobbing_ about it!

Or was it because of what occurred this afternoon in the cafeteria? Had Angela's misunderstanding caused her unhappiness? I didn't see how it could—but of course, Bella was very peculiar. I never knew what might upset her.

I turned back to my homework, determined to finish.

Impossible.

I groaned in frustration, dramatically flinging my homework sheet on the carpet and barging out of my room. I walked past Bella's door that had muffled sobs coming out of it, and down the hallway to Carlisle's study. I knocked on the door a bit louder than I should have.

"Oh! Edward, come in," Carlisle called from the opposite side of the door.

I swung it open, and firmly shut it behind me.

"You scared me, son," Carlisle chuckled, going back to whatever he was writing at his desk.

He then noticed that my mouth was set into a straight line.

"...Is something the matter?" Carlisle asked, standing up from his desk.

I sighed, and took a seat on one of the businesslike chairs in front of his desk. "It's Bella."

"Bella?" Carlisle repeated before sitting back down.

"Yes. Carlisle, I'm sure you and Esme have noticed that Bella...is more than willing to decline any attention or help we try to give her," I remarked.

Carlisle nodded sadly. "Yes, well unfortunately, some people are like that, son. Bella's been living in Foster homes for ten years, after all. How could we expect her to be open to help? How could we expect her to be open to _anything_?"

I hesitated, trying to see how I could word this correctly. "Well, you see, that's just the thing. Bella has been in foster homes for many years, and I'm sure we're not the first family who has tried to help her. I think she's rejected help from everyone for ten years," I explained to him.

Carlisle nodded. "That may very well be, Edward."

"Carlisle," I asked, preparing myself for the million dollar question. "Are you and Esme planning to adopt Bella?"

"Well, it's a law that Bella has to stay with us for six months until a final decision is made," Carlisle explained. "If both adoptive parents and foster child are willing to be a family after that time, then that's what will happen. But even if only one side isn't willing, they will not be forced. Of course, Esme and I would be overjoyed to adopt Bella, and we love her as our own daughter, but Bella would ultimately have to make a decision as whether she wants us or not."

I sighed. "She doesn't," I muttered.

"Excuse me?"

I hesitated. "She _doesn't_ want us. Earlier today at school, she told me she didn't want _anybody_. Carlisle, she's not going to be adopted by anybody. She's almost eighteen, and that's all she cares about. She is desperate to start her own life, without all the foster care."

"Well, if that's what she wants then--"

"But that's not all that happened today," I interrupted Carlisle, rudely. "I think Bella may have lived here before. Before she went to all the foster homes."

Carlisle knit his eyebrows. "What do you mean? You're saying she lived _here,_ in Forks?"

I nodded. "Angela Weber brought it up at lunch today. She was so surprised and happy to see Bella after Bella apparently disappeared from their second grade class, after her father was apparently arrested. Something happened to Bella here, which is why she cries all the time. I think--"

"Cries?" Carlisle questioned, his eyes pained.

I nodded quickly. "In her room every night. I tried to comfort her the first night, and she told me to get out. She's actually crying in her room right now, too."

Carlisle sighed. "Poor child."

"So anyway," I went on. "After hearing what Angela said, I think something happened to Bella here. That's why she's so unhappy. I think that she lived in Forks up until she was in second grade, and then something happened where her father was arrested and then Bella was most likely taken into child care. And for whatever reason, Bella is desperate to make sure nobody knows her secret. After all, Bella insisted that it must have been a different Bella in second grade, althought that's sort of...unlikely, for a town this small."

It took Carlisle a moment to digest the information. "That's a very good observation, son."

"Carlisle, I _have_ to find out more about Bella. What information did they give you at the Mensner House?" I asked.

Carlisle shook his head. "They didn't tell me a lot. Just that Bella's been a foster child since she was seven years old."

I nodded. "But, I'm sure other people around Forks would know about her, if I asked them," I clarified.

"I don't see why not," Carlisle remarked. "But be careful Edward. Obviously Bella doesn't want you or anyone else to know about her. Make sure that this would be a wise choice."

I nodded. "I want Bella to join our family," I admitted. "I think everyone deserves a family, and Bella doesn't have one. If I could just find some way to help her, maybe she'd consider staying with us."

"Alright, son. But don't get your hopes up. It doesn't look very likely right now," He warned me.

I knew that. I knew that if Bella had a choice, she would leave our home without a second thought and never return. "I'll just have to change her mind."

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Jazz, Em, pause the game. We have to talk."

The two were sitting in Jasper's room, playing some ridiculous mutant-jungle video game.

Emmett continued pressing various buttons on the controller, still dedicated to his video game. "Get a life, Ed."

"Seriously. Guys, it's important," I insisted.

Jasper was completely ignoring me, but Emmett still thought he was cool enough to argue.

"What could be more important than _this_?"

I sighed. "A lot of things, Emmett. Blinking, for one thing," I suggested, seeing that both his and Jasper's eyes were wide, fixated on the game. "Seriously, you guys are going to go blind."

Emmett quickly closed and opened his eyes. "Happy now?" He spat as something exploded on the TV screen. "_Yes_! Take that, you stupid purple monkey!"

I rolled my eyes, and walked over to the front of the TV. I knew they would kill me for this, but I would face the consequences later. I pressed the power button, and the flat screen TV shut off.

Emmett's face hardened, but I wasn't intimidated. I had lived with him long enough to know that he wouldn't hurt a fly.

"Come on. Family meeting in Alice's room," I announced, walking out of the room before I could hear Emmett cursing.

Rose was in Alice's room when we arrived there. They had been debating what to wear to school the next day, and clothing was lying everywhere.

"We all have to talk," I said to Rosalie and Alice, who looked surprised that their lovers and I had so abruptly barged into the room.

Rosalie smiled. "_Ooohhh_, Edward's being all _serious _again," she mocked in a voice several octaves lower than her normal voice.

I ignored her. "You guys, we have to talk about Bella."

Emmett groaned and flopped down on the bed in exaggerated boredom.

I ignored him, too. "You want Bella to be our sister, right?" I asked them.

Everyone was silent for a minute. Finally, Alice spoke up.

"..._Sure_...I mean, I don't see why not," Alice said, although her normally perky tone was bleak.

I sighed, knowing that this would be a tough crowd to please.

"Anyone else?" I hedged, knowing that I wouldn't get many optimistic answers.

They all stared at me with blank faces, and I felt my own face fall.

"_Come_ _on_. I know she's a bit...different--"

"A _bit_?" Rosalie interrupted.

"See, Edward," her twin amended. "It's not that we wouldn't mind another sister. It's just...Bella's so...so..." Jasper broke off, not seeming to find the right adjective.

"_Weird_," Emmett finished for him from his spot on the bed, where he was sprawled out comfortably.

I grew sad. Were my siblings that stuck up that they couldn't give someone a chance? It had only been three days!

"Listen to me for a second," I insisted. "Did you guys hear the bit with Bella and Angela today when they were talking about how Bella apparently went to Forks Elementary in second grade?"

Alice nodded, remembering. "Yeah. Bella kept denying it, which I think is kind of...odd. Don't you think?"

I nodded, raising my eyebrows. "That's my point, Al. I think Bella has lived here before, and for whatever reason she doesn't want anyone to know about it. I want to find out."

Everyone was silent for a moment.

"But don't you think that's invading her privacy?" Jasper questioned. "I mean, if she wanted us to know, she would tell us."

I shook my head. "It's _not_ invading her privacy...it's just, I need answers. I feel bad for Bella and--"

"Whoa!" Emmett interjected. "Eddie-boy's got a soft spot for the emo foster kid!_ Nice_!"

I rolled my eyes. "She's is _not_ emo. And don't call her the _foster kid_. That isn't nice," I told him, preparing to continue with my previous speech.

"Whatever, Ed," Emmett retorted. "_You_ want to play detective, be my guest. But Bella has some _serious_ issues, man. And I don't think investigating into her past will make anything better for anyone. Just let her go, Edward."

I shook my head, impassive. "Anyone _besides_ Emmett care to help me?"

"I _guess_ I will," Alice eventually said. "I mean, Bella and I_ could_ be good friends. If she'd just talk every once in a while, show some sign of being human...well, maybe showing her that she's not alone would help her," she said, her voice still not sounding properly enthusiastic.

I smiled half-heartedly at her. "Thanks, Alice. Rosalie?" I asked, doubtful.

"You seriously think I would waste my time on somebody's who's been about as fun and exciting as a month-old pickle? Think _again,_ Edward," she spat.

That was odd. Of course, I had been expecting her to say no, but I didn't know she had such intense opinions about it. Hadn't I just lectured her and Alice the other day to give Bella a chance? It was if that conversation had never happened.

I sighed. "Alright, fine. Jasper?" His answer, I wasn't so sure about.

He hesitated, running a hand through his blond hair. After a moment, he sighed. "You know I love you, Alice," he began. "And I would do anything for you. But, this...it just doesn't seem _right._ I think this would upset Bella. I wouldn't want to know that whatever unpleasant feelings Bella has after this had been caused by me," he explained, looking apologetically at Alice. I knew that he would do anything for her, and he hated to disagree with her now.

She just smiled, her brown eyes turning soft. "That's okay, Jazz. I still love you."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "So it's just me and Alice then," I clarified.

Emmett nodded. "Now can this stupid family meeting be over with? I'm bored out of my mind," Emmett said, rolling off of Alice's bed.

"Go," I muttered.

I felt kind of defeated, although I was grateful for Alice's willingness to assist me. Alice was more determined than any sibling of mine. Like being set on finding a certain brand of shoes while on a shopping-spree, Alice did not stop until she got what she was looking for.

Emmett quickly stalked out the room, looking anxious to continue whatever moronic video game he had been previously playing. After quickly kissing Alice's cheek, Jasper followed him.

"So, Alice, perhaps you'd like to get started..." I suggested.

"Ugh! Can it _wait_?" Rosalie complained. "I have to find something to wear tomorrow. You can use Alice for your little investigation tomorrow."

I sighed. Both Rose and Alice's closets were better stocked than a designer boutique. The very concept of not finding anything to wear was incomprehensible in the Cullen family—Alice hardly allowed us to wear the same item of clothing twice.

"Fine. Tomorrow, Alice. You promise?" I asked, prepared to hold it against her.

"Yes," she said, turning back to the clothing pile on the bed. "Now, if you're going to wear that blouse tomorrow, then you'll have to wear the right pair of shoes to pull it off..."

I walked out of the room, letting their voices fade behind me.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_**Edward's P.O.V**_. **The next day**

"Where should we start? Alice asked in a hushed tone.

The scene before us was overwhelming. The once seemingly small cafeteria never appeared so big—until now. We gazed out at the sea of students, talking and laughing.

"I suppose anywhere," I guessed.

"You're _sure_ you want to do this, Edward?" Alice questioned, sounding completely unsure herself.

I nodded. "Yes. We have to."

We then split up, as planned. I walked casually to one end of the lunchroom, and Alice the other. We would eventually meet up in the middle, after having a conversation with every three tables.

Every sibling of mine except for Bella knew what we were up to—we had simply explained to them that we had been instructed by a teacher to ask a variety of students their ideas for the school newspaper's headline. Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper had simply waved it off, knowing exactly what our intention really was. Bella had not even looked up from her uneaten ham sandwich.

Lunch was out of the question today, which I didn't mind. This was more important to me then satisfying my human needs.

I casually slid out a chair in the farthest table in the corner—a table constructed of some kids from the school's band, chess team, and science club. I was sure I looked out of place there—not that I was full of it or anything, but most people at our school knew where they stood, and my place, nor was any member of my family's, was not at this table. But if I stuck to the newspaper article facade, I would have an excuse to be sitting there: teacher's orders.

"Hello everyone," I greeted.

They all stared at me in disbelief.

Finally, a girl, seeming awestruch, opened up her metal—filled mouth and smiled shyly. "...Hi...um...Edward..." she giggled.

I sighed, resisting the urge to roll my eyes. "Hi. I was wondering if I could ask you all something," I told them in a normal voice.

A boy wearing an ill-fitting light blue polo and thick glasses squint his eyes. "What kind of question?" He asked in a nasally voice.

"Bella Swan. Is the name familiar to any of you?" I asked, cutting straight to the point.

They all looked at each other for a moment. Three of them shyly shook their heads, and two others muttered the word _no_.

The girl sitting next to me with long, brunette pigtails and buckteeth raised her hand sheepishly.

"You have?" I murmured low enough for only her to hear, feeling confident.

She nodded. "Uh-huh. She was a girl in my second grade class at school. She moved though. In the middle of the year. _Hey_, isn't she staying with your family or something?" she asked me in a similar nasally voice as the boy's.

So my assumption had been right. I wasn't crazy after all. Bella_ was_ trying to keep a secret!

I nodded, still nonchalant. "Yes, she is. Do you know why she left Forks in the first place?" I asked.

She opened her mouth, as if to answer my question, and then shut it again. "Can I know why you want to know this? Why does it matter to you, anyway?"

I was a bit taken back by this girl's remark, but I smiled, hoping my "charm" as Bella had called it, would win her over, like it had Ms. Cope.

"Well, you see, my family is thinking of adopting her," I replied honestly, in the softest voice I could. "And we don't know much about her other then the fact that she used to live here."

"Adopt her?" The girl asked, not seeming to notice my attempt at charming her. "What happened to her dad?"

I nodded, smiling. "See, that is what I'd like to know. Do you know of any reason why Bella might have had to leave, because of her parents?"

The girl shook her head. "No. I mean, she did leave kinda quickly. I remember...well I remember that on her last day, when we all asked her where she was going, she said she didn't know. I know that she used to talk to this one girl a lot...Abigail or something like that. Brown eyes and hair...maybe she would know more about it," the girl offered.

I knew she was talking about Angela right away, but I knew that if I wanted to find anything out, I would have to avoid speaking to Angela. As far as she knew, she had confused Bella for someone else.

But the good news was; now I knew for certain that _Bella_, the very Bella staying in our home, was indeed Angela's old best friend. Bella was trying to hide something.

"Thank you very much for your time," I told the girl, feeling too much like a real detective now, as Emmett had called it. I stood up, and turned to leave, but then I remembered something.

"Oh, and please," I said, bending over so I could be uncomfortably close to the girls' face, and her buckteeth snapped loudly together. "Don't mention this to anyone. It'll be our secret."

It took her a moment, but then she nodded, and giggled.

This was the way things carried on for the remainder of the period. I didn't have to "charm" too many girls, and most of the boys gave me little answers, not really caring. Those who did remember the second grade version of Bella told me their perspective of the day Bella left identical to the pig-tail girl had.

I met up with Alice five minutes before the lunch period ended.

"So?" I asked, anxious, as we started out of the lunchroom, so we could talk privately. "Anything?"

She shrugged. "Mostly everyone who remembered her said that she left one day, and they didn't know why. Some directed me to go to Angela Weber, because they dimly remembered her being Bella's best friend at the time. So, we're back to where we started, Edward. The only difference now is that more people know about it. We're spreading _rumors_. This isn't helping anything." She sighed as we turned down the hallway.

"You told the people to keep quiet, _didn't_ you?" I asked her, crossing my fingers.

"Of course. But that doesn't mean they will."

I sighed a breath of relief. "But they won't. People have better things to do than to talk about Bella's mysterious disappearance, I'm sure."

"I hope so," Alice murmured as the lunch bell rang.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

**_Edward's P.O.V_**. **After school**

I let my heavy backpack fall to the floor with a loud _thud_, and flopped down on my bed. My radio was still playing, since I left it on this morning. I had homework to do and unfinished chores waiting for me downstairs, and I knew Esme wouldn't be happy if I left either of them undone. I thought about getting up to complete one of the mandatory tasks.

I thought about it, but I didn't get up.

Bella had gone straight to her room after school, naturally. She hadn't spoken a word in the car ride home, which was normal. She had simply stared at her hands the whole time.

Oh, how I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her and demand what was wrong with her! How could anyone live such a quiet life, and refuse human contact? Bella was sure she didn't need help, but she cried every night in her room!

Why was I letting this girl get to me, anyway? Besides the fact that I've had a few heated discussions with her, and I've been losing sleep due to her cries at night, why should I let this girl bother me? Even if she had lived here before, would it kill her to talk about it? Keeping things inside never helped, I knew. I learned that when I tried to avoid talking about my parents death. I was twelve years old, and there had been a terrible car accident that I had been lucky enough to survive. My parents, Elizabeth and Edward, hadn't made it. I kept my sadness and anger bottled up for months, until I met Carlisle. He brought me to his family who lived in Denali, Alaska at the time. They greeted me with kindness and love, especially his wife, Esme. It helped that all of the other siblings, Jasper, Rosalie and Alice, had been foster children too, so I wasn't alone. Emmett hadn't been in the picture yet. I caved within the first day of my stay. I told them everything—the fateful crash, how much I had loved my parents and how much I would miss them. My new family comforted me, and helped me get past it.

They could help Bella, too, if she would only let them.

Emmett arrived a year after me, and he had been enthusiastic to stay with the Cullen family. His parents had passed away when he was an infant, and his grandmother had raised him until she passed away. He had despised living with his grandma—she had been mean, old and wrinkly, as Emmett had described to us.

The same went with Japer and Rosalie, the first of Carlisle and Esme's adopted children. The twins had only been five when they were adopted. Their mother hadn't been healthy enough to raise them, nor did she have the money. Their father had left them before they were born. The twins, too, had a happy arrival to the family.

As did Alice. Her parents had left her in a house and never returned when Alice was seven. Alice didn't remember her life before the Cullens very well, and had been thrilled to be adopted after four years of foster homes.

Bella could easily accept us. We had to be so different from her past foster families. We had experience, and we knew how hard it could be. Why couldn't Bella open her brown eyes and see that we want to help her? She couldn't look past her fear of anyone finding out her secret? Why didn't she just—

"Edward?"

I sat up in bed, straightening up. "Come in, Rose."

Rosalie opened the door and shut it quietly behind her. "I have to talk to you," she whispered.

She was whispering. It had to be about Bella, then, since Bella would probably hear us from the other side of the door.

"What is it, Rosalie?"

She walked in and sat down on the bed next to me. "I found out something about Bella today," she murmured.

"I thought you didn't want anything to do with her," I accused.

She nodded. "I didn't. But just listen to me. I'm trying to help you," she whispered. "Peter McDonald came up to me today after English. He said that Alice told his table that we were thinking about adopting Bella."

I waited. "And..." I urged.

"Well, he didn't know much about her, but there was something he had forgotten to tell Alice. I guess that the Swans had some family friends in La Push. Billy Black and their son Jacob. I guess Billy's the one who brought Bella home from school on her last day in second grade...I don't know. Peter said maybe they'd know something about Bella."

I stared at her, trying to process the information.

"Edward..." Rosalie murmured, waving her hand in front of my eyes.

"Thanks Rose," I said.

"Yeah. Well, I hope you don't get too over excited or anything. Even if you knew everything, that doesn't mean that Bella's going to want to be with us. You really shouldn't go around telling people that we might adopt her," Rosalie whispered, getting up from the bed.

I ignored that comment. "Okay, Rose. Thanks."

I started making plans for tomorrow. I would have to drive separately from my siblings, if I planned on making a side-trip after school. I would also have to find a phone book or something, so I could get the Black's address.

I would find out about Bella. I had to.

**A/N: Okay so that wasn't the most exciting chapter but please review anyway! Next chapter will be Edward and Bella's P.O.V. and you'll find out a lot of stuff. And I know Edward seems a little obsessive about finding out stuff about Bella...but this story isn't labled angst/ROMANCE for nothing...so yeah REVIEW please!!**


	5. The Truth

**Chapter Four**

**_Bella's P.O.V._**

After only having been attending Forks High School for three days I already had a truckload of homework. Not that I wasn't capable of doing it—I had straight A's at every school I'd gone to, and there was no reason why Forks would be any different. But actually doing the homework only dulled my pointless existence all the more. Well, the bright side was (and trust me, there was hardly any bright sides to my life right now) that all the assignments were at least a good distraction. For about two and a half hours every night from this night forward, I would have an excuse not to think about anything but dividing equalities and biodiversity.

I dumped all the oversized text books and barley used spiral notebooks out of my backpack that Esme had given to me after realizing I had attended my first and second day at school without one. I'd learned quickly that Esme was the most loving, compassionate, mother-like figure I would probably ever have, which only made me even more disgusted. I didn't need her constantly asking what my favorite breakfast foods were so she could prepare them for me before we all left for school or always offering her help while I was doing my homework. Most of my past foster mothers had simply let me do my own thing. They left me to suffer through the six months in peace. It seemed twisted that Esme was doing just the opposite and the outcome was not beneficial for me.

I hadn't spoken a word to Edward since our conversation in the hallway two days ago, on Monday. We were now masters at avoiding each other. We never held eye contact—as mesmerizing as his emerald eyes were, I forced myself to focus on other things in his presence. I knew he heard me cry every night. I had attempted to stifle the ridiculously loud sobs last night, but with no avail. My pain was too strong. Time couldn't diminish my agony any less then it was the very first time my father laid his big, cold, dirty hands on me. I kept tall, solid, brick walls up around myself during the day, but by the time I crawled under the covers of my too-comfortable bed, the walls fell down, leaving me defenceless; forced to wallow in the unbearable anguish that I carried with me.

Edward knew this—my sobs practically screamed "I'm being tortured!"—but after our encounter that first night, he let me bask alone in my never-ending hopelessness.

Another bright side to my life—one of the very few—was returning home after school. On top of all the sadness—there was fear. Fear that someone would recognize me to be Bella Swan, the girl who mysteriously disappeared in the second grade. I recognized all of the children who I had been in Mrs. Jory's class with, and I was terrified that it was only a matter of time before they started speaking up. Why hadn't they already? I didn't know. I mean, what were the odds that two different Isabellas with brown hair and eyes showed up in the same town within a ten year period of time? Certainly the kids at high school would remember me from the very first second they laid eyes on me. Perhaps they were intimidated by the 'new girl' or just didn't care enough to mention anything. I hoped and prayed that this was the case. But still, one would think that at least _one_ of the students—besides Angela Weber—would say something. So, returning home from school meant another day had gone by when nobody had recognized me.

_Angela Weber_. I could hardly believe I had told her everything. She knew everything, which meant she could easily tell the Cullens at her own free will. I just hoped that the fact that we had been best friends as children still meant something to her. After all, friends kept secrets, didn't they?

But, if only one person knew meant that no one else would know, I could live with that. I would live with that, and be grateful.

I turned to the mountain of homework that was laid before me on the bed. I sighed, and picked up my biology book and spiral and got to work.

_**Edward's P.O.V.**_

Taking a separate car from my siblings had been a good idea. I didn't want to waste anytime dropping them all off at home and then driving the full half hour to La Push. They had questioned where I was going, and I simply told them I had a few errands to run. Everyone didn't seem to care, and even if Rosalie was suspicious of where I was going, she didn't show it. Of course, she didn't care about Bella enough to care, and she probably thought that I was a lunatic for caring.

I knew exactly where I was going. I had found a local phone book with residents phone numbers and addresses in them. I didn't bother calling the Blacks. I didn't assume they would mind a surprise visitor.

I had never really ventured into La Push since I moved here two years ago. I had never had a reason to, until now. I really hoped that Rosalie had been right, and they did know a little more about Bella than anyone else. I crossed my fingers as I pulled into the gravel driveway of the address that matched the one I had written on a note card. I got out of the car, and went up the porch steps that led the front door of the tiny house. I rang the door bell, and waited anxiously.

After a few seconds, a boy with dark skin and long, black hair opened the door. I figured this was Jacob, Billy Black's son. He looked about my age.

"Hello. My name is Edward Cullen," I greeted casually.

"Hey," he said.

"Jacob Black, right?"

He nodded in confirmation.

"I was wondering if you could help me," I inquired. "It's kind of important."

He thought for a second, and then shrugged. "Sure. Come on in, Edward," he told me, swinging the door open wider for me to enter.

"Thanks," I said, stepping out of the cold and into the warm house.

"Jacob, who's at the door?" I heard a voice ask from another room. The voice sounded older, and I automatically assumed that to be the voice of Billy Black.

"Uh, Edward Cullen, Dad," Jacob called back.

I heard a brief clanging sound, and then Billy was rolling his wheelchair down the hallway, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Hello, sir," I said, walking over to him and shaking his hand. "My name is Edward. I was wondering if you and your son could help me with something."

He knit his eyebrows. "We'll do what we can," he remarked. "What is it you need, Edward? You selling something?" He teased.

I shook my head, smiling a little. "No, sir."

He smiled. "Call me Billy."

I nodded. "No, Billy." My smile then faded. I took a deep breath. "Does the name _Isabella Swan_ sound at all familiar to either of you?"

They were both silent for a moment, staring at me in shock. Now I knew that Rosalie had been right.

"Yes, it does," Billy muttered after a moment. "Who are you, son?"

I sighed. "I'm Bella's foster brother for the time being," I told them.

"Her _foster sister_?" Jacob breathed.

Hmm. The name _foster sister_ didn't seem to fit Bella. She didn't seem like my sister at all. I couldn't determine whether that was a good or bad thing.

"Yes," I said. "And I was wondering if you knew anything about her. I have a few questions."

"We do," Billy confirmed, his features still masked in disbelief. "Uh, why don't you come sit in the living room?"

I followed behind Billy's wheelchair down the narrow hallway with low ceilings into the tiny living room. I could hear Jacob behind me.

Billy gestured for me to sit on the couch, and he parked his wheelchair in front of the coffee table between us. Jacob took a seat in the lumpy chair next to the couch.

"Do you live in Forks, Edward?" Billy asked, saying each word slowly. I could tell he was surprised.

"Yes, sir, I do."

"Bella's in_ Forks_?" Jacob breathed. "I can't believe it! After all this time..." He broke off.

"You were close with the Swans." I said. It was not a question, but a statement.

Billy nodded. "Renee and Charlie and Bella...they were like family."

"Can you tell me anything that you know about why Bella was put into foster care when she was seven?" I asked, anxious.

"Anything we know?" Billy asked, chuckling humourlessly. "We know _everything_."

I stared at him, waiting.

"We were there," Jacob told me.

I didn't quite feel like doing a victory dance, but I did feel relieved now that I was about to get answers.

"Please, I have to know," I explained. You see, Bella's been in foster homes for the past ten years. I've learned that she's looking forward to turning eighteen so she can live on her own, but I don't want her to be without a family. I think it would help if I knew more about her past, but she refuses to talk about it. My parents are desperate to help her, but she rejects it. Perhaps you could tell me about her past so we could help," I explained. So, it was a little straight out and honest, but I figured that if I wanted them to be honest with me, I should be honest with them.

Billy nodded. "Poor girl. Bella was always such a nice girl...she never deserved any of this. Ten years of foster homes? Really?" Billy asked in disbelief.

I nodded. "Yes, sir. And we're hoping to adopt her, but she doesn't seem to want any part of it. She cries a lot...and someone at school mentioned that her father had gone to jail..." I trailed off.

"_That's stupid son of a_--" Jacob began, his russet skin red with anger.

"Jacob, Jacob. Come on. None a'that." Billy chastised. Then he turned to me. "We'll tell you everything, seeing that you're putting forth a great effort to help Bella. But, as you might imagine, we have some...biased feelings for her father. I'm sure you'll agree with us after hearing what happened," Billy explained, his eyes tightened. He paused for a moment, and then sighed. "The Swans were a nice family, real nice. Charlie was the police chief down in Forks, and Renee stayed at home to take care of Bella. Charlie was my best friend—he was a real good man. Charlie and Renee were young when Bella was born, and Charlie once told me that they hadn't planned on having a kid. It was very unexpected, but they seemed to love her just as much as any other parent loved their daughter." He hesitated, and sighed again. "When Bella was four, Renee left. She told Charlie that she had planned on waiting until Bella was old enough to have some memory of her mom before she left. She didn't like the small town life...so she just up and left.

"Broke Charlie's heart. He was devastated, but he couldn't go after her because of Bella. She was still a toddler..." Billy's eyes were over a decade away.

"I didn't find this out till later, when he was arrested, but soon after Renee left he started drinking a lot," Billy continued. "I remember I would go over to his house after work to watch a baseball game, and he would usually have a twelve pack sitting by the couch. I usually had no more than one, but he shocked me a few times by chugging down three or four during one game...it scared me a little, and I was worried for Bella, but I never made an effort to do anything about it like I should have." Billy shook his head regretfully.

"Jacob here was good friends with Bella. They would play out in the backyard, make mud-pies. A year after Renee left, Charlie started working later at the station, so I picked Bella up from school most days. I wasn't in this dumb chair back then, you know. And, every once in a while, I would notice these strange bruises on Bella. I knew the girl had two left feet, but these bruises started to come more and more frequently as time went on. She had cuts, too. I once asked Charlie what they were from, and he just blamed her clumsiness. But I always had that gut-feeling that it was something more...

"Well, this kept happening, and I knew something was up eventually. By the time Bella was in second grade, I was already in the wheelchair. Jacob was seven, too. I was almost certain Charlie was abusing Bella, but since he was my friend, I didn't want to think that...but it was probably one of the worst mistakes I've ever made.

"After a while, Charlie started making excuses not to watch the game with us anymore. He would say he was taking Bella out to dinner, or had to work overtime. After a few weeks, I started getting nervous for Bella. I got fed up one day, so Jacob and I went to Charlie's to see what was going on, and when we knocked on the door no one answered. So, we walked in, since the door was unlocked. The first thing we saw was...destruction. The furniture was overturned and broken, and Charlie was passed out on the couch—the only thing still standing. He was drunk, and probably having the worst hangover of his life. There were empty beer cans everywhere...

"And we heard Bella crying upstairs. Jacob ran up to her, since I couldn't. When he came back down, he said that Bella was bleeding. A lot. I called the cops and I can't tell you how surprised I was to hear that there was some trouble down at the chief's place. But when they came, they woke up Charlie and got Bella from upstairs. When they brought her back down...well, it's definitely a sight I'll never forget. She had been beaten pretty badly. She had cuts and bruises everywhere. But the oddest thing was the gash on her arm...it was shaped like half a circle and looked like it was a few days old, and it was badly infected. She said that Charlie threw glass at her and a big piece got stuck in her arm, and she had pulled it out. As the cops started to drag Charlie to the police car, he started swearing at the top of his lungs at Bella, telling her that she would pay for telling someone. He didn't know that she had never told anyone; we had found it out on our own. Charlie was charged for child abuse and neglect, and was sent to jail.

"Bella stayed with us that night, and I got a got a neighbor to drive her to school the next day. She got picked up by child services after school, and that morning was the last time I ever saw her."

All was silent. I stared at Billy in shock and disbelief. How could anyone be that cruel to another human being? It didn't seem real—like I had just read a scary story or had a bad dream. This couldn't have happened. What father would do that to their child? How could anyone ever do that? How could any parent be so ruthless to their own flesh and blood? It didn't make sense. None of this did. It couldn't be real.

But it was. Because every word of Billy's rang in truth and sincerity. Yes, there was such a thing as a monster parent. One had existed in Forks so many years ago.

Then, I thought of Bella. A sweet, innocent little girl being hit by her own father. Her begging him to stop in a weak voice, and him showing no mercy. No wonder she cried every night! It was making sense, now. The puzzle pieces were clicking together. With the realization came heartbreak. I had been so harsh with Bella earlier. I had accused her of not wanting help. I had blamed her of being independent and pigheaded, practically. I was a horrible person! I knew apologizing would do nothing for her. She would never know how sorry I was. I should have let her be. Instead, I pried and pried and now I was here. Sitting in a stranger's house as he told me what seemed to be a horror story, but what was Bella's life.

"Thank you, Billy," I mumbled almost incoherently as I stumbled out of the Black's home with a lump in my throat.

**A/N: Well, now you know. Bella lived a horrible life and that explains why she's so quiet and to herself. I know this was a short chapter but I swear the next one will be a lot longer. I'm out of town right now, and so I might start on Chapter 5. Since I don't have internet, I will hopefully be able to post the two chapters at the same time when I get home. In the mean time, review!!!!!!!!!!!**


	6. Revelation

**Chapter Five**

**_Bella's P.O.V._**

**One week later**

"Class, your poster presentations are due tomorrow the minute the bell rings. For those of you who haven't finished, I suggest you stay after school, perhaps in the library to complete your assignment," Mr. Mason announced.

I groaned silently. The last thing I wanted to do was stay longer in this dreadful building with Mike Newton. We had been lucky enough to have been paired up as partners for the poster project, and he was obviously thrilled to be in my presence. However, the feeling was not mutual—at all.

The last bell rang, and instead of darting out the door like I normally did, I walked across the room to where Alice was gathering her books. She and her partner must have already finished.

"Well," I sighed. "I guess I'll see you later. Just...tell Esme I'll be home before dinner."

Alice smiled at me apologetically. "Sorry. Call us when you're done; someone will pick you up."

"I don't have a phone," I reminded her, and I wondered briefly if I was talking to Alice just to stall. I could almost see Mike behind me, waiting at the door anxiously.

"Oh, well, here," she said, slipping out a silver cell phone from her pocket and handing it to me at waist-length so Mr. Mason wouldn't see. "Take mine."

I wanted to tell her it wasn't necessary, I could walk, but it wasn't worth the argument.

"Thanks," I muttered, slipping it into my own pocket.

"See ya," she said, and her pixie face smiled before she strode gracefully out of the room.I sighed, and unwillingly turned around and walked towards Mike.

"The Library?" He asked, smiling ridiculously.

I sighed. "Sure."

I didn't know why Mike was so drawn to me. I never talked to him, just as I never talked to anyone else at this school besides my foster siblings, although that didn't occur often.

We walked into the school's library, and sat at one of the empty tables. We spread out all of our materials on the table and got to work.

Mike tried to make small talk as we worked, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes each time.

"So you're staying with the Cullens, eh?" Mike asked.

"Yes," I replied as I glued a picture of Shakespeare onto our poster.

"So, how are they treating you?" He asked, not working, but looking at me.

"Good," I muttered, not looking up at him.

"Emmett didn't beat you up yet, did he?" He laughed at his own joke.

"No." I didn't laugh.

He was silent after that.

After about two hours or so, we had finally finished. I was glad to see that we were one of the first ones; there were other people who still were in the research phase of their project.

I went to my locker and packed my backpack, grateful to be away from Mike. I remembered Alice's cell phone in my pocket, but I decided that the walk wouldn't be that bad. I didn't need this family's help; I was perfectly capable of walking.

I started walking in the slushy, dirty snow. I was thankful that I wore boots today, and my parka. It was definitely cold, and I was still trying to adjust to it after having lived in the Menser house for a few days in Arizona.

Today was day ten of my stay in Forks. Only one hundred seventy more days to go. Great.

"_Hey, Bella! Wait up_!" I heard a familiar, immensely annoying voice behind me.

I kept walking, pretending not to have heard him.

"Bella! Hey! Hold up a sec!" Mike called again.

I cringed, and pivoted in the snow. Mike was practically sprinting through the snow to catch up to me.

"Hey, Bella! I didn't know you walked home!" He seemed pleased.

I raised my eyebrows. "Yeah..."

I started walking again, and he walked with me. "I think walking is good. It's really great exercise. It's good for the environment, too. You know, the car fumes and all that aren't good for the air. I think more people should walk to and from school. What do you think?" He asked.

"Yeah," I muttered again.

"So," Mike continued. "I'm glad we finished our project. I thought it was going to take forever, but it didn't. You're a fast worker. I don't think I would have finished it on time if you hadn't been my partner," he babbled.

_That's because I basically did our whole project myself_, I wanted to say.

"Yeah."

We continued to walk for a few minutes, and I was relieved that Mike seemed to have run out of things to babble about.

Well, I was wishfully thinking.

"_So,_ you know, the winter dance is coming up in a few days and I was wondering if...well..._you know_...I don't have anyone to go with and..._well_, I was thinking since you were new and stuff _maybe_...I could...you know...since I'm sure you don't know many people yet, I think it would be a good idea if I--"

**HONK!!**

I whisked my head towards the street wear the car horn just went off.

I recognized the sleek, shiny, silver Volvo almost immediately. I also recognized the driver—I could see the outline of the unruly hair through the dark tint of the windows.

It was my choice now. Did I want to be annoyed to death by my poster presentation partner, or lectured by the stupid, shiny, silver Volvo owner?

I chose option two.

"See you around, Mike," I exclaimed before he could continue on with his previous invitation to the dance that I would rather die than go to with him.

I stumbled through the snow and across the street, and after kicking the snow out of my boots, I opened the door and slid into the warm car.

"Hello, Bella," Edward greeted.

"Hi. Thanks," I said, actually grateful for his timing.

"No problem," he said. "You didn't look like you were having an interesting conversation with Newton, and I felt kind of bad for you," he told me.

I smiled half-heartedly. "Yeah, thanks."

"Sure."

He drove off in silence. When we came to the intersection that would lead to the opening in the woods where they lived, he turned to look at me.

"Well, I bet Esme's already started dinner. Do you want to go to Port Angeles to eat? There's this new place there I'd like to try. I can text Emmett so they know where we've gone," Edward told me, hopeful.

I cringed mentally. No, I didn't not want to go with him at all. But the question was, why did he want to go with _me_? I quickly tried to think of an excuse—too much homework, wanting to get home to catch something on T.V, but I was the world's worst liar when it came to making excuses up on the spot. I had simply gotten lucky with the Angela incident.

"Um...sure," I muttered, defenceless.

He smiled a little bit, and turned the opposite direction in the intersection of the forest's entryway.

Edward drove as fast, if not faster than Emmett. Although, driving in Edward's smaller, normal car felt a little safer than driving in Emmett's monster truck. We sped through the slush and out of Forks. We drove in silence for the most part. Edward asked me how the English project had gone, and I lied by telling him that it had gone well.

The whole time, I could hardly comprehend what I was doing. I should have demanded that he took me home so many times, but I never did. My emotional self-preservation was lying in shreds.

The ride to the restaurant in Port Angeles didn't take as long as it did to get to the airport. Edward, thinking he was being polite, came around from his side to open the passenger door for me, and let me go up the porch steps to the restaurant first.

The hostess gave us a table towards the back of the place, and I couldn't be sure if I was pleased or annoyed by that.

"Hi!" the young waitress said cheerily. "Welcome to La Bella Italia. My name's Amber. What can I get you to drink?" She asked, speaking only to Edward.

"I'll have a coke, please," he said in a quiet voice.

Then he looked at me.

"Um, I'll have a coke, too," I said.

The waitress didn't even look at me, she simply scratched down our orders on her notepad.

"Okay! I'll be right back with that." And then she bounced off to the kitchen.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

"So..." Edward began, seeming not to notice anything.

He didn't say anything afterwards.

Like an idiot, I remained quiet.

He looked around the room for a moment, then back at me. "So, Bella. How are you?"

I rolled my eyes. "There you go again, thinking you're my _therapist_ or something," I blurted out without thinking. I regretted it right away.

He squint his eyes. "No, I wasn't thinking that. I'm just asking, Bella."

I took a deep breath, wanting to kick myself. "Well, I'm fine." I glared at him. "How are you?" I added with a huff.

Edward chuckled. "Good."

I rolled my eyes again.

"You're usually not this..._stubborn_ at home," he pointed out.

He was right. For whatever reason, I only showed emotion around Edward. I was an empty shell by everyone else. But I couldn't help it! Edward was just so _annoying._

"Hmm," was the only thing I could think to say.

He chuckled again. "Do you want to tell me why that is?"

I shrugged, trying to act casual. "Your guess is as good as mine," I told him, sarcasm evident in my voice.

Why was I doing this? Why couldn't I just shut up?

The waitress had arrived with our drinks.

"Here you are," she said, setting the two drinks on the table, but looking at Edward. "Are you ready to order?" She asked him.

Edward looked at me. "Bella?"

I quickly looked at the menu, not feeling particularly hungry. I ordered the first thing I saw.

"Um, I'll have the mushroom ravioli."

The waitress scratched down my order without looking at me, once again.

"And you?" She asked Edward eagerly.

"Spaghetti, please," he told her.

She smiled. "Alright." Then she took our menus, and I didn't miss that she lingered at the table longer than necessary.

Edward ignored her.

I started sipping my soda nervously.

"Look, Bella," he said, all traces of humor gone. "I didn't ask you to come with me so I could argue with you again like on Monday," he told me quietly. "I do, however, want to apologize for that day. It was very rude and inconsiderate of me to judge you so quickly. Can you forgive me?" He asked, his emerald eyes soft and hopeful.

_Great_.

If I didn't forgive him, then I would be the jerk, the smaller person, whatever you wanted to call it.

"Yeah, um, I mean, its okay," I stammered.

He smiled. "Thank you."

Now what should I say? Well, as long as this night was sure to be a disaster, I might as well get through it thoroughly.

"Well," I took a deep breath, feeling as if I was having a nightmare. "I'm sorry if I offended you or anything that day."

He remained smiling. "You didn't. I was just worried about you."

I sighed. "_Okay_, please, stop. I don't want anyone to waste their time worrying about me. Will you tell your family not to worry, for me?" I asked.

Edward thought for a moment. "...No. I think_ you_ should tell them."

"_What_?" I questioned.

"You should tell them, but only if you feel that there isn't a reason for them to be worried. Honestly, Bella, from what I've seen, they _do_ have a reason."

I glared at him in disbelief. "W-well...then, never mind then."

Edward sighed. "Alright," he murmured, giving up.

I stared at my hands that were on my lap, feeling ridiculous.

"So, what were you and Newton talking about before I came?" He asked abruptly.

"Um, he was going on about how walking is good for people...and the earth."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"And, um, he wanted, well, he tried to ask me to the winter dance," I said, shaking my head in disgust.

Edward laughed. "And what did you say to him?"

"Well, you pulled up just in time."

Edward smiled. "Today must be your lucky day or something."

I raised my eyebrows at the impossibility of that concept.

"Well, what if I hadn't driven up just in time? What would you have said to him?" Edward asked.

I shrugged. "Oh, I would have made up some excuse to miss it." I paused. "Or I would just gently break his heart," I added, and I couldn't help but smile.

Edward laughed at my comment. "Well, what if someone else asked you? Someone you would actually consider going with?"

I raised my eyebrows yet again at the impossibility.

"I don't think there's anyone in particular I would have felt a need to go with," I told him.

"Well, let's just say there_ was_ someone," Edward pressed, clearly teasing now.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I would have said yes, but then faked a sprained ankle or something."

Edward knit his eyebrows. "Why?"

I chuckled. "You're not in my gym class. You don't know the fact that I have two left feet."

Yes, gym class was not my friend. I could hardly walk across a flat surface without tripping over myself, let alone catching a ball or shooting it into a hoop. This also meant I couldn't dance. At all.

Edward nodded. "Oh, I see."

I couldn't believe I was actually talking to Edward. He'd seen me cry, and angry, and stubborn. I'd vowed to avoid him for the next six months, and here I was, alone at a restaurant having a conversation with him.

"What about you?" I asked, ignoring the little voice inside my head demanding that I stopped talking. "Are you going with anyone?"

Edward shook his head. "No."

I raised my eyebrows. "Don't tell me you're a klutz, too?"

He didn't seem like he could be one. He was very tall and somewhat lanky, but still strong-looking.

He chuckled. "No, no. I'm just...not into all the school dances and all. Kind of a waste of time."

I smiled. "I agree." Wow. We had something in common.

"Alright, here we are," the waitress said as she slid the plates onto the table. She then smiled at Edward. "Is there anything else I can get for you?"

Edward looked at me, and then at my half-empty glass. "Some more soda for her would be nice," he said, smiling briefly at her.

She stared at him for a moment, and then nodded. "S-sure. I'll refill it..." And she took my cup and scurried to the kitchen.

I stared at Edward in disbelief, while he stared at me questioningly until Amber came back with my drink.

"Here you are," she said to me.

"Thank you," Edward murmured for me.

I waited until she was out of hearing range to talk. "Why did you _do_ that to her?"

He looked confused. "Do what?"

"_Dazzle_ her like that. First Ms. Cope, and now her?" I questioned.

He chuckled. "Do I dazzle you?"

Oh, crap. "Um, no. I just notice that you dazzle women to get what you want."

He smiled. "Do you think I _could_ ever dazzle you?"

Of course he could. Although, he would only do it so I would tell him about my past, or why I cried every night, or why I isolated myself from the majority of humanity. "No. I don't get distracted that easily." I felt my face blush.

His face fell in mock disappointment. "Oh _man_!"

I laughed, and started to eat my food, now hungry.

"Bella," Edward said after a moment, his tone suddenly soft.

I looked up with food stuffed in my mouth, and I was sure I looked like a squirrel storing food for the winter. "_Yes_?" I asked, my voice muffled.

He laughed. "Look at you. You're laughing." He seemed pleased.

I was laughing; in spite of the fact my cheeks were three times their normal sizes. "Hmm," I said when I had swallowed my food. "I guess I am."

"It's good to hear you laugh. You don't do it very often."

I shrugged. "Guess not."

Edward grinned crookedly.

I still felt like I was dreaming. Not quite a nightmare, but not a sweet dream either. Edward didn't seem like Edward. It was like meeting a new person. Or maybe, I was the new person. I had never had this much a normal conversation with anyone before. I talked so rarely that I often forgot what my real voice sounded like. So laughing, too, was new to me at the moment.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. We were almost done with our food before I started talking again. I had spent the whole time trying to think of something as an icebreaker, and more importantly, something that would get him talking rather than me. And, I had also been wondering why all of the Cullen siblings would agree to go through with it after all of their foster homes, if they even had any. I was curious.

"So your siblings are adopted?" I asked Edward.

He nodded. "Yes. All of us are."

"Did Carlisle and Esme adopt you all at the same time?"

"No," he said, running a hand through his bronze, unruly hair. "Jasper and Rosalie, the twins, were the first to come when they were five. Alice followed when she was eleven, and I came a year later. Esme always made sure to adopt children the same age, so nobody would be too lonely. Emmett was the last one to come about four years ago; as you can imagine he's gotten quite..._comfortable_ with us."

I chuckled.

"Are you ready for the check?" Amber asked, having appeared out of nowhere.

"Yes, thank you," Edward said as he reached for the little black folder that held the check. I would have offered to pay or split the bill with him, but I didn't have any money to my name.

Edward filled out the check, and handed it back to her.

"Thank you for coming," Amber said as bubbly as ever. "Come again soon!" She chirped.

"Thanks," I muttered.

She didn't hear me; she just continued to smile at Edward.

"Thank you," he said, and started to walk out of the restaurant. I followed behind him.

Edward opened my door for me again, and closed it for me before sliding into his own seat. He started the engine, and we drove off.

We were both silent for a few minutes. I gripped the sides of my leather seat tightly, afraid of the fast moving vehicle.

It was dark outside, and I was sure the silver car looked like a bullet in the night as it flew down the narrow streets of Port Angeles.

I heard Edward sigh next to me after a few minutes. "Bella, can we talk?" He asked in a voice so soft and quiet that it blended in with the darkness.

I shrugged. "Well, I guess since I'm on a roll tonight, sure."

He hesitated, and I saw him grip the sides of the steering wheel tightly. "...I want to begin by telling you that I'm sorry."

Again? I knit my eyebrows.

"I know you'll probably be mad at me, or sad, even, since I brought it up. But you have you know that...I couldn't stand the fact that you were always so...so unhappy. I thought it was pretty annoying at first, to be honest. How could anyone be so depressed and sorrowful? But I don't think that anymore. Now, I...I know why."

What was he talking about? "Edward, I don't understand."

He sighed again. "I know everything, Bella," he murmured. "I know about your parents, your old life in Forks, everything. It was Billy Black who told me. Your old family friends."

A long, deafening pause of silence filled the car. I couldn't form a coherent thought. "_I. Don't. Understand_," were the only words that came out of my clenched teeth.

"I'm...so sorry, Bella. I can't believe that someone could be so cruel to their own daughter! If I had only known...you should have told me. I'm so sorry, Bella. That had to have been horrible for you to have gone through. You should have told Carlisle and--"

I could feel my face getting hot. "You. Know. _Everything_." I growled through my teeth.

He didn't say anything, obviously not wanting to upset me. He didn't have any idea how far past _upset_ I was.

I could feel my body shaking, and my hands that had once been clutched the seat for my life now were balled up into fists. I could feel my knuckles ache in protest.

"You shouldn't have done that, Edward," I hissed.

"I didn't know what else to do, Bella. You were always so sad and I couldn't stand it anymore," he defended himself.

I whisked my head in his direction, my eyes wide. "You didn't_ have_ to do anything," I groaned. "I never asked you to."

"I know you didn't, Bella. But it isn't good to keep things like this bottled up. Trust me—I've tried. And it doesn't—"

"_You've_ tried!" I interrupted him. "So, what, your father _abused_ you as a child? Right." I remarked, a hint of hysteria in my voice.

"No. But when my parents died, I didn't want to talk to anybody about it. But it was unhealthy for me—and I knew that whatever was bothering you must have been bothering you for a long time. And then when I found out that it was ten years ago..." He trailed off, shaking his head regretfully.

"Edward, I'm _fine_! I don't _need_ you prying into my _life_ because you couldn't _take it_ anymore!" I practically yelled.

"Bella, I--"

"No! _No_, Edward." I sighed, now even more disgusted at the angry moisture forming in my eyes.

He took a deep breath, and was silent.

The rest of the ride passed slowly, almost endlessly. I had ignored my fear of fast driving. I had a new fear now. A fear I'd been expecting, but not this night, that had seemed to go by without any bad things. Of course, _nothing_ in my life happened without peril.

We pulled up in front of the Cullen's house after what seemed like several lifetimes. Edward pulled into the garage, and I opened the passenger door myself the second the engine clicked off."Bella," Edward called before I could slam the door and trudge inside.

I froze angrily, and turned around to face him on the opposite side of the car.

"What?!"

He sighed, his face looking innocent. "I was only trying to help you. I want you to know that." His voice was strained.

I grimaced. "I don't need your help. I don't need _anyone's_ help."

Edward glared back at me, now surprisingly angry. "I'm just trying to be your friend, Bella. You've been through a lot, and I think you need a friend more then you know."

"I would never be friends with someone who feels the need to _interfere_ in my business after I made it pretty clear that I didn't _want _you to!"

I hesitated, wondering if my next comment would be too harsh or overdramatic. Oh, what was the point? I was raging in fury already. And it's not like anything could get any worse.

"I hate you, Edward Cullen."

**A/N: Wow. A little soap operaish, I think. Please please please review!!!!**


	7. Complications

**Chapter Six**

**_Edward's P.O.V._**

_"I hate you, Edward Cullen."_

The words were sharp and clear. It took me a second to allow the words to process through my brain for them to make sense. Bella _hated _me. I had tried to help her, yet she hated me. Was this girl that incapable of accepting anything from others? I couldn't believe it. Bella hated me.

She slammed the door with a loud bang, and for one wild second I feared that the glass car window would shatter from the impact. She didn't look at me as she trudged out of the garage, her hands clenched into fists. She stomped up the porch steps, swung open the front door, and closed it--luckily not as loudly as before.

With my heart practically pounding out of my chest, I silently closed the car door, and followed Bella's path inside the house.

Carlisle and Esme were waiting at the front door, their eyes filled with confusion. They had probably just witnessed Bella's dramatic entrance, and were wondering why. Of course, they would expect an answer out of me. What had happened that made Bella so angry?

But I couldn't tell them. Of course, Bella couldn't hate me anymore then she did now, but I know that telling my parents her story would push her off the edge of the cliff that she seemed to be dangling over. I couldn't do that to her. I _wouldn't_ do that to her.

"Son?" Carlisle asked as I threw my jacket onto the railing and kicked off my snowy, wet boots. "What in the world is going on?" He sounded concerned.

Esme looked at me with the same worried, questioning gaze.

I hesitated. "I don't know, Carlisle. I don't know."

* * *

I wasn't exactly sure how long I lay on my bed that night without moving. Maybe an hour, maybe five. I wasn't precisely sure. I had unfinished homework still in my book-bag that was propped against the window wall. But I had bigger concerns then the dull history books and calculus. I would just have to accept the consequences for the unfinished assignments later.

As I lay in my bed, I listened to the girl next door to me cry her eyes out.

It was worse this time. Not louder, but the cries seemed so anguished—each one caused the growing lump in my throat to increase in size.

I realized I was the cause of the dreadful sobs. I was the one who had brought the sadness upon an innocent person who deserved nothing but happiness. Bella had always been so introverted, so withdrawn, that she hardly seemed human. It wasn't until tonight that I had realized she had a personality. And a great one, too. Immensely stubborn, but amazing. She was funny in her own way, even her involuntary reactions, like blushing.

We had had an actual conversation tonight at dinner that hadn't consisted of arguing. I had learned that despite Bella's shy, independant ways, she also had a gentler side to her character. She had let it show tonight, as we joked about how I apparently "dazzled" women. She had laughed along with me in many instances, something I hadn't ever dreamed I would see.

But above all, Bella was a _person_. Broken, yes. But still person. She was clumsy and hard-headed and—as dull as she seemed to others—one of a kind. Completely genuine.

Bella did not want others to know about her past, however. And her suddenly colourful personality had abruptly disappeared the second I spoke three words: _I know everything._

I wanted to help her. So badly that I thought my mind would burst with frustration that she kept me out. She needed a friend, that much was overbearingly obvious. And I could do just that for her. I could be her brother or her friend, whichever she pleased.

But, she'd rather that I remained a nobody in her life; a faceless person who she happened to live with temporarily. And that was the part that killed me most. Because, for about an hour, I _hadn't_ been a faceless nobody. I had been her friend. Of course, a few minutes after we had gotten in the car, all that had changed for the worst. But I had been her friend for sixty minutes, possibly the longest anyone has ever been her friend.

But now I wasn't. I was probably her least favorite person, now.

Another agonizing sob of Bella's slipped through my air vent and filled my bedroom.

I couldn't stand this anymore. I needed to get out of my bed. I needed to knock on Bella's door, gently but determinedly demanding entry. When she opened the door I would...what? Tell her I was sorry? Yeah, that had gone over _great_ in the car. Tell her everything was going to be okay? But I couldn't make that promise. Not if I wasn't certain I was going to be able to keep it. Would I just hold her in my arms and murmur to her soothingly? I doubted she would ever in a million years allow me to get that close.

But I wanted to do all those things. I wanted to go into her room, tell her she would be alright, and hug her.

I wanted to wrap my arms around her small, pale, seemingly fragile body and hold her to my chest, vowing never to let go. I wanted to stroke her long, mahogany hair reassuringly. I wanted to whisper comforts in her ear, maybe make her smile her beautiful smile again...

Hold on.

_What?_

What was wrong with me? I couldn't think things like that! She was my...my _foster sister_! How could I even imagine...

_Although_...Alice and Jasper had only been eleven years old when they met as foster siblings, and they've been in love ever since...and the same with Rosalie and Emmett at age thirteen...

But I didn't love Bella.

Did I?

I mean, sure, she was funny, smart, beautiful..._no_! I couldn't be in love with her. That really wouldn't help her. Who was I kidding, anyway? I was never going to be able to help her. She rejected any kind of assistance so harshly that it was impossible, perhaps even for a specialist.

But she would never know how much I desperate I was to orchestrate some normalcy in her life once again. After living through what her father did to her—I had never met the man yet I hated him with every fiber of my being—I wouldn't expect her to be whistling show tunes. But wouldn't someone who had been through something like that want help?

I wasn't sure. My father had never abused me.

If only I could see into that mind of hers!

But I couldn't. And I never would. The only chance I had at getting some sort of idea of what was running through her head was to talk to her. And we would have to talk about her past. And obviously, that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

Another sob erupted from my air vent.

If I did..._love _Bella, then I would have marched straight into her room and comforted her. But it would never be that easy.

For one, Bella was much too stubborn to see anything clearly at the moment. She wouldn't see how much I really cared about her.

Second, there was no way she could ever love me back. I had hurt her in the worst way; I had snooped into her history here in Forks, and triggered painful memories, I was sure.

And third, she hated me far too much to love me. If and when she left our house, and went on to the next foster family, she would most likely not lie awake in bed thinking of me. She would probably be too busy crying. But I would think of her. There was no doubt in my mind that I would think about her.

* * *

_**The next morning**_

I woke up earlier than usual, before my alarm clock went off. I got out of bed and headed into the shower.

When I was finished, I got dressed and proceeded to head downstairs. I doubted anyone was awake yet besides Carlisle, getting ready for his early shift at the hospital.

I walked into the kitchen, and sure enough, Carlisle was there, dressed in his lab coat. Esme, too, was there, still in her robe and slippers. They were speaking urgently in soft voices, but stopped the second I walked through the door way.

Esme's face, usually warm and motherly, looked very worried as she broke off her conversation with Carlisle.

"Oh, good morning, Edward," Carlisle greeted, a bit melancholy. "You're up so early."

I shrugged. "Yeah."

Esme didn't greet me. She frantically glanced at me, and then back to Carlisle.

Carlisle nodded towards her, seeming to know what she was thinking.

"Edward, son. Do you mind telling us what happened last night? Your mother and I are worried sick."

I sighed. I did not want to tell them about Bella's past. I couldn't. Telling my parents would be the worst thing I could do to Bella, besides telling her that I was in love with her. I couldn't do that to her.

"I'm sorry, Mom, Dad," I muttered, using their names that I only used when something major was going on. "I'm afraid I can't tell you. You see, I want to respect Bella's wishes by keeping what happened last night a secret. I don't think she'd be very happy with me if I shared anything. I'm sorry."

Esme walked over to me and put her small hands on either side of my face. "_Edward Anthony_, you listen to me," she demanded in a strange tone, almost harsh. It was very rare for her to talk like that. "As a mother, I will do anything to protect my children. And Bella is my daughter. We need to know so we can help her."

My eyes widened, frustrated. "Bella doesn't _want_ help, Esme!" I growled a bit too loudly for the early morning. I whisked my head out of my mother's grasp. It took me a minute to gain the strength to lower my voice. "I've _tried_ helping her. God, I've tried..." I explained in a quiet, pained voice, shaking my head back and forth. "And it just makes everything worse and worse. Bella hates me now, Esme. Helping her doesn't make anything better!" I exclaimed, feeling irate and completely ridiculous for allowing myself to blow up.

Esme put her hand over her mouth. "Edward...I..." Shock was evident in her voice.

I stared at my parents for a moment, trying to calm down. I took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Esme...I just..." I trailed off, not having a proper explanation for my outburst.

She shook her head and hugged me. "It's alright, Edward. I just don't understand. Why would she hate you?"

Of course, Esme saw all of her currently adopted children as if we were angels, perfect and ideal. Just as we all saw her as a wonderful mother. But I was about to explain to her that the first part wasn't exactly the case.

"Esme, Carlisle, I hurt Bella in a way I never should have. I meddled into her past, in an attempt to figure out why she kept herself so isolated from us, and I thought by knowing, I could help her. Well...that didn't work. I told her last night that I knew, and...well you saw what happened." I took in a shaky breath. "She said she _hated _me," I whispered.

My parents stared at me, wanting to know more.

I sighed. "So, I don't think it would be a good idea if anyone else knew. I wouldn't want her to hate you two, too." I paused. "And...I'm sorry. I might have completely ruined any chance of her wanting to be part of our family. I know you wanted another daughter, and I got in the way. I'm sorry." I stared at my feet, hating myself.

Carlisle spoke up. "You didn't ruin anything, Edward. You were only trying to help. You cared genuinely, and that's more than enough," He assured me.

I just shook my head, not believing him. "Can you understand why I can't tell you what happened to Bella?" I asked, pleadingly. "Look, if some sort of...miracle happens, and if Bella is someday willing to talk about it, then she will. But I don't want to force her to do anything. I couldn't bear it if I hurt her again."

Carlisle and Esme nodded in agreement.

"Of course, Edward," Esme acknowledged. "If you think that it is best for Bella, then we will trust your judgement."

"Yes," Carlisle agreed.

I sighed a breath of relief, and went to the refrigerator to grab some orange juice.

* * *

**_Bella's P.O.V_**

_"Look, if some sort of...miracle happens, and if Bella is someday willing to talk about it, then she will. But I don't want to force her to do anything. I couldn't bear it if I hurt her again," Edward had explained to his parents in a hushed, pained tone._

_"Of course, Edward. If you think that it is best for Bella, then we will trust your judgement." Esme had promised._

_"Yes," Carlisle had added._

I wasn't eavesdropping. I was simply in the hallway of the house I currently lived in overhearing the conversation taking place downstairs. Yes, I had heard the whole thing. Edward felt bad, and was smart enough to keep this little bit of information he had learned to himself.

I had my back pressed up against the wall at the top of the staircase. No one would see me from below, but I could hear the hushed voices thanks to the tall ceilings that provided a clear echo. I was still in my pajamas, and my hair was a bird's nest on my head.

I had woken up much too early at the sound of Edward getting into the shower next door. He had woken up earlier than usual, and I had heard all the clinks and clanks as he rummaged around in his bathroom on the opposite side of the wall, closing the bathroom door and sliding the glass shower-door shut. All these small, insignificant little noises had woken me, which was odd. I was normally a heavy sleeper and I talked a lot in my sleep—or so I'd been told, although I hadn't gotten much sleep last night. I had been so furious, depressed and frustrated all at the same time, and sleep had been almost impossible. I had eventually cried myself to sleep, and I had slept restlessly all night long.

So I hadn't been very pleased to have been woken up earlier then necessary, especially by someone whose piercing green eyes I wished to never to encounter again. I had laid in bed as Edward had taken his shower next door, trying to fall back asleep. But by the time Edward had gotten out of his bathroom and downstairs, I was wide awake.

I don't know why I followed him. Perhaps to see what he would say to a parent about last night. I wanted to hear his words, explaining the horror to them. Because then I would have an excuse to hate him even more than I did. Of course, I didn't want him to tell anybody, but I knew that it was going to happen. How could anybody keep something like this a secret?

Therefore, I had been shocked to hear that Edward was planning on keeping his knowledge of me silent. I was relieved—a wonderful feeling amongst the constant anxiety.

As their conversation came to a close, I remained where I stood, waiting to hear yet another talk about me erupt again. Maybe Esme would beg Edward to tell her—the desperate mom that she was. Or maybe Carlisle would insist that I needed medical help—emotionally or physically—and the only way he would know for sure was if Edward told him.

But no one said anything. I heard the opening and closing of the refrigerator door, Carlisle say goodbye to Edward and Esme, and open and close the garage door. I heard Esme humming to herself and Edward clicking on the television in the living room, turning the volume down low so not to wake anyone.

I hadn't noticed that Esme had joined Edward in the living room until I heard her speak.

_"I think that what you did was very kind, Edward," she told him. "You at least tried to help Bella. Don't beat yourself over it. You have done nothing wrong."_

There was a brief pause.

_"No, Esme," Edward disagreed. "I didn't think of the consequences firsthand like I should have."_

_"Edward, you couldn't have known what would have happened. Whatever it is that Bella has gone through, she can be helped. You offered it to her, and she refused it. But don't you see? You offered her help. You gave her a chance. I don't see any wrong in that." I could hear the smile in her voice._

Another brief pause.

_"I hope Bella gains the strength to talk to someone about...about what happened to her. I think she needs to," Edward mused._

_"Yes, I hope so, too. Maybe Carlisle and I could--"_

"Spying, Bella?" I heard a voice, quiet yet gruff, tease from behind me.

I gasped, quickly pivoting around. Emmett was standing not two inches away from me, wearing boxers and a t-shirt. His dark hair was a curly mess, and he looked like he had just woken up mere minutes ago. I should have blushed at the sight before me, but I had been too surprised by Emmett's sudden appearance to be embarrassed.

"Oh," I whispered. "No, um, I just...no, I wasn't..." I trailed off, feeling completely idiot. Now I was blushing, I could tell.

Emmett chuckled. "Hold on, hold on, don't hurt yourself," he said, seeming amused at my stuttering. "What you're trying to say is that you weren't spying, you were just_ listening_," he clarified, an amused grin on his face.

I sighed. "Yes."

He chuckled again, seeming to be enjoying himself, even at this ungodly hour. "What're you doing up so early?"

I shrugged, not feeling like explaining how his early-rising, noisy shower-taking brother had disrupted my sleep. "What are _you_ doing up so early?" I asked, a bit smug.

He smiled. "If I don't eat the remainder of the Cocoa Puffs now, then Jazz will eat it all," he explained. He pat his stomach with his large hand. "Gotta have my Cocoa Puffs."

I couldn't resist it this time, I rolled my eyes. "Well, you go do that."

He smiled. "Cheerfully. Oh, and Bella?" He asked, just as I'd been about to quickly walk away from him.

"Hmm?" I wasn't exactly annoyed with him, but I didn't really want to stay and chat with him either.

"Just a suggestion," he told me as he tried to suppress his grin. "You can hear everything from the air vent in Eddie's room a lot better than over here.. You know, if you plan to_ spy_ on someone again, it will be a lot more affective--"

"Okay," I whisper-shouted, not wanting Esme and Edward to overhear us in the echo-filled house. "Time to go eat your Cocoa Puffs, Emmett!"

He chuckled. "Alrighty, then!"

Emmett then stomped down the stairs, stretching and yawning too loudly for the quiet morning.

I walked back to my room to shower and get changed for school. After that, I went to change in my absurdly huge closet, where Alice had left piles of Rosalie's expensive, designer clothing. I chose a pair of jeans and a light gray sweater, wanting to draw as little attention to my appearance as possible. I didn't want to go downstairs and face Edward just yet. I stayed in my room and completed the previous night's homework assignment that I had never gotten to.

I wasn't even halfway finished with it when Emmett announced from the floor below me that it was time to leave for school. Oh well. I would just have to tell Mr. Mason that I'd forgotten about the assignment. I didn't care. One missed assignment wouldn't kill me.

I tugged on my parka and my backpack and headed downstairs. I refused the breakfast bar Esme offered me, not feeling hungry at all. I followed Rosalie and Alice into the garage and into the Jeep.

And, as if my day couldn't be any more exciting, Edward was sitting all the way in the back seat, and Rosalie and Alice gestured for me to slide in first. Meaning I would have to sit next to Edward.

Edward was staring out the window from his seat, at something in the garage that was apparently interesting to him.

Without breathing, I swung my bag over the seat and it landed in a loud thump next to Edward. He flinched, but did not turn his head. I sighed quietly, and climbed into the car and proceeded into the back. I squatted on the backseat, and attempted to swing one of my legs over the seat. Well, no such luck. As my foot touched the floor of the car in the back, I lunged forward to quickly, and ended up flinging my body over the middle seats and into the narrow opening on the floor of the car between the two rows of seats. I was even more horrified when my face made contact with Edward's shoe.

My first instinct was to get up off the floor, but I was stuck. Completely and totally stuck. The extra padding provided by my parka didn't help. I tried to use my arms to hoist myself up, with no avail. Being athletically challenged decreased my chances of getting up.

I was horrified, and I could feel the blush filling my cheeks over Edward's shoe. Even more so as I felt hands grip my arms and pull me up. I was suddenly pulled up, so I was sitting upright on the floor of the car in the backseat.

It had been Edward's hands that had helped me up.

Emmett was laughing loudly in the front seat, and I could hear Alice, Jasper, and Rosalie's quiet chuckles from where they stood from outside the car, too.

It took me a moment to face Edward, and I had been expecting him to be trying to muffle his laughter just as his siblings—everyone but Emmett, who's roaring laughter interrupted the quietness of the morning—but that wasn't the case. He was looking at me with a worried, concerned face.

"Bella? Are you alright?" He asked, his hands still on the sides of my arms.

I shrugged out of his grasp and hoisted myself up to the seat, placing my backpack on the floor where I had just laid. I could feel the blush growing more deep on my cheeks.

"I'm_ fine_," I muttered, my voice thick with embarrassment.

After the three remaining sibling's laughter calmed down, they climbed into the car, Alice gracefully and unfalteringly climbed into the backseat. I was wedged in between her and her brother.

As we drove through the vast forest path, I couldn't help but ignore Edward's intense stare. It was if he was expecting me to faint or something, or as if the impact of my head on his shoe had been too strong and I was about to have a concussion. I glanced at him once, and turned away quickly, my blush still present.

Why was he staring at me? I didn't know. But it wasn't making my already bad day any better.

Edward didn't speak to me once in the car, but didn't break his concerned, forceful gaze. I could feel his eyes on the side of my head as I stared at the back of Jasper's head in front of me.

When Emmett's car pulled to a stop in the school's parking lot, I slowly and carefully got out without peril, ignoring Edward's confusing green eyes watching me intently.

**A/N: I enjoyed writing the bit between Emmett and Bella. Human or vampire, he's still a funny guy. I'll try to update by next week. Thank you to all my wonderful reviews!! Your comments only make me want to write more. Keep the reviews coming!!!!**


	8. Vulnerable

**Chapter Seven**

_**Bella's P.O.V**_

_**One week later**_

Friday. The end of another week, the start of another forty eight hour period of emptiness. I was empty. A human on auto-pilot, a vacant shell.

The emptiness was really getting to my head. I no longer cried at night—and when I _used_ to have emotions, I would have felt confusion. I always cried myself to sleep. Why didn't I anymore? But since I didn't have any emotions, I did not feel confusion. Nor did I feel sadness, which is why I didn't cry. I also didn't feel fear. For once, I led a life without fear. Normally, a week without being afraid would have made me feel relief. But of course, that did not happen.

I couldn't explain why I was void of feelings. Was it because the unexpectedness of my secret being revealed that had put me into emotional shock? Or was it the overwhelming horror that _he_ would spread the news to his family that cleared my mind of feelings? I wasn't sure. But whatever it was had disabled my feelings, at least for the past week. I wasn't sure if or when they were coming back.

School lately had been so slow and boring that it was as if I had never gone. I didn't learn anything I hadn't known before, so it wasn't as if my grades were going down. It was just such a waste of time to sit through seven hours listening to teachers ramble on about subjects that I could care less about in my empty, shell-like state.

Edward's apparent silence of his newly found information about me was just as confusing as my disappearance of emotions. He had hinted that yes, I _did_ have a rough past, but he hasn't told anyone. Why? Why didn't he just tell his parents so they could help me like they seemed so desperate to do? Of course I didn't want him to. But any normal, rationally thinking human being would tell someone, wouldn't they? Of course, I'd known from the second Edward walked into my room so many weeks ago that he wasn't normal. No one had ever had the nerve to enter my bedroom at night while I cried. Nor did anyone have the nerve to stick their nose in my personal, secret past. And now he was keeping it a secret, too. Edward was allowing me to live the secret, quiet life I had lived for the past decade, even though he knew I hated it. But how would a life where I talked about my past be any better? It wouldn't change the fact that my father used to beat me. Talking wouldn't change the past. So what difference did it make?

Go ahead, Edward. Tell them. See what I care.

* * *

I slept in as late as possible, planning on seeing as little of the Cullen's as I possibly could. The seven minute car ride was worse enough. I would not make myself suffer through any more time than that.

Worse than feeling no emotions, the stares coming from my current foster family were blinding. Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper continued to look sideways at me as if I was some science-experiment gone wrong—the weird intruder in their home that was could compare to a brick living with them rather than a person. Emmettalways_ smiled_in my presence. But he always had anticipation in his eyes, as if he was waiting for me to fall on my butt any second. Carlisle and Esme's eyes widened in concern and parental care for me every time I passed them walking to the car before school and at the dinner table every night where I was forced to dine with the last people on earth I wanted to waste my life with. But the worst one—the worst glare of all was coming from Edward. It was a knowing glare, constantly reminding me that we were both on the same page now—although he would never know how torturous my past experiences had been. But his stares towards me—intense, hard, and emerald, I almost couldn't help but stare back. Even in my emotionless state, it was as if my own eyes had a magnetic pull to his. It was an unstoppable force of nature, and I didn't know why that was, either.

So many questions unanswered, yet I had to go to school.

After ensuring that my backpack was packed, I headed downstairs, quickly mumbling an excuse not to eat when Esme asked if I wanted a granola bar for the road. She always offered me one, every morning. I always refused, and she never argued.

I slid into Emmett's huge jeep, just like every weekday morning. Luckily today I got a window seat in the middle row, so I wouldn't have to do the dreadful and potentially deadly climb into the back seat. Everyone else climbed into the car, giving me their usual glares. Edward's, of course, was inescapable.

Why did he _look_ at me like that?

He sat two seats away from me, looking past Rosalie who sat between us into my direction. Rosalie seemed oblivious to what was going on between us, as she talked to Emmett in front of her, in the driver's seat. Edward's green eyes were smoldered in concentration, intently on me. I stared back, uncaring, unemotional, yet still trapped in his gaze.

School would have been a relief as we pulled into the parking lot, if I were able to feel it. I jumped out of the car as fast as I could without hurting myself, only stumbling a little bit as I twisted around to shut the car door behind me.

I power walked into the building, leaving my foster siblings behind me. The bell would ring in five minutes, giving me just enough time to get my books from my locker and head to my first class of the day, Calculus. Luckily, a class without Edward.

It was slow and dreadful, as always. I doodled in my notebook rather than copying down the equations the teacher was writing on the board.

My next class was English. Another Edward-less class. My doodling skills were really improving. I had graduated from circle-shaped swirls to tornado-shaped loops.

Next was biology. A class with Edward.

I trudged down the hallway to the biology class room unwillingly. I contemplated ditching class, but I didn't want to have to explain that to Carlisle and Esme later. It would be unendurable. So, I did something slightly less unendurable and slid into my seat next to Jessica Stanley, who had stopped trying to be my friend two days after I arrived to Forks.

"Okay, class," Mr. Mathews began, clapping his hands together once to get our attention. "Seeing that it's the end of the quarter, we are going to be switching seats. I would like everyone to stand up and walk to the back of the classroom with their belongings so I can assign you a seat."

I scooped up my heavy books, annoyed that we couldn't get started with class. I had some major doodling to do. I stood next to Jessica in the jumble of students in the back of the small class room, and Mr. Mathews started naming kids and pointing them to their new seat. I stared off into space, not paying attention to the names being called.

"_Bella Swan_."

My head jerked up at the sound of my name. Mr. Mathews was pointing to a table, in the third row to the left of the room. It was empty. I walked over and threw my books on the table, sliding my metal chair out noisily before plopping down onto it. I pulled out my notebook and pen, prepared to sink back into my scribbling.

"Edward Cullen, take the seat next to Bella."

I froze. After a full week of feeling nothing, I suddenly had an emotion. It was dread. _Intense dread._

I didn't hear Edward walk up to me, but I jumped when he pulled his metal chair out, the metal chair legs protesting against the linoleum floor. I didn't look as he set his books on the table, and slid into his own seat.

As Mr. Mathews proceeded to call other names, I knew Edward was staring at me. I could feel his green eyes burning into the side of my head. I didn't dare look back, for fear that I would be trapped in his perplexing gaze for the remainder of the period. Fear. I felt fear. Again.

I stared straight ahead of me, intent on staying frozen that way for the rest of the class.

How was it that I always ended up with the bad luck? After everything that has happened, why was it that all the bad things couldn't _stop_? Aside from my experiences as a child with my father, why was it that I had to come to Forks? Why did I have to live with the prying Cullen's? Why was their bronze haired, green eyed son so evil? And in more ways than one, at that. Not only did he discover my most dreaded secret, but he was so...intriguing. The interesting way his facial features had contorted into pain as we spoke of my past. The way his eyes had lightened and his perfectly full lips had curved into a breathtaking crooked smile when he saw through my shield that I so desperately strived to keep up. The way his perfectly unruly hair had blown in the wind, and the way he gracefully had led me from class to class on my first day of school. The wayj—

"Bella, can you answer the question?"

I shot my head in Mr. Mathews' direction, still seemingly dazed. "Er—what?"

He pointed at something on the board, but my eyes were too blurred with images of Edward to see clearly.

"Um..." My mind was blank. I couldn't comprehend what he wanted me to do.

"_The Krebs Cycle_," I heard Edward murmur under his breath in a soft, barely audible whisper.

"The Krebs Cycle!" I practically shouted across the room.

Mr. Mathews knit his eyebrows but did not comment on my weird outburst. "_Yes_...the Krebs Cycle. Very...good, Bella." Mr. Mathews stared at me peculiarly for a second and then proceeded to carry on with his lesson.

I sighed a breath of relief, and then, before I could stop myself, turned to Edward.

He was staring at me, not to my surprise. I tried not to look straight into his eyes.

"_Thanks_," I whispered.

"_You're welcome_."

I didn't turn my head back to face the class.

It was odd, as I stared at Edward and he stared at me, that the world seemed to stop. It was as if no one existed except for us, as we sat next to each other in the small classroom full of teenagers. Why was this happening? It was beyond perplexing. But whatever the reason, I knew it shouldn't be happening. I knew that I shouldn't feel like I was on a rollercoaster, in the front row going straight down a steep drop whenever my eyes met Edward's. I dreaded his presence, but craved it just as much. I had fallen emotionless for the past week, and now I knew why.

I was in love with Edward Cullen.

All my life, my most dominant feelings were fear, pain, and sorrow. Never before had I felt warmth, affection, or need. Never in my life had I even _desired_ to feel like that, either. So, as I had started to feel the warmth, my mind had repressed it as fast as it could, not allowing me to feel anything whatsoever. That was something that made since for someone like me. After what I had been through, it wouldn't be in my best interest to want to...to_love_. And when I started to, my brain, perhaps subconsciously, had sort of flicked off my feelings like a light switch. And Edward was the only human being out there who was able to flick it back on, just as he had now. And there was no way to shut it off.

Edward's face didn't once grow confused as I was staring at him. He was staring as intensely as I was, although I didn't know why. Was he confused that I was suddenly transfixed by him, but he was just hiding his bewilderment behind gentle, soft, beautiful eyes and a perfect face? Or did he really feel the same way as I did? Why would he? I couldn't be sure. I was completely broken, I had been for more than ten years. Loving me would be wasteful. Yes, I would be a waste for Edward. Just as my father had told me that I was a waste for him.

I had never been more grateful or more unappreciative of the bell. I didn't rush out of the classroom as usual. It took me a moment to pry my eyes from Edward's. The abrupt movement of the students shuffling out of the room woke me up from my trace, and it seemed to wake Edward too, from whatever it was that was distracting him. We didn't say a word to each other, but I was pretty sure Edward watched me walk out of the room before he walked out himself.

* * *

Lunch passed by slowly, for I didn't eat food as a distraction. Edward, Emmett, and Jasper had moved to a new table a few days ago, probably because they had not been able to stand my awkwardness. So I didn't have to worry about Edward for forty minutes.

Gym was terrible, as usual. Alice offered to be my partner for bad-mitten, for which I was grateful, as I saw Mike Newton eyeing me eagerly. I missed the birdie an uncountable amount of times, hit the player next to me with the racket, probably giving her several bruises. I even zoned out of the game completely a few times, unintentionally allowing the birdie to hit me. As we played, I made sure that my long-sleeve gym shirt stayed pulled down to my left wrist, for fear that it would slip down and expose my left forearm.

Spanish was next, one of the two classes I had left with Edward. Fortunately, Edward and I sat on opposite sides of the room from each other, although I couldn't help but steal a few glances from across the classroom, although this time, he did not stare back at me.

What was wrong with me? Why was I suddenly so...obsessed? Yesterday I had felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. Edward had been just another face, irrelevant and insignificant. Last week I had hated him with every fiber of my being. After all, he had hurt me...and I couldn't trust him. I couldn't trust _anyone_. Especially Edward, who was completely eager to help me and be there for me as my friend...

So of course I couldn't trust him.

Could I?

* * *

Edward sat in back of me in government. So, I couldn't turn around in my seat to look at him without looking like I was cheating off of someone's paper or trying to pass a note. So I paid attention in class, for once. I did the worksheet, I answered the question asked to me without someone having to whisper the correct answer to me, and at the end of the class, I gathered my books and walked out at the same pace as everyone else.

I knew what I had to do. And what I had to do didn't involve returning home with the Cullen siblings.

I didn't know where to go. Forks wasn't exactly a big place where you could hide in. Anyone who saw me would recognize me instantly and turn me into the Cullen's. I didn't have any money, clothes, or anything. I was leaving that behind with the Cullen's, too.

But where to go? What were my options?

I could run and tell Alice that I had to stay after school to get help from one of the teachers. That way, she would leave with her brothers and sisters, and her family wouldn't expect me until later. But I wouldn't go home later. I would stay at school until nightfall, hidden in the girl's bathroom. No one would see me leaving town in the rainy darkness...

I could go to Port Angeles. It couldn't be too far of a walk...but what would I do when I got there? I didn't have any money.

I was by my locker now, and instead of packing my backpack, I merely shoved all my books into the narrow metal space and slammed the door with determination.

I didn't care how my life ended up from this point. I needed to get out of Forks, money or no money. I wouldn't waste time going to find Alice. No, I would let her family run around the school like idiots trying to find me. I would show them what it's like to feel worry. Even if they don't feel it as intensely as I had for the past decade or so. I would start my trip early, but hidden in the forest on the outskirts of Forks. I wouldn't go too far in—someone like me who was prone to accidents and bad luck shouldn't be messing around in a forest full of plants to trip on and animals to have to run away from. I would somehow—I wasn't completely sure how—leave Forks. I wouldn't stay in Port Angeles for long, either. I had to leave Washington; leave behind all my vicious memories.

Charlie Swan wouldn't haunt me for much longer. Not in Forks, anyway, where his haunting only seemed more like he was really there.

Edward Cullen wouldn't drive me insane in more ways than one for much longer, either. Nor would his too-loving parents, or his enthusiastic sister, or his cocoa puff-loving brother...

I strode out of the school with a newfound bravery. It would be the last time I would ever walk through those doors. I went through a map in my head. The forest was just in back of the school, across from the parking lot. If I could go across the parking lot without being seen, I could make it into the forest, and be free. I bounced down the steps and proceeded to walk across the lot, leaving my past, my foster-family, my love...behind me.

* * *

_**Edward's P.O.V.**_

I walked towards Emmett's jeep, eager to have another excuse to stare at the beautiful brunette who had completely taken over my mind in the last week. She was all I ever thought about these days.

I wanted to speak with her. So badly. But she hated me. I wanted to help her, but I couldn't. I couldn't even apologize to her without upsetting her. And I had upset her far too many times. It would be up to her, now. I was giving her a choice. She could speak to me if she wanted to, and I would listen. I would listen, and be there for her every second. But she wouldn't. It was just a dream...one that would never become a reality.

Emmett and Jasper were already standing by the car, but Alice and Rosalie hadn't made it outside yet. That was no surprise, they usually took a bit longer.

Emmett and Jasper didn't notice me walk up. They seemed to be staring intently towards the back of the parking lot, fixated on something. I looked in the same direction, too, and saw nothing but shrubbery.

"Jazz? Em?" I asked in a perplexed voice, breaking the silence.

They both stared for a moment longer, and then turned to look at me. Both of their eyes were squinted, their eyebrows knitted, and lines of confusion in their foreheads.

"We just saw..." Emmett trailed off, his voice an octave higher than his usual bass.

"That was...Bella..." Jasper murmured, his voice normal but ringing in bewilderment.

They both turned back to stare at the forest.

What? "Jasper, what's going on? What are you talking about?" I demanded.

He turned back towards me. "Bella...just ran into the forest."

Emmett looked over at me. "Eddie, I don't know what's going on, but I'm _tellin'_ ya, there's something up with that girl."

Bella was in the _forest_? Well, I wasn't about to let her wander by herself. She already hated me. I didn't think it could get any worse. Besides, what was the worst she could do?

"You guys can head home once Rose and Alice get here," I told my brothers. "I'm going to...see what's going on."

I threw my bag in the car before heading off in the same direction Emmett and Jasper had been staring in.

It wasn't raining today, thankfully. The rain would make it more difficult for me to find Bella. I entered the forest, and took in my surroundings. Everywhere I went, there was green. I kept my eyes peeled for a certain shade of mahogany brown hair.

I walked forward, not really sure where to go. What if I couldn't find her? What would I do then? We would have to call the police, and then Bella would really hate me once she was found. Probably more than anyone had ever hated another person ever. But I could live with that, as long as she was safe.

I continued walking, my worry growing with each passing step. I had walked for five minutes and still didn't find her.

Five minutes turned into ten, which turned into fifteen. Nothing.

I eventually sat down on a tree stump, frustrated and worried out of my mind.

I didn't think as I sat there. I knew I was lost, which meant Bella was, too. She couldn't have been very far from me, but wherever she was, she was doing a good job at hiding it.

Why was she in here? It wasn't safe for her to be in here alone, especially since she seemed to be a bit of a danger-magnet.

A sudden thump interrupted my thoughts.

It sounded as if a branch had fallen off a tree and landed onto the wet, mossy ground not too far away from me. The woods were so silent that they could be heard from a mile away.

Had that been Bella?

I got up, and started to run deeper into the forest. I didn't call Bella's name, but I wanted to. _Bella!_ I wanted to shout._ I'm here, Bella! I promise, I'll never hurt you._

I was almost shocked when I eventually saw the poor girl's form on the ground about teen feet away, in a green and flowery meadow. She had tripped, and was just getting up. Her movements looked frustrated as she got up, wiping the mud and leaves from the back of her jacket. I slowed to a walk, so I wouldn't frighten her.

Bella stood for a moment, her back to me. I knew she hadn't noticed my presence, so she was probably thinking. If I could only know what was going on inside her head?

Slowly and hesitantly, I took small steps towards Bella. A leaf crunched under my foot, giving me away.

I heard Bella gasp softly as she whisked eyes widened with shock at my face, but she did not speak.

"Bella," I murmured, staring into her endless chocolate eyes, and I started to lose myself in them. I regained composure as I remembered the situation. I made my voice as soft as I could. "Bella, you have to come back. What are you doing out here?"

A scowl formed on her pale, beautiful face. "I'm not going back." Her voice was quiet, not loud like it usually was when she argued with me. But not completely defenceless.

She wasn't going back? Did she intend to live in the forest, then? "Bella," I sighed, feeling myself growing frustrated. "You_ have_ to come back. Carlisle and Esme will be worried..." I trailed off, knowing that Bella didn't care in the least.

There was a long moment of silence between us. It was deafening.

Bella looked so lost, so alone. It was similar to that first night, when I had seen her crying...

"Edward," she finally spoke up. Hearing her speak my name was like listening to music. "I_...can't_ go back." Her voice was clear, but there was a part of it that didn't sound decided.

"Why not?" I asked softly, carefully taking a step forward. Bella took a step back.

"Because...I...I can't do this anymore," she told me, her voice growing smaller.

I knew what she was talking about. She couldn't take the memories that Forks held for her. She couldn't bear the pain...and I understood. But she couldn't just wander in the forest without telling anyone.

"Bella, I know that you're unhappy. And I know that I'm part of the reason why you're unhappy. I know that you probably are sick of hearing it, but...I'm just so...sorry."

Her eyes bore into mine with a sudden vengeance. "Yes. You _are _part of the reason," she agreed, her voice stronger than before.

"I'm sorry," I said again, hating myself more than I ever had. "I never should have gone to the Blacks. I'm sorry I did that, Bella."

Bella shook her head, her brown locks flying everywhere. "No, Edward. It's not that."

I knit my eyebrows. Had I done anything else to hurt her that I had forgotten about? I was prepared to apologize for that, too.

I didn't speak so she could continue.

She didn't continue.

"_Bella_?" I begged. "Tell me. Please. What else have I done?"

"You haven't done anything," she said, her voice calmer than it was before. "It's something _I've_ done."

Now I was completely lost. "I don't understand. Explain that to me, please."

She opened her mouth, but no words escaped right away from her full lips. She shut it, then opened it again. "Never mind. Just...let's just go back home." Bella started to walk across the meadow, but I grabbed her shoulder before she could go any further past me. She flinched under my touch.

"Please," I whispered.

Bella stared at me for a moment, just like how she had in biology. I couldn't breathe. Her eyes had stolen my breath.

I was shocked when the chocolate in her eyes started to melt, and a single tear slid down her pale cheek. I wanted to wipe it away with my fingers, just as an excuse to touch her, but I restrained myself.

Slowly, I sunk to the wet meadow's ground, bringing Bella with me as my hand was still on her shoulder. I needed answers just as badly as she needed to answer them.

"Bella, I'm here for you. Please." _I love you. I want to help you_, I wanted to add.

Bella just shook her head, causing her face to be hidden under the brown waterfall of her hair. She curled defensively and stared at her knees. My hand remained on her shoulder, for she hadn't shrugged it off yet.

"Bella, please." I whispered, leaning in closer and inhaling. She smelled like...strawberries. "Look at me."

She did so, slowly. Her head inclined to meet my eyes. She stared at me for a moment, although it felt like a century. I knew that I was wretchedly in love with her. There was no stopping it, or ignoring it. I had to help her. Even if it was the last thing I ever did.

After a moment, her eyes closed. It was as if she didn't like what she saw in me. Had I really hurt her that badly? If that was the case, then why was she allowing me to be so close to her?

"Bella, why are you in here?" I asked, breaking the silence.

She sighed. "...I was trying to run away." Her voice was so small, so innocent, like a child's.

"Why were you trying to run away?" I asked softly, cautiously moving my hand up to brush away a lock of mahogany hair that waved down the side of her cheek. She did not flinch this time.

She took several deep breaths. "I...I...can't live here. I can't stay with your family anymore," she admitted as another shocking tear rolling down her cheek.

Finally, the answer I'd been craving for weeks. "Why, Bella? Everyone wants you to stay. Why can't--"

"_Nobody wants me to stay_!" Bella suddenly exclaimed. "Nobody wants me at all." And then she mashed her lips tightly together, as if ashamed of having spoken too much.

Was she really that blind? "Bella, you _know _that isn't true. Esme, Carlisle, Alice...they all wish you would stay and be part of the family. I do, too. And I know Emmett, Jasper and Rose do, too, even if they haven't expressed it as...enthusiastically."

She shook her head. "...No. Nobody's ever wanted me, Edward. Not my past foster families, not your family...not even my own father." Another tear rolled down her cheek.

I know knew what she meant. Her father hadn't wanted her, that much was true. But he had been entirely unfit to raise a daughter.

"Bella, your father...was a horrible person," I explained to her, although I was sure she knew this already. "But you have so many other people who care about you, Bella. My parents care about you as if you were their _real _daughter. And..._I_ care about you." What would be her reaction? Would she say she hated me again? Would she say I was crazy?

Actually, Bella didn't even seem to notice my subtle hint that I was absurdly in love with her.

"But my dad wasn't always...horrible." She sniffed. When she didn't continue, I squeezed her shoulder gently, encouraging her.

"Tell me, Bella. Maybe it would make you feel better," I crooned.

Bella shook her head. "I don't see how it will. It won't change anything."

I shook my head, agreeing with her. "No, it won't. The past is the past, and no one can do anything to change it. But keeping things bottled up won't do you any good. Talking about it will help you make peace with the past. Besides, what have you got to lose?" I rubbed soothing circles on her shoulder blade with my fingers as I said this.

Bella sighed. "I...I don't know where to start," she admitted.

So Bella_ was_ going to tell me. All of her guards were down, as well as her defensive wall that she had struggled to keep up for the past decade. She was vulnerable, for once. She was accepting help.

I thought for a moment. "Just start with the first thing you remember. And take your time. I'm all ears." I smiled encouragingly at the beauty mere inches away from me.

Bella took a deep breath. "Well, it started when I was five years old..."

**A/N: I'm a fast updater, eh? Sorry about the wait. I'll try to update quicker from now on. Thanks to all my wonderful reviewers!!! You guys are the awesomest!!!! And that's not even a word! Review please!!!!**


	9. Hope

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

**Chapter Eight**

_**Bella's P.O.V.**_

"Well, it started when I was five years old," I began, remembering. "I had been so young, and I didn't understand why my father, a police man, would...hit me." I took a deep breath, trying to calm my breathing and hold back the tear that was threatening to seep out of my eye.

I could feel Edward's hand, warm even through my parka, caressing small circles on my shoulders comfortingly.

"Take your time, Bella," he insisted in his softest voice, the voice he'd been using ever since he'd pulled me down next to him on the damp meadow floor. If my heart hadn't frozen over in fear of remembering and explaining my past, it would have melted.

I took another deep breath. "When my mom left us a year earlier, she told me that she needed relief. That, even though she loved me, it wasn't enough to make her want to stay in Forks. I wasn't enough for her. Neither was my dad. She didn't like small towns..." I trailed off, gathering my thoughts, thinking of what painful memory to bring up next.

"I remember my dad being really depressed once she was gone. Even when he smiled I could still see the sadness in his eyes. But, he knew I was sad, too, that my mom left. He spent a year trying to fill in the holes that Mom left behind. He brought me to school every day, he grocery shopped, he even cooked. I knew he was heartbroken, and even as a four year old, I understood that this had been really hard on him. Things got better, though. Our friends—the Blacks, I guess you've met them already..." I trailed off, looking at Edward questioningly.

He nodded, concealing his eyes behind his eyelids as he did so. He seemed sort of ashamed at the moment, but that did not stop him from answering. "Yes, I've met them. They explained the main points to me. But please, keep going, Bella. You're doing wonderful."

His gentle words gave me encouragement, and I proceeded to continue.

"The Blacks came over a lot. Billy was my dad's best friend. His son and I were the same age, and good friends, too. Jacob and I used to make mud-pies in my backyard." I smiled a little at the memory, but my lips straightened as I continued with the story. "They would often come over so Billy and my Dad could watch sports together. I knew Billy felt bad for my dad, too. A year went by, and nothing much had happened. Billy and my dad watched baseball every other night, and everything seemed alright...well, as good as it could have been. But eventually...my dad started drinking. I never understood why he always acted so different after he drank. He would be meaner, and often swear at me just because I asked him for help on my homework. He would sometimes sleep late in the morning and forget to drive me to school. Other times he would forget to pick me up. The secretary would eventually have to call Billy, who I guess replaced my mom on my emergency contact information to come and get me. And when I'd get home from school, he'd mostly be passed out drunk on the couch."

I stopped to think about what happened next. It was something that I'd tried to repress for ten years. Now, I was inviting the thought back into my head. I sighed, not wanting to say the rest. I felt another tear roll down my face. I tried to brush it away, but it was useless. Edward had seen me cry, and I couldn't hide my pain in front of him. It was impossible.

"Bella, go on. Tell me what happened next. It will help you, I promise," Edward urged, wiping away a stray tear I'd missed. My skin tingled under his gentle touch.

I proceeded to put my distractions aside and continue. "...One day, when I was in first grade, Billy dropped me off home after school. But, instead of pulling away like he normally did after I got inside, he followed me in, and told Jacob to stay in the car. He wanted to talk to my dad, and ask him why he never picked me up from school. My dad was awake when Billy came in, and they got into an argument. Billy accused him of being irresponsible, and my dad got defensive. Billy eventually stormed out of the house in anger, leaving me alone with my dad."

I took a deep breath, completely dreading to continue. But I knew I had to.

"It caught me completely off guard when Charlie punched me, hard on my cheek. I...I don't think I'll ever forget it. I think I was more confused on why he had hit me, rather than focusing on the pain. But my dad hit me again, and again. Sometimes on my face, sometimes my stomach. I cried a lot...screamed, even...but he didn't stop. He was silent at first; he just hit me over and over again. But eventually, he said...he said that I was a waste, and that it was my fault that my mom left."

I stopped talking since my voice was starting to crack. It was hard for me, even, to believe that this was only the beginning of Charlie's attacks. I had to get it together, or I would never be able to explain to Edward the rest.

Edward let me sit there and take deep breaths, all the while rubbing soothing circles on my back, this time. His eyes were burning with sadness. I was surprised on how much this was affecting him, too.

His eyes, his sorrow, his compassion was what kept me going.

"My dad started to drink more...and the beatings got worse," I continued my voice calmer now. "My whole first grade year was spent in the principal's office, where they constantly questioned my bruises. My dad made me swear to not say anything about it, just say I tripped down the stairs, or fell of my bike, _or else_. I always wondered what exactly he would have done if I _had _told the principal and the social worker....

"When second grade came, Charlie made a great effort to see Billy and Jacob a lot less. I think that hurt more than the beatings; Jacob was the only friend I was allowed to have over at my house. My only other friend, Angela, wasn't allowed over. We were close, though, but I wouldn't have wanted her over anyway. Even as a seven year old, I think she suspected what was going on at my house. Anyway, I would overhear Charlie tell Billy on the phone that he had to go work into the station that night, or he wanted to go to Port Angeles for dinner with me. His excuses were always lies. He would tell me that I had misbehaved even when I didn't, and he would...punish me. And then drink, when he was done, and watch whatever game was on by himself.

"The last time my father ever beat me was by far the worst. It was in the middle of second grade, and the teachers were beyond suspicious by then. I would sometimes fall asleep in the middle of class, or randomly start crying. It confused me more than it confused them, really. I also knew that Billy suspected my dad, too. He would often come to our house, with Jacob pushing him in his wheelchair, now. And he would try to have my dad come to the reservation for a change. But my dad always lied, he always had an excuse to not go. He had other plans—the twelve pack of poison that sat just on the side of the sofa. My dad always made sure I was locked in my room when he opened the door to Billy's unexpected visits. He didn't want me to give him away, of course. He never realized how deathly afraid I was at even the thought of telling someone what he was doing to me.

"One day, after school, my dad was there, and he told me to start making dinner. I remember that I started making salad...in my mom's glass bowl. When I was done, I started to bring it over to the table...but I tripped over my own feet, and dropped the bowl. My dad came in, and without saying anything, kicked me in the stomach. That, I was used to. But then it got worse, so much worse than ever before. He picked me up and threw me to the ground...and kicked me in the face, and...then he picked me up again and threw me into the glass coffee table in the living room. The whole thing shattered underneath me, and a huge shard of glass went into my left arm...and I pulled it out. I still have a scar today. It's the scar that is constantly reminding me of my past...constantly reminding me that I can't ever escape it. The man I hate most in the world gave it to me, and...it's almost like there's a part of my dad that's with me, now...and it's always worse whenever I look at the scar."

I took a deep breath, finally noticing the tears that were silently rolling down my face. I was now starting to comprehend the pain of the memories...and I was almost at my breaking point.

"Bella," Edward murmured, and I could hear the agony in his voice. I looked up at him again, into his eyes. Still green, still sad, and still compassionate. "Tell me the rest, Bella. Please," was all he said.

I swallowed, not making an effort to wipe away my tears. I knew the attempt would be wasted.

"...After Charlie threw me into the glass table...well...I don't remember everything completely clearly. He started knocking furniture down, like he had to destroy everything in sight to get his anger out. He knocked over the T.V, and the picture I had drawn in kindergarten of him and me that hung on the wall. Then, he took me, seeming to not notice that I was covered in blood, and brought me up to my room. He placed me on my floor, and told me that I was never coming out.

"I started to cry, and I cried even harder when I heard footsteps coming down the hallway that I thought were my father's about an hour later. But they weren't. They were Jacob's. He came in, and he started to cry, too, when he saw how broken I was. He gave me a hug, not minding the blood, and ran downstairs to tell Billy. I was confused on what was going on, so I just sat there on the floor, and cried. Jacob stayed with me until an ambulance came...along with some of Charlie's co-workers who were coming to arrest him. I was taken to the hospital, dazed and confused, and then, after getting stitches and stuff, I went home with Billy and Jacob. I don't remember what happened next, I'm pretty sure I fell asleep right away. I ate breakfast with Billy and Jacob the next morning. Billy told me that I was going away for a while, but I was too young to understand. He had a neighbor drive me to school in Forks the next day, since Jacob went to a different school. That was the last time I ever saw either one of them. That day at school, I told Angela that I was leaving, and I didn't know why. A social worker drove me to an airport, and I went to the Menser house in Phoenix, and then was sent to a foster family. And I've been if foster homes ever since, depressed and lonely. None of the foster families ever wanted me, since I was basically a shell of a person who seemed to need professional help. But I don't. I just need someone to be there for me, always—despite my flaws. And each family I've been with hasn't helped me. I've always been the strange outsider in every home, and each foster family was always eager for me to leave. And then, I came back to Forks. I never thought I'd ever have to, but...when I met Carlisle...he just seemed so...fatherly. Not the kind who would do anything to hurt anyone. And I _wanted _to stay with his family, for the first time in my life. But Forks...I didn't want to go back to the place that's haunted me for ten years. At first I thought that I could face my fear, and maybe...maybe learn to like Carlisle's family, and maybe they would like me. But when I arrived in Forks...I just...I couldn't do it. I couldn't make any connections in this town.

"Edward..." I sniffed. "I know your family must think I'm some sort of...I don't know _what _they think of me...but I don't hate them. I mean, Carlisle and Esme have been the closest things to parents I'll ever have, and Emmett and Alice have been nothing but friendly to me...and _you_. You've been..." I trailed off, not able to find the right adjective to describe how wonderful Edward had been towards me. This brought up another memory, just as painful as the rest. "Edward, when I said that I hated you, I...I didn't mean it, I _didn't_. I just...I...oh...Edward..." I was sobbing now, the pain overwhelming me.

**Edward's P.O.V.**

My arms tightened instinctively around the poor, beautiful girl crying before me. Bella ducked her head and rested her forehead on her knees, completely broken down. I had never witnessed such pain, and I felt my heart break even more with each sob that came through Bella's lips.

"Bella..." I whispered, desperate to soothe her. "Bella..."

"I'm s-s-sorry!" She cried, her voice muffled. "I d-don't hate y-you."

"I know, Bella. I know," I murmured, feeling the need to hold her tighter. I had to assure her that I had no hard feelings, now that I knew everything that happened. She _had_ to know that. She also had to know that I would be the one who would always be there for her, unconditionally. But how would I tell her without overwhelming her, or even scaring her? Bella had opened herself up to me, and I should do the same...the only question was, how?

"Bella," I began, taking my chances. Maybe this would be good for her. Maybe, or maybe not. But I had to try... "Bella, my family loves you. They don't think anything bad of you at all. They understand why you're so...sad. Of course, I didn't tell them why exactly, I would _never_ do that to you, but they do know that you've been through a lot. Well, at least, Carlisle, Esme, and Alice know. They would love to help you Bella, almost as much as I would," I explained.

Finally, she bent her head upwards to look at me with chocolate, tear-filled eyes.

"Edward...you _have_ helped me. You've...you've helped me feel things other than sadness...and fear. You've...you..." She trailed off, her cheeks starting to redden.

What did this mean? What did she feel around me? Did this mean that she possibly loved me, too? What if she did? If she did, I would willingly and happily return that love. And if she did, she had to know that I loved her, so she wouldn't have an excuse to doubt it.

"Bella," I started. "You said you needed someone to be there for you. I _can_ be there for you, as much or as little as you want. I don't want you to live in fear or sadness. I want you to be happy. And if you let me, I will do everything in my power to make sure that you are. I promise you that, Bella."

She continued to stare at me, the same tears on her face, and the same pitiful look in her eyes. It was as if I had never spoken.

Finally, her face showed a sign of life. Another tear fell from her eye and mixed in with the others.

"Edward...I...you have to know something. All week, I've felt nothing. Not fear, not sadness...nothing. Before this week, there's never been one second when I haven't been sad. But...Edward...when I'm around you, I...I feel safe. I feel comforted. And I feel hope." Bella's voice was thick with tears, but to my surprise, her face suddenly lit up, and her lips curved into a small smile. "Edward, I now realize why I haven't felt anything this week. Up until today, at least. I wonder why I didn't see it right away! For ten years, I've only felt fear...and then, I started to feel—well, around you, I felt...I guess you could say...that I felt...well, um, more comfortable. And, I'm not used to that. At all. So...I guess my mind repressed it. But, Edward, I don't want to anymore. I'm..._tired_ of being unhappy. And you give me happiness, Edward. And if I try to run away from it, like I did just a few minutes ago, I'm only going to end up more unhappy."

I knit my eyebrows, thinking. Bella felt more..._comfortable_? What did that mean? Was that really all she felt towards me—comfort? Or...well, it's always been hard for her to talk about things, obviously. She spent a whole decade keeping a secret. Perhaps she was doing that right now. But how to get it out of her? I had already done enough pressing and hinting. I couldn't try to make her tell me. I just had to straight out ask the question. If comfort was her only feeling towards me, than that was wonderful. At least I could provide _any_ good feelings for her, for the first time in ten years. But was it possible that I could provide more?

"...Bella?" I murmured, mentally preparing myself for any answer she would give me. "Do you love me?"

Her brown eyes widened, and her smile faded. Her face had that expressionless look again, as if I hadn't spoken. I realized that this would be tough for her. Love was the opposite of fear, and it was fear that she had been accustomed to for a long time. I waited patiently, watching her intently.

Her expression suddenly turned very soft. Another tear fell from her eye, and the wind blew her hair behind her.

"_Yes_," she whispered, looking down at her hands.

I felt a smile growing on my face, so wide that my cheeks hurt. Then, carefully situating myself so that I was sitting next to her rather than in front of her, I took her left forearm in my hands. Carefully, as if her arm would break if I weren't gentle enough, I slid up the sleeve of her jacket. I heard her quietly gasp next to me, but she didn't tell me to stop. I knew this would be hard for her, but I couldn't let this scar—this mark of fear she had for her abusive father--haunt her anymore. I pushed the sleeve up to her elbow. Now, gazing at the pale skin of her forearm that was constantly covered with long-sleeved shirts and sweaters, I saw the scar. It was shaped as if a long, sharp piece of glass had been injected into it, and then pulled backward—probably from when Bella had tried to remove it.

I tore my gaze from the scar back to Bella's eyes, which were glistening with tears. . I knew that I could not let Charlie Swan rule her life anymore.

I raised Bella's fragile looking arm towards my face, and bent my neck down as to not make her uncomfortable. Carefully, I pressed my lips to the soft, pale skin of her arm, right on her scar. I held the kiss there for a long few seconds, wanting to rid her of any prior horror of the man whom I hated probably just as much as she did. I finally pulled away and looked into her eyes, wanting to kiss her lips. But I wouldn't—not until I knew she would be okay with it. I would not rush her into anything.

"Now there's a part of me that's always with you, too, Bella," I whispered.

Bella smiled at me, more tears leaking from her eyes. "Thank you, Edward," muttered hoarsely.

I grinned again at the beauty in front of me. I was in love with Bella, and I couldn't imagine my life without her.

* * *

We sat like that for a long time, until I remembered my family. With a quick glance at my watch, I realized we had been in the woods for an hour. Everyone was worried about us, I was sure.

"Oh no, Bella. We have to go," I said, my tone disappointed.

Bella's face looked sad. She didn't want to leave any more than I did.

I smiled. As long as I was with her, I was happy. "Come on," I said, swiftly standing up and then offering my hand to her. She took it and I helped her up, and started to walk forward, with her hand still in mine.

"Do you have any idea how to get back?" Bella asked, her tone hesitant. Then she smiled. "While I was running, I wasn't really focusing on _where_ I was going, to be honest," she admitted, chuckling.

I untangled our hands and carefully wrapped my arm around her slim waist. "Neither was I," I told her, my smile growing.

It took us half an hour, but we finally made it through the forest and back to the school's parking lot. We had gotten lost so many times on our way, having been completely surrounded by green and unable to find the exit out of the woods. We laughed the whole time. I was constantly catching Bella each time she tripped over a root of a tree or her own feet, and she was teasing herself about her own clumsiness. It had been wonderful to be so carefree, for once, especially under the tense situation we were just in. It was like the night in the restaurant in Port Angeles—wonderful.

When we finally emerged out of the woods and into the parking lot, we were surprised to find it completely empty.

Bella laughed as we stepped past the last shrub. "Well, I guess we're walking home."

I smiled, and shook my head. "Silly Bella. I'll have someone pick us up. Besides, I think it might rain," I pointed up, looking at the sky.

She looked up too, and then at me. "_Wow_. Wouldn't that be a _shocker_?"

I laughed as I flipped open my phone and dialled my house.

It rang only once before someone picked up.

"_Edward_?!" Ah, it was Alice.

"Hey, Alice," I greeted.

"_Where_ have you _been_?!" She demanded over the phone. "Do you have any _idea _what you've _put us_ through?!"

I tried to conceal my laughter. Alice was shouting so loud over the phone I was sure Bella could hear too, since she was laughing freely.

"I'm sorry, Alice. Bella and I—er, got lost."

Alice sighed heavily over the phone. "Well how did you expect us to know that, Edward, _huh_? Did you expect us to sit around for over an _hour_ while you are off _frolicking in the forest_?!"

I tried to stifle a chuckle. "Alice I said I was sorry--"

"Well sorry's not_ enough_, mister! If you think you can--"

"_Alice, dear, give me the phone,_" I heard Carlisle's muted voice in the background.

"But--" Alice protested, and I could almost see her disgruntled face.

"Edward? Are you and Bella alright?" It was Carlisle's voice now, nowhere near as angry as Alice's, but instead, concerned..

"We're fine, Carlisle. Do you mind having someone come to pick us up? We're in the school's parking lot," I told him, my eyes on Bella.

"Yes, Jasper's already on his way. You had us worried, son," he said, his voice disapproving.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle. We'll explain everything...later." I regretted that right away. What would we explain?

"Alright. We'll see you at home."

I pressed the "end" button on the phone.

"Bella," I started. "They're probably going to want to know why we were gone so long. I'll only do what you're comfortable with. It's your call."

Her smile faded and she thought for a moment. "Well...I guess I should tell them everything. I mean, I'm sure they would want to know. Well, your parents would, at least. Maybe I'll tell them everything at dinner." She sounded very sure of her plan.

"Are you sure, Bella? You don't have to do anything you're not ready for. I know telling me was a bit of a stretch for you already."

She shook her head. "No, I think I can do it. Anyway, you were right. Talking about it _does _help. I'm not afraid of it anymore." She paused. "Well... not completely unafraid. But I can handle telling them. If I did it once I can do it again."

I stepped over to her and put my hands on her shoulders. It felt so right, natural.

"Alright. And I'll be here for you every step of the way. I promise."

She smiled. "Thank you, Edward."

The rain started to fall, and we both looked up at the sky again. I used to hate the rain. But here—with this girl whom I loved with all my heart, more than my own life—I felt happy. I felt whole. I had always thought I'd had everything—a loving family, a home...but I had been wrong. Because now, at this moment, my world was complete. But that wasn't what was important. Bella's world was incomplete. She had my family, but it was a matter of her accepting them as her own family that was a different story. She had me, and she would always have me until the day she turned me away. And I would strive to be enough for her, and fill in the holes in her life as much as I could. I would strive to give her hope. Even if it was the last thing I ever did.

**A/N: Please review and tell me what you thought!!!!!! Thanks to everyone who already reviewed. You guys are the best!**


	10. Stories

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, but I wish I did.**

**Chapter Nine**

**_Bella's P.O.V._**

Edward and I were both drenched with rainwater by the time Jasper pulled up in Edward's silver Volvo.

I felt completely different. Like a whole new person. I was now getting used to the part of me that had been a stranger in the beginning—the part of me that felt happiness. At first, I had tried to run away because instinctively, I had to stay as far away as possible from the happy side of me. But Edward—my own, personal miracle who couldn't possibly return even half of the feelings I felt for him—had introduced me to this stranger, and I was loving every minute of it. My heart raced in anticipation as I felt Edward's hand tighten in my own, and I felt my face flush when he gently wrapped his arm around my waist, leading me to the car. I felt as if I belonged in his arms, like I was born to be held in them. I knew that these feelings—different, new, but extraordinary—would take some time to comprehend. And once I fully absorbed what I felt, I could _live_, for once. Live in happiness with Edward. That was all I needed. _He _was all I needed.

Edward opened the back door for me, and helped me get situated in my seat. Then, instead of sliding into the passenger seat, he walked around the car to sit next to me, and took my hand in his again.

"Hey, Jazz," Edward greeted Jasper.

In the rear-view mirror, I saw that Jasper's face was a mixture of confusion and amusement as he drove out of the lot.

"Er—hi Edward, Bella," he greeted back, undoubtedly realizing that we were holding hands.

I felt a sudden wave of self-consciousness, but Edward's gentle grip on my hand was too warm to break up.

"Hi," I murmured back, my teeth chattering, the cold mixture of the weather and rain taking over me.

Both Jasper and Edward realized this. Jasper turned up the heaters in front. Edward unbuckled me, and carefully peeled off my heavy, soaking-wet parka. He took off his own, too, throwing them both on the floor by his feet. He then wrapped his dry arm around me, pulling my body closer to his warm one. Yesterday, I would have flinched away from the gesture. Now, I snuggled in closer to him, inhaling his scent. It was amazing—a combination of the forest and sunshine, somehow.

"So...I'm guessing you two went on a very long walk, didn't you?" Jasper assumed, but there was a hint of teasing in his blue eyes.

I turned to Edward, not quite sure how to answer.

"Yes, we did. A _very_ long walk." Edward chuckled.

"You know that Carlisle and Esme were worried. And Alice is pissed, too. All Emmett cared about was rounding up a search party to look for you two. I just think he wanted an excuse to yell as loud as he could in the woods. Emmett's...easily amused," Jasper told us a matter-of-factly.

Edward smiled, no trace of concern on his face. "We just got a little caught up. We'll explain everything at dinner."

We eventually made it down the forest pathway that led to the Cullen's mansion of a home. Jasper pulled into the heated garage, and we slid out of the car, Edward carrying both of our soaked coats. Esme and Carlisle were waiting by the door.

Esme ran up to us first, her eyes wide.

"Edward Anthony! Don't you know to _call_ us if you decide to just run off into the woods for two hours? Honestly, I thought you knew better than that," Esme scolded. Her tone was not angry, but motherly.

"I'm sorry, Mom. It's just that...Bella and I got lost..." He trailed off, looking at me, not sure how much to say.

It was time for me to speak up. Edward had done so much for me today, and I had to help him now.

"Esme, it was my fault," I insisted, walking closer to where she and Edward were standing.

She looked at me, seeming very surprised. "No, dear, of course it wasn't..."

I shook my head and smiled a little. "Well, I went off running into the forest, and Edward chased after me. We...talked...and lost track of time."

Carlisle stepped forward and put his hand on his wife's shoulder. "It's perfectly alright, Bella," he said gently, as if I was going to cry or something any second. "Why don't we forget this whole thing and go have dinner?" He suggested, gesturing that everyone went in the house.

No. I didn't want this anymore. I didn't want to be treated like some fragile little human who would break at any second if spoken to too harshly. I was strong, and I wanted to be treated _normally. _For once in my life, I wanted to be normal. Carlisle had dropped the situation once they realized that I was to blame. I wasn't that fragile.

"Carlisle, Esme?" I asked suddenly, just as they were stepping into the house. I could feel Edward's hand on my own, which gave me the courage to continue speaking. "Do you mind if, at dinner, I...I talk to everyone about...something?" I tried to make my voice as friendly as possible, so they would notice that there indeed _was _a change in me.

They both turned around, seeming eager that I was speaking for once.

"Yes, of course, Bella," Carlisle agreed without hesitation. "We'll be eating shortly."

I smiled at him and Esme.

I felt a sudden wave of anxiety wash over me. I had to relive my past _again, _and this time, relive it in front of six other people, not just one. They would all know my secret.

I looked up at Edward, who was walking right next to me through the kitchen.

He stopped walking when he noticed my worried face. He waited until his parents left the kitchen so that we were alone.

He put his hands on my shoulders comfortingly. "You don't have to do this, Bella. No one's forcing you to do anything," he told me softly.

I shook my head, trying to compose my face. "No...no. I have to do this. They have a right to know. I'm done keeping secrets from your family. They've been so nice to me, and I've only pushed them away. They deserve to know."

Edward shook his head. "No one expects you to make up for something you couldn't help. But if you do really want them to know, then I'll tell them for you. Later on tonight, if you want, so _you_ don't have to talk about it again," he suggested.

I shook my head, yet the offer was tempting. "No. I have to. I can't run away from my past anymore. If I do, then it will just catch up to me and get the best of me, like it has for the last ten years. I'm not about to let that happen again." My voice cracked once, but I was determined not to cry.

"I won't ever let that happen," he murmured, and pulled me to his chest. I rested my face against him, trying to calm down. He held me tightly, making me feel safe.

We ended the embrace just as Emmett came in to tell us--very loudly that his booming voice echoed throughout the house and made my ears ring—that it was time for dinner. We followed him down the hallway and into the dining room, and I took a seat in between Alice, who looked very bitter, and Edward.

She looked past me and glared at Edward, and he laughed quietly.

Once everyone was seated, we started eating. There were small conversations at first, regarding school, the upcoming dance, and the usual things the Cullen siblings discussed with their parents at dinner. I was trying to find a time to tap into the conversation, but it would sound odd if I just randomly said, "_I am now going to tell you why I have been imitating a brick wall for the last three weeks_." I had to find a good time that wouldn't make the situation too awkward.

As dinner carried on, I never brought up anything. I felt extremely out of place, even with Edward sitting right next to me. All the happiness from earlier today was overpowered by awkwardness and anxiety. With Edward, things were easy to talk about. But with his family, whom I clearly wasn't as close with, it would take some courage.

Dinner was over before I knew it, and Esme was starting to clear the plates. Edward's brothers and sisters started to get up. I was prepared to just accept the fact that I wouldn't be talking about it tonight.

I started to slide out of my chair, too, but a hand gripped my wrist, pulling me back down. Edward hadn't gotten up from his seat yet.

"Excuse me, everyone. Would you all mind sitting down again for a moment?" Edward called in a nonchalant tone.

My heart started to beat ferociously in my chest, and I was afraid it would explode with anxiety. Could I do this? I wasn't sure. Maybe I should have had Edward talk to his parents about it in private...but it was too late to turn back now.

With a confused look on each one of their faces, the Cullen's sat back down in their original seats. Esme left all the dirty dishes in the sink joined us.

Carlisle was looking at the two of us knowingly. He knew the topic of my past was what we would be talking about.

Once everyone was situated, an awkward silence fell over the room. I wasn't sure if Edward expected me to speak first or not.

Luckily, he opened his mouth to talk. "So, Bella and I had a talk earlier today. That's why we were out so long," he told them. "And there's something Bella wants to tell you all. I will be here to help her if she needs it."

_Great_. Now everyone was looking at me.

I took a deep breath._ I could do this. I could do this_.

"Well...um...I've been really...it's probably been...odd...for you all to have me in your house, I'm guessing..." I trailed off, my cheeks turning red.

Alice shook her head right away. "No...Of course not, Bella. Why would you think that?" That grudge that she held against Edward she obviously didn't hold against me. She was just trying to be nice, I was certain.

I smiled a little at her. "Well, I've been sort of...depressed; I guess you could say...for ten years. It's not just you guys, honestly. I've been in foster homes for a decade, and I've just never really been happy. But, I guess you guys already know that...I've lived in Forks before. I was born here, actually. And I lived here for the first seven years of my life with my dad. I think you guys knew that, too. But my dad's the reason I left. You see, my dad wasn't like Carlisle at all," I said, smiling quickly to their adoptive father but then continuing. "My dad was...the total opposite. It's kind of a long story, and I haven't talked about it ever until earlier today. And...I think you all deserve to know. I've been keeping everyone shut out for too long."

Esme smiled warmly. "Tell us, dear. We're listening."

Alice smiled at me too, encouragingly.

And so I began my story. The way I told it to them was similar to the way I told it to Edward. I began with how my mother left when I was four, and how everything had seemed okay until Charlie started drinking a year later. I told them how Billy Black had accused my dad of abusing me, and how my dad had thrown me into a glass table a little while later. I told them about the scar. I didn't say, however, how the scar haunted me. Even though it was true, it seemed a little overdramatic to tell them. Besides, that was something between me and Edward. I ended with how Billy and Jacob had come in to my house and called the police, and how I went to the Menser House the next day. I told them how much Forks had frightened me, and how the only reason I had been so isolated in their home was because I didn't want to make any connections. I didn't mention, however, that I had already made a strong connection with their bronze-haired, green-eyed brother and son. That was a minor detail that somehow seemed out of place in the conversation. Besides, with Emmett's apparent excellent spying skills, they were bound to find out eventually.

At the end of my story, I was basically out of breath from speaking so much nonstop. Thankfully, I didn't shed one tear the entire time. However, Alice and Esme were a different story. They cried, especially when I described how Charlie had abused me. Once I finished, they both came around the table and threw their arms around me, seeming to be clinging on for dear life.

"How awful," Esme had murmured. "How could a father do such a thing to his baby?"

I felt sad that Esme, who seemed to only see the good in people, had to hear about a man who was nothing but good.

"It's too bad we weren't here ten years ago," Alice had said, gritting her teeth while she was hugging me. "I would have gone over there and kicked Charlie's butt myself!"

I had laughed at this, trying to imagine a seven year-old Alice, even smaller than she was now, trying to fight Charlie. She reminded me of a kitten who thought she was a tiger.

Emmett and Jasper were looking thoughtful on their end of the table. It was kind of depressing to see Emmett, who was usually goofing around and smiling every minute of the day, looking like he wanted to come over to me, hug me and cry just like his mother and sister were doing. Rosalie was sitting next to Emmett, a blank look on her face. I couldn't tell if she was angry or bored. Carlisle was a few steps behind Alice, Esme and I, with his hand on Edward's shoulder. Edward, whose help I hadn't needed once during the telling of my past, was smiling, seeming proud of me for accomplishing the feat. And, quite frankly, I was proud of me, too.

* * *

All the siblings watched a movie in Emmett's room that night. It was nice to get to know my current foster siblings a bit better, and they, too, were very curious about my past.

"So, why is it again that you didn't tell anyone what that...what your _dad..._was doing to you?" Jasper asked randomly in the middle of the movie.

I was snuggled to Edward's side on the huge king bed, where everyone else was sprawled out with their loved one. Alice was sitting in Jasper's lap, still upset over what she just heard. I wasn't completely sure why she was sadder over the situation than anyone else.

"Because..." I began, "I don't know. I guess since I was so young, I truly believed Charlie's threats when he warned me not to tell anyone. I didn't realize that the second I told someone, they would never send me back with him again."

Jasper nodded, considering that.

"It's so horrible, Bella," Alice sniffed. "What kind of father _threatens _their own daughter?"

I shrugged, feeling sorry for the pixie-like girl who cared about me more than I ever realized. Emmett turned the mute button on the television, noticing that nobody was that interested in it. He sat across the pillows with his arm around Rosalie.

"I'll tell you what kind of father does that," Emmett growled. "A father who is so drunk that they can't see their hand in front of their face!"

"But somehow Charlie used his hands to hit her," Rosalie pointed out, speaking for the first time. She didn't sound angry, but more so as if that fact had been obvious.

"You guys," I said, not wanting them all in a bad mood. "It's okay, really. I..." I thought quickly for a way to change the subject. "I want to know about all of your pasts. Where were you before you came to live with Carlisle and Esme?" I was curious. This was something I had actually never thought about before. I had always been too focused on my own past.

I saw Jasper smile a little bit. "Who wants to go first?"

Emmett raised his hand, seeming back to his goofy old self. "Oh, I do! I _have_ to tell you about the old fart I used to live with!"

That I had to laugh at. "Okay, Emmett. Tell me."

He smiled in anticipation, as if he was about to tell me a really good joke. "I came here about four years ago, just a year after Eddie-boy over here," Emmett remarked, jabbing his toe into Edward's shoulder, which Edward punched away jokingly. "My folks passed when I was a few months old. I was sent to live with my grandma—wasn't _she _a joy to be with. Not only was she mean as hell, but she smelled _terrible._"

I laughed again as he described her.

"Her house always smelled like dead cats, and so did she. She was obsessed with keeping things neat and clean, and if I stepped out of line once, it was nothing but spinach soup for a week," he described, shuddering. "When she died—well, let's just say I didn't miss her. _At all_."

Everyone laughed this time, but I was sure they'd heard this story a million times.

"The Cullen's were my first foster family, and my last. They're okay...I guess. Alice can be a little annoying--"

But he was interrupted when Alice had reached over Emmett and grabbed a pillow and shoved it in his face. Everyone laughed, and I was glad to see that her mood had shifted from angry and sad to happy.

"Nah, I'm just jokin'. Well, Alice _is_ annoying but I still love my family."

Alice hit him with the pillow again.

"How about Rose and Jazz tell their story now? It's nowhere _near _as exciting as _mine_, of course," Emmett said.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and scooted forward so she was in the central part of the humongous bed where everyone else sat.

"Sure. Do you want to start?" Rosalie asked her twin.

Jasper shrugged. "Doesn't matter. You can, if you want to."

Rosalie nodded and began to speak. "Em was right, our story isn't that exciting. Our dad left us when we were born, and our mom got really sick when we were three. She didn't have a stable job, either, and her physical and financial health was too low for her to raise us. We came here when we were five, and we were the first kids Carlisle and Esme adopted." She said that as if she were proud to be the first.

I smiled at her, and she smiled back.

"That's so sad about your mom, though..." I trailed off, looking at Jasper and Rosalie sympathetically.

Jasper smiled. "It's alright. It was healthier for both her and us to be apart. We're very happy here," he assured me.

"What about you, Alice?" I asked, looking at the girl who had situated herself back into Jasper's lap.

"Well, I don't remember it very well. All I know was that my parents left me in their run-down, old house and never came back. I don't know why, but it's okay. I mean, Carlisle and Esme are the best parents in the universe."

My eyes were wide. "Who would _do _that to their kid? Just leave them there like that? That's horrible."

Alice's eyes grew sad. "What happened to you was worse, Bella," she pointed out.

I shook my head. "That doesn't mean what happened to you was any better, Alice."

She smiled a little, though her eyes were still sad. "Well, Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time. And I have Jasper. So, even though what happened to me sucked, quite frankly, I still got my happy ending."

I thought about that for a moment. I, too, could have a happy ending. I mean, yes, what happened to me was horrible. But it was also ten years ago. Did I really want to wait until I was eighteen to be free? That meant another year of foster homes, and another year of depression. Yes, it _would_ be depressing, because I wouldn't be with Edward. And, honestly, I wouldn't be with the Cullen's, which would add to the depression. My main goal had been not to make connections here, and of course, I knew the second I started to tell Edward about my past that my goal had been broken. I trusted Edward more than I trusted myself.

Edward had told me that Carlisle and Esme loved me as their own daughter. That had to mean that their love was unconditional, considering I hadn't done much to earn their love. That had never happened to me before. I had never felt loved by anyone. And Edward loved me...I was pretty sure. And I loved him, of course. I loved him more than I thought was possible.

So how could I just leave the Cullen's? After everything today, I wasn't as afraid as I was a week ago. When Edward had placed his lips on my arm, he had kissed away _most_ of my fears of Charlie Swan, but they would never be completely gone—I knew that. Because although the very town of Forks, or my scar, didn't haunt me anymore, the mere memories did, and they always would. How would leaving the Cullen's after six months change that? If anything, I felt more at peace with my past when I was with Edward, not away from him...

I needed time to think.

Luckily, I had time. I had five months and one week to make a decision. By then, hopefully I would be sure of my choice. But, for right now, I was tired. I'd had a long day, and for once, I was actually anxious to get into bed and sleep. I knew that I wouldn't cry tonight, because I had no reason to. I wasn't afraid anymore.

I saw Emmett yawn, which made me yawn. Jasper yawned after me, and soon everyone was yawning. Then, we were laughing.

"Yawns are so_ contagious_!" Alice exclaimed.

"Maybe we should go to bed," Edward suggested, speaking for the first time in a while.

I nodded in agreement. "Yeah. I'm exhausted."

"Me too," Rosalie agreed.

After saying goodnight to everyone, Edward and I walked down the hallway to our bedrooms, which were the on the opposite side of the house from everyone else's. He held my hand as we walked.

"You did great tonight, Bella," he remarked. "Absolutely wonderful."

I shrugged, blushing a little. "Your family deserved to know."

"But they weren't expecting so much in one night," Edward explained. "You've opened up so much to them, and they couldn't be happier. They really do love you. All of them."

We were standing outside our bedroom doors now, in the dark hallway.

"Goodnight, Bella," Edward whispered.

Yes, tonight would be a good night. "You too, Edward. Sleep well."

Then, right then and there, I wanted Edward to kiss me. I had never been kissed before, unless you counted Edward kissing my forearm in the meadow today, but other than that, I'd never felt close enough to anyone to want to even think about kissing them. But now was so perfect. It would feel _right _if Edward kissed me. I was nervous, because I was new to the whole being-in-love thing. But nothing felt more right than this moment.

But instead, Edward simply hugged me around my waist briefly, and then slipped off into his bedroom. I stood there, deliberating for a moment what had gone wrong, and then went into my own dark bedroom. I closed the door and stood there in the pitch-blackness for a moment, thinking.

What if what happened in the meadow had not been what I'd thought? I had told Edward I loved him—something I'd thought I'd never admit to him, but he never said he loved me back. What if he didn't? I couldn't relay on the fact that just because he was so caring towards me meant he was in love with me. What if he only thought of me as a _foster sister_? That would be...unendurable. My life would be back to where it was before I came here—dull, depressing, and meaningless. Maybe even worse than that.

I pulled on my pajamas in the dark and slid under the covers. Maybe this wouldn't be such a great night after all.

* * *

I don't remember when I fell asleep, but when I woke up, I was sweating.

The dream—the nightmare—had seemed so _real._ It was as if Charlie had really been there; ready to renact the events from that night ten years ago. Only this time, I was seventeen, not seven. But I still couldn't defend myself. I was kicked in the stomach over and over...and though I felt no pain I knew that I was hurting...and then he proceeded to kick me in the face...

And that's where my nightmare had ended.

I hadn't known I was dreaming. It was as if I really was being abused again. Everything had seemed so real...

And that's when the tears fell. I couldn't escape Charlie. I couldn't escape my past. I knew that. But I didn't want to relive it _every night_. I couldn't bear it. The tears fell heavily and unstoppably.

My whole body shook with sobs. I couldn't comprehend the pain that the realistic nightmare had given me emotionally.

I lifted the left sleeve of my shirt up with trembling fingers, and, although I couldn't see the scar in the darkness, I could almost feel it. The moon-shaped mark forever engraved on my skin.

I tried to remember the brightness at the end of the dark tunnel, when Edward had kissed the pain off my scar, but now I couldn't be sure what those kisses meant.

My pitch-black room was the dark tunnel, and Edward's room next door was the only thing that could be the brightness I so desperately craved.

I swung my legs out of bed, hardly thinking of what I was doing. I glanced at my digital alarm clock, reading that it was only one-thirty in the morning. I had only slept for an hour and a half.

I stumbled in the darkness, blindly looking for the door. When I felt the cold metal of the knob, I twisted it open, and stepped out into the dark hallway. Edward's room was not five steps away.

I didn't care if he didn't love me the same way I loved him. I needed to be with him right now. I needed him to hold me as much as I needed air to breathe. Maybe more.

I knocked quietly at the door, wondering if he was asleep.

Luckily, I heard footsteps coming from the other side, and Edward slowly opened the door, a pair of reading glasses I had never seen him wear over his eyes.

"Bella?" He asked, seeming surprised. "You should be asleep."

"I'm s-sorry that I w-woke y-you," I stammered, my voice choked with tears.

"Don't worry, you didn't. Bella, why are you crying?" He asked, seeming completely unconcerned of the hour. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and I was home.

I buried my face into his chest, a few stray tears leaking from my eyes.

Before I could comprehend what was going on, Edward slid his arm under my knees, and his other around my shoulders, picking me up and carrying me like a baby into his bedroom. He shut the door behind him with his foot and sat me on the bed. I noticed a small lamp was on next to his bed, along with a book that was bookmarked with a pencil. Edward had been reading, so luckily I hadn't woken him.

As I tried to blink my tears away, Edward walked over to the other side of the bed and laid down next to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"Bella, what is it?" He asked, his voice very soft and concerned.

"I..." How did I explain this without making myself look like a little girl who just had a bad dream? "I...Charlie...when I fell asleep...I..." I stammered, not sure how to explain.

Naturally, Edward understood right away. "Did you have a nightmare, Bella?"

I nodded as another tear rolled down my face.

"Oh, Bella. I'm sorry. So sorry."

I tried to hold back another sob, but I couldn't contain it once it escaped through my lips. "Bella...Bella..." Edward breathed, moving his hand to wipe the tears from my eyes. "It was only a dream, just a dream..." he murmured, his sweet breath on my face.

It took me a few minutes to calm down, but eventually my tears ceased and I lay comfortably in Edward's arms, trying to focus on him rather than the horrid man in my dreams.

Edward was wearing dark blue pajama pants and an oversided shirt. Even in his pajamas and reading glasses he looked like a god.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked eventually, still stroking my hair.

I nodded. "Yes," I said again, my voice back to normal.

Edward didn't ask what the dream was about, for which I was glad.

"I'm sorry if I disturbed your reading," I murmured. "I'll just go back to my room--"

"No, you don't," he said, grabbing my wrist as I started to unwillingly get up. "Stay here tonight, Bella. I want to be here for you in case you have another nightmare."

I felt a wave of relief wash over me. So he _wanted_ me to stay with him tonight. That was a good sign...maybe.

"I didn't think I'd have another nightmare tonight," I admitted to Edward sheepishly as I laid back down next to him.

He tightened his arms around me. "It'll get better, Bella. I promise."

I snorted. "You'd think that I'd be so used to the nightmares by now that I would be immune to them. But it seems that they only get worse. Why am I such a wimp?" I ask rhetorically.

Edward shook his head. "You're not a wimp, Bella. In fact, you're the bravest person I know."

"Brave?" I scoffed. "I'm not brave at all."

"Of course you are," Edward insisted. "Not many people would be able to handle everything you've gone through, Bella. You did, though."

"Well, _you _helped," I pointed out. "A lot."

He smiled. "But you had it in you. You just needed a push."

I shrugged. "Maybe." Then I yawned.

"Are you tired?" Edward asked, eyeing the glowing lamp.

I shook my head. "Not yet. Do you mind if I ask you a question?" I had a question in mind, one that had been in the back of my head for a while.

"Sure."

"Can you tell me about your past?"

Edward knit his eyebrows. "Hmm. I guess I never did tell you, did I?"

"No."

He sighed. "Well, I was twelve when I was in a car accident with my parents. It was in winter, and our car slid over a patch of ice and slammed into a tree head-on. I survived since I was sitting in the backseat, but my parents, Elizabeth and Edward, did not."

I gasped. "Oh, my gosh...Edward...I'm so _sorry_." I felt another tear leaking out of my eye when I heard this.

He smiled and wiped the tear away. "Don't be." He paused for a moment, then continued. "Anyway, I kept my sadness and anger bottled up for months. I hated myself. I thought that I, too, should have died in the accident along with my parents. I missed them so much...That was until I met Carlisle and Esme. They introduced me to their family who lived in Denali, Alaska at the time. It helped knowing that Jasper, Rosalie, and Alice were foster children, too. I had something in common with them. I talked to my foster parents about what had happened to my real parents, and they helped me cope with it. They also gave me love and support, and told me that they respected any decision I made regarding whether or not I would become a part of their family. I wanted to stay with them, though. Esme and Carlisle were the most loving parents I could have asked for." Edward didn't falter once as he explained this. He, obviously, was perfectly at peace with his past.

I smiled, glad that he had a happy ending just like all of his siblings. Then I yawned again.

"You're tired, Bella. Sleep." He reached over and switched off the lamp. Then, after removing his glasses, he reached back over and set them on the nightstand. He then pulled the covers around both of us. It was very warm and very dark in his room. I felt safe. So safe.

I was about to drift into oblivion, and I felt a light pressure on my forehead. Edward's lips?

I had to know, and I had to know _now_. I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if I didn't know the truth. If the truth hurt me...well, it wasn't as if I wasn't used to pain. But I had to know. I couldn't keep guessing.

"Edward?" I whispered into the darkness.

"Yes, Bella?" He whispered back, right into my ear.

I took a deep breath. "Do you remember when earlier today in the meadow, you asked if I loved you?"

He chuckled quietly. "Yes..."

I took another deep breath, my heart racing frantically in anticipation. "And you remember how I said yes?"

"Yes, Bella."

I wished I could see his face. He sounded confused.

"Well, I was just wondering if...by chance...that maybe...well...um...I was wondering if..." I trailed off, not sure how to phrase the question.

"You were wondering what, Bella?"

I sighed. Well, what better way to ask it than to steal his own line from earlier today?

"Edward? Do you love me?"

**A/N: MWA HAHAHA cliff hanger. Wow, I can't believe I finsihed this whole chapter today. Thank you guys SOOO much for your reviews. I think the ones for the last chapter were the nicest ones I've ever gotten. You guys are the best. Keep reviewing!!!!!!!!!**


	11. Facing the Future

**A/N Alright, so it's been what, 3 months since I last updated? I think that's a new record. Soooo sorry! School started and I had a huge writers block. I promise I will update sooner from now on!! For those of you who have stuck with this story: thank you!!! I have not forgotten about it, and I am determined to be a faster updater. Please keep reviewing!!! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.**

**Chapter Ten**

**_Edward's P.O.V_**

"_Edward? Do you love me?"_

The quiet, easy atmosphere of the room quickly went away the second the words escaped Bella's lips. It wasn't as if I had been dreading her insinuating the topic of our relationship. Obviously, the affection we felt towards each other was mutual. She was more than merely the girl whose room was next to mine, who was my foster sister. So much more. Had I, for a moment within the last twenty four hours, caused her to think that I thought any less of her than that? I almost shuddered at the horrifying thought.

No, I hadn't been dreading the question. I had been expecting it, since I knew that she loved me (the same way I loved her, I was sure). I was such a horrible person! For ten years of her life, Bella's always been unsure. Unsure of where she belonged, unsure of who loved her and who didn't. Unsure of where she would end up, unsure of who she could be. And now, I had just realized that I had caused her yet _another _insecurity. I hadn't told her I loved her when I should have, which would have been earlier today in the meadow. Therefore, she had been completely unsure, confused, and wondering. How could I have done that to her?

I had to tell her. Now. There was nothing stopping me. School, Charlie Swan, and the protective walls Bella had built around herself were nonexistent. It was her, Bella, in my arms, where she belonged. The rest of the world didn't matter.

"Isabella..." I breathed, loving the way her full name felt coming out of my mouth. "If you thought that for one second I never loved you, you are terribly mistaken."

The words seemed simple, yet I prayed she understood.

She sighed, seeming a little frustrated.

"Edward...do you really...like...I guess what I'm trying to say is...well, am I different...from Alice and Rosalie? Because I know you love them, too, as sisters..." She trailed off, her cheeks a beautiful red.

I chuckled, gently pulling her chin to the side so she was looking at me. Her eyes never ceased to astound me. I would never forget them for as long as I lived. "Bella, you have to understand that...you're more than what I feel for my sisters. I love them, but I'm _in_ love with you." I paused for a moment. "Didn't you know that?"

She was silent. Her eyes bore into mine, as if waiting for me to give her the punch line.

I stared at her, unsure of what to say.

She spoke up after a moment. "Edward...I...you...you can't be...I can't believe...I..." She turned her face away from mine, so I couldn't see her expression.

Bella didn't believe me. I told her I loved her, and she was too insecure to believe me. My entire being craved to show her just how much I needed her—she was like the light in my life I had never known was missing. She had to know that.

"Bella," I whispered, and I was afraid for a moment that my intenseness would frighten her. I smiled impishly, putting a relaxed expression on my face. "Will you trust me? Can you?"

It wasn't until after I had asked the question when I realized the meaning of it. Bella had said that she loved me. But Bella hadn't trusted anyone, ever. Not her mom, her dad, or her friends. Not teachers, not social workers. And especially not her past foster families. I clung to the hope that she felt differently about my family in the few moments of silence that passed as I awaited her answer.

She nodded slowly, her eyebrows scrunching together as if she was thinking through her response. "...Yes. I trust you. Very much, Edward." Honesty rang in every word.

I smiled. "Well, that's good. Because I don't want you to _ever _feel unsafe, or unloved. I love you, Bella." I barely noticed that my voice started to soften as I finished my sentence.

And then, for the second time, Bella responded, "I love you, too."

Following that note, we both drifted off into oblivion.

* * *

"RISE AND SHINE, EDDIE BOY!!!"

I groaned, opening my eyes for a brief moment and then shutting them again tightly to keep out the sunlight. I was used to this; Emmett's not-so-subtle routine of waking me up too early on a Saturday morning.

Bella, however, was not. She bolted straight up, jostling me a bit, and gasped. I opened my eyes a crack and almost laughed. She looked tense, as if ready for an attack. I grinned and pulled her down gently by her shoulder back onto her pillow.

"It's just Emmett," I told her in a whisper. "He'll get bored eventually. I'm sorry he scared you."

Bella chuckled. "Well, it wouldn't be the first time."

I laughed too, merely at the very sound of her musical laughter that filled my ears with a harmony I could not use words to describe. "Uh oh. What else did he do?"

She opened her mouth, as if to speak, but then shut it again, and the look of clear discomfort, unsure insecurity, washed over her face. I stiffened. What had Emmett _done_ to her? I would make him pay—and I had never once had a violent thought towards a family member until this moment, when I believed Emmett had done something to scare or sadden Bella. Yes, Emmett would pay.

"Bella?" I asked, concerned. "What did Emmett do?" My voice was harsh, intense.

Perhaps Bella realized that I was half prepared to jump out of bed and attack my brother just by the tone of my voice, because her expression softened and she smiled a little.

"No, no. Nothing, he just...well, nevermind. Forget I even said anything."

All of my previous worries vanished, and now I was merely curious. "What? You can tell me, Bella."

Bella sighed, surrendering. "I...Well, you remember the night we went out to dinner in Port Angeles?"

I nodded. Of course I remembered. It was the night when I had been certain—beyond certain—that I was in love with Bella. It had been that night, though, when she said she had hated me.

"Well," Bella continued, her voice hesitant. "That next morning, I...I know you meant to have a _private_ conversation with your parents...but...I..." She trailed off.

"...You overheard," I finished for her.

She nodded.

Yes, I remembered that morning, too. By that point, I had known about Bella's past. But I knew I had to tell my parents—maybe not exactly her entire story, but simply that Bella had been through a lot. And though I was under the impression that Bella had been in bed at the time, I wasn't the least bit upset that she had heard. I was relieved, actually, that she had known that more people had been on her side than she would have thought.

"So, where does Emmett come into play in all of this?" I asked in a light tone, to show Bella I wasn't at all upset with her.

"He snuck up on me while I was...listening. He accused me of spying....which, I guess I was...I _am_ sorry about that."

I shook my head. "Don't be sorry, Bella. Don't be sorry at all." I didn't want her to feel bad about this. About anything, for that matter.

"...Anyways," she continued, "he started going on about his love for Cocoa Puffs. How he needed to claim his share before Jasper did. He was so loud, and I was afraid you or Esme or Carlisle would hear and know what I was doing." She smiled and shook her head.

I chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds like Em." And then I took her hand and we walked down the stairs together.

* * *

I pulled Bella's chair out for her at the big dining room table where Carlisle, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett were sitting. Esme and Rosalie were in the kitchen preparing breakfast. I noticed everyone was still clad in the pajamas, and I was glad. Today could be an easy, laid-back day, for once.

"Good morning, you two," Carlisle greeted, smiling at us from the head of the table. "Sleep well?"

Before we could answer, Emmett chimed in. "I'd say they did! I went into Bella's room to wake her up and she wasn't there! I'll bet you two slept _great_ last night," he bellowed, winking towards us.

Just as I was about to get up and attack him as violently as I had been thinking of earlier, Esme and Rose came out of the kitchen, both with platters in their arms full of food.

Bella, whose face was a bright red from Emmett's comment, stood up right away as for something to do. "Oh, let me help with that!" She insisted, but tripped over her chair's leg and fell in Rosalie's direction. Rose struggled to keep the heavy looking platter in her arms as Bella almost knocked it out, but luckily, Bella caught her fall just in time.

Emmett and Jasper were roaring with laughter and Bella's face was at least five times redder than it had been seconds ago.

Carlisle came over and took the platter from Rosalie's hands, and I stood up to direct Bella back to her seat so she didn't fall again.

"Are you alright?" I asked, concerned.

She nodded, her blush deepening even more, if possible. "Yeah." She turned to Rose. "Sorry about that."

Rose chuckled. "Don't worry about it."

Emmett, however, found it much funnier than his girlfriend did.

"How do you trip over a _CHAIR?_!" He bellowed, his body shaking with uncontrollable laughter.

"Get over it, Em," I muttered to him, but he didn't hear me over his roaring laughs.

"I mean, _SERIOUSLY! _You honestly can't get out of a _CHAIR_ without falling? That's _hilarious_!" He chuckled harder.

Bella's face was as red as ever, and she did not speak. I felt suddenly awful for what she was experiencing from my siblings.

I took her hand gently in mine. "Just ignore Emmett," I told her, a very good piece of advice she should know if she would be staying with us. "He thinks _everything's_ funny."

Bella, being the unfathomably strong person that she was, smiled and started to laugh along with Emmett. "Well, Emmett," she said, her voice sounding light and happy, "I guess the real question is, how do I _not _trip over a chair?"

Carlisle and Esme laughed, and I was guessing it wasn't because of Bella's confession of being clumsy. They seemed just as thrilled to see Bella smiling as I was.

"Well, let's start breakfast, shall we?" Asked Esme.

* * *

_Bella's P.O.V._

"This is great, Esme," commented Carlisle as we ate breakfast.

Esme smiled warmly. "Rosalie helped too, dear."

Carlisle looked fondly at his blond daughter. "This is great, Rosalie."

Rosalie smiled and shrugged.

That reminded me.

"Um, Rosalie? Esme? I...I just wanted to thank you...I...never did before...for my bedroom. It—it's really great. I really like it." I had assumed that Rosalie and Esme had decorated it before my arrival. I wanted to show them how grateful I was for the family's graciousness towards me ever since I got here. Although I could not express it in words I knew that saying simple thank you's would show them a little of my gratitude.

Esme and Rosalie both beamed.

"Thanks Bella!" Smiled Rosalie, looking like she wanted to come over and hug me.

"We're glad you like it, dear," said Esme.

"So," Carlisle started. "What's on the agenda for today?"

"Video games," Emmett said at once.

Jasper nodded, agreeing. "Yep. We'll be taking down some more purple monkeys today."

Emmett and Jasper both made a fist and hit their knuckles together in a determined, victorious way. Rosalie and Alice rolled their eyes.

"And you girls? Any plans?" Carlisle asked Alice, Rosalie and me.

I was about to say no, but Alice spoke up.

"_Well..._I was thinking we could go shopping!" Her face brightened automatically as she spoke the word. "After all, Bella does need new clothes _desperately, _and I would hate to see her have to wear Rose's clothes for another day. She _needs _her own."

I suppressed a groan. Shopping. I hated shopping. What happened to the calm, relaxing day I had envisioned being spent with Edward? Well...it would make Alice happy. It was the least I could do for her.

"So, will you come?"Alice asked in the most anxious voice I'd ever heard, her brown eyes wide with hope.

I nodded. "I'd love to."

She squealed with delight. "Yay! I can't wait. Now, I know every single store we'll have to go to. You'll definitely want a new pair of jeans and you are in a _desperate _need of shoes. And we'll probably need to get you a new raincoat too..." She trailed off, seeming to be thinking hard.

"Sorry to interrupt you, dear," Esme started. "I do think shopping is a very good idea, but Carlisle and I also have an idea for today—for Bella."

Carlisle sounded hesitant as he spoke. "Now, Bella, if the idea is too much for you to even think of then you can forget we mentioned it, but Esme and I were talking last night. And we both think it'd be a good idea for you to go to La Push today. To see Billy and Jacob Black. From hearing your story, it sounds like they cared and still do care a lot about you, and they're probably wondering how you've been doing. What do you think?"

I resisted the urge to raise my eyebrows. My head was spinning, and it took me a moment to process Carlisle and Esme's request.

Go to the Black's house? Seriously?

_No._

No more ties. No more connections.

Too much, and in such a short time...

What would Billy say, when he saw me on the other side of his old, ripped screen door?

What would Jacob think, when he saw me—a good foot or so taller than the last time we were together?

_No._

I struggled to say the right words to politely reject my foster parents' idea. "Carlisle, Esme," I said quietly, feeling my hands shaking. "I—I don't think...it would just be...I—I can't."

Esme nodded, smiling sadly. "We understand perfectly. We can't imagine how hard it is—having to deal with all of this in two days...but dear, maybe you could consider it for the future. I'm sure that the Blacks would like to see you."

I nodded, doubting that would ever happen. I didn't need to see the Blacks. I didn't _want_ to see them.

I shook my head, feeling wetness in my eyes threatening to spill over. "No. I'm sorry. I can't."

An unbearably uncomfortable silence passed, and finally someone spoke up.

"_I_ think you're just scared." The voice was cold, accusing. I was speechless.

Rosalie was practically glaring at me from the opposite end of the table, and I was taken back. She had seemed fairly nice the night before—maybe not _as_ friendly as Alice, but friendly enough. She looked...fierce, now. Beautiful, but fierce.

"Rose!" Carlisle said warningly, his face stern.

She pretended not to hear him. "You don't _want_ to face your past. You're scared of your past. You want to run away from it. You think you can just _tell us_ all of this and think that we won't pay any attention to it because we're afraid of scaring you! Bella, if you're going to be living with us for five more months, I don't plan on spending it walking on eggshells with you. Just_ go_ to the Black's house. I'm pretty sure they won't hurt you. They might even tell you things you want to know; more about what happened ten years ago. You have to face your past—because if you don't, you'll never face your future. We all did!" She exclaimed, gesturing towards her siblings. "And although your past was a _hell_ of a lot harder than ours, you still have to face it! You won't ever be happy if you don't."

The room was deathly silent. A pin dropped from the floor above us could have been heard. The tears that had once flooded my eyelids had dried. My heart was beating ferociously with anticipation and anxiousness.

I took a deep breath.

"I'll need to borrow a car."

* * *

I must have completely lost it. What was I thinking? How had I agreed to do this? Just because Rosalie was right—one hundred percent correct, actually—it didn't mean I _had_ to listen to her. I didn't have to do it right. I could just do it the easy way...stay home.

I fumbled with the buttons of my borrowed blouse with shaking hands, noticing how much paler I was, if at all possible. It must have been from the unimaginable thing I was about to do—go to La Push.

Carlisle had offered to let me take his car for the drive. I knew how to get to La Push and I remembered the exact house Billy and Jacob lived in. Getting there wouldn't be a problem. _Being _there...however, would be a different story.

I pulled a brush through my tangled hair, ignoring the searing pain to my head as it yanked through the knots.

What would I say to them? _"Hi, I'm back! By the way, thanks for making sure my dad didn't kill me. So, how have you two been?"_

Unimaginable.

I slipped my shoes on and went downstairs. Carlisle and Esme were in the kitchen, obviously waiting for me—to console me.

Esme put her hands on my cheeks in a warm, motherly way. In a way that desperately made me want to stay home. "Bella." Her voice was soft. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Don't let what Rosalie said pressure you. You can make your own choices."

But I had to let what Rosalie said pressure me. Because if I didn't, there would be no way out. I would be stuck in a content, yet not happy gap between my past and my future. And my future, from what I could see, was Edward. But I needed to know more about my father. It was inevitable that I knew.

"Rosalie was right," I insisted in my strongest voice—which wasn't very strong at all. "I have to do this."

Esme's light blue eyes were soft. "You'll be alright, dear. Everything will be fine."

I nodded.

I turned around, then, to see Edward waiting by the door. I hadn't even noticed him!

"Are you ready?" His coat was on and his car keys were in his hand.

I knit my eyebrows. "You're coming with me?"

"Only if you want me to."

I thought for a moment, picturing me walking into the Black's house without Edward. I couldn't.

"I do," I told him, hoping my small voice didn't make me sound like a five year old.

Edward held his hand out to me and I took it, and together we walked into the garage and into his car.

We drove down the forest's path and onto the main road in silence. Eventually, I recognized that we were getting nearer and nearer to La Push. My hands, sweaty yet cold, were jumbled together in my lap. I took deep, quiet breaths, not wanting to let on to Edward how anxious I was.

"We're almost there, Bella," he informed me.

I nodded.

He took my nod as a confirmation that I was freaking out. He took one hand off the steering wheel and placed it over my intertwined fingers. They warmed up instantly.

"You'll do wonderfully, Bella. You'll see."

I shook my head. "I—I don't know what I'll say to them."

"You'll know what to say. Don't worry, Bella. Did I mention how impressed I am that you're doing this? No one expected you to do all this in two days. Honestly, I wish Rose had kept her mouth shut, and not pressured you."

I shook my head again. "No, but she was right. I...I'm glad she did." And I was. In a way, I wished she hadn't spoken up, either, but I had needed her to.

Edward nodded, considering that. "So far things for you have been turning out alright. I don't see how this will be any different. And I'll be with you the whole time, Bella. I promise."

That did help. "Thanks," I said. Edward would never know how grateful I was for his presence, let alone his words of encouragement.

Before I knew it, we were in La Push. Edward calmly asked for the directions to the Black's street leading up to his house.

The little one-story house with a wooden fishing boat leaded against it looked exactly the same as it did ten years ago. Edward pulled into the path, the clinks and clangs of small pebbles hitting the outside of the car sounding very familiar.

We got out of the car and Edward took my hand again, squeezing it gently.

"You can do it," he murmured, his green eyes boring into mine with such intensity that I almost forgot for a moment what he was talking about.

Then together, we proceeded up the path and the two narrow porch steps, just as I used to do a decade before. Edward rang the doorbell, seeing that I was in no condition to do so. After a year, or two, or maybe even a century, the front door squeaked open.

"Bella."

**A/N And yet another cliffhanger. I promise I will try to update sooner than 3 months this time!! Please please please review! Thanks!!**


	12. Of Questions, Answers and Pianos

**A/N: I just wanted to thank Pink Mouse Dudette for pointing out a somewhat major error in this story. As we all know, no writer is perfect. We all have room for improving. While writing chapter 9, I got so excited in describing Bella's past that I completely forgot about another mentioning of her past in a previous chapter that clashed with the description Bella gave Edward in the meadow. In chapter 3, I wrote that the teacher investigates about the mysterious cut on Bella's arm. Then in chapter 9, something completely different happens; Billy and Jacob find Bella in her house with her arm cut up. So, for those of you who noticed that error and were confused—my bad. Just think of that little passage in chapter 3 as the day when Bella's friends and teachers realized that something is wrong at her house, but by then it is too late because she leaves Forks. Billy and Jacob were the FIRST people to notice Charlie's abuse, NOT the teacher or Angela. They noticed a day later, on Bella's last day in Forks. So sorry for the confusion!! Despite this slight issue, please don't stop reading this story! I'm thankful for each critique and compliment I get—it keeps me going. You guys are the best!!! I hope you enjoy (and hopefully find it mistake-free) chapter eleven!!!**

**~Pupskt~**

**Chapter Eleven**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But I really wish I did.**

**Bella's P.O.V.**

Billy Black looked exactly the same as he did the last time I saw him, ten years ago. His hair was still dark and long, his face was still worn and wise, and he was still in his wheelchair. It didn't see real, at first, until my eyes came into focus. This was _Billy_, my father's best friend. Possibly the closest person to my father in Washington besides me.

I forgot to respond at the sound of my name.

"Bella," Billy said simply, seeming just as awestruck as I was.

I nodded, not exactly sure how to move my mouth.

"Uh—Jake? Jacob!" Billy called back into the house, yet he was still looking at me.

I heard a muted door opening from the inside. "Yeah?"

"Come out here a second...would you?"

Just as I had suspected, Jacob had grown at least two feet since the last time I saw him. His dark hair hung just at his shoulders and he had to duck under the doorway so he didn't hit his head as he came outside. His face was frozen in shock.

There was a moment of strange silence until Billy spoke.

"It's Bella, Jacob."

It was kind of obvious that Jacob knew that already. He ignored his father, and kept on staring at me with the greatest look of surprise.

"Why—why don't you come on in, Bella?" Asked Billy in a more conversational tone. "We can...catch up."

I nodded and waited for Billy to wheel himself in the opposite direction and down the short, narrow hallway. It wouldn't have occurred to me to follow him if Edward hadn't gently given me a pull into the house. I let him lead as I mentally begged myself to know what I was doing.

Edward and I took a seat on the little sofa and Jacob on the recliner chair. Billy sat across the coffee table in his wheelchair.

We all stared at each other for a moment, each one of us seeming to analyze whether the situation was real or not. I would have to thank Edward later. I couldn't imagine sitting in this room with two loved ones from my past, alone.

"It's...been a while, Bella," said Billy after a few moments. "You're seventeen now, right?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"So's Jacob."

I nodded, finding myself unable to make eye contact with Jacob just yet.

"So, you're back in Forks now?" Asked Billy lightly, although I could hear the tension in his voice.

I nodded again. "Yes."

More silence.

I knew it was my time to do the talking. Rosalie, I was finding, was becoming more and more right with each second of passing silence. It was time to face my past.

"Billy," I said, my voice sounding normal enough. "You were my dad's best friend. I—I need answers. Please. You're the only one who can give them to me."

Billy nodded. "Yeah, I figured you might be down here wanting to know some things. What do you want to know?"

I thought for a moment. What _did_ I want to know?

* * *

**Edward's P.O.V.**

Bella's face, although deathly white, was calm, relaxed. Although, I could only imagine how she was feeling on the inside. What did it feel like, I wondered, to see what must have been an old ghost of her past? Faces she had blocked from her mind, as if those faces would bring it all back. Bring _Charlie_ back. If I ever encountered that sorry excuse for a man—that monster...well, _I_ would certainly be the last thing Charlie ever encountered. He could consider himself lucky to be in jail. He would face far worse in my presence.

But I was here for Bella. Not to ensure Charlie Swan's misery that he deserved.

Bella was hesitant, nervous as she spoke. "...Well, um...I guess you could tell me...where my dad is. Is he still in jail?"

I realized I'd never considered the possibility that Charlie might not have been in jail. I wasn't exactly sure how long people went to jail for something like hitting a child...

Billy thought for a moment, and then sighed. "Your father received a ten-year sentence in a jail in Seattle. Then a year of parole. You probably don't know this either, Bella, but he's not allowed to come anywhere near you. A restraining order was included in Charlie's charges. He's not allowed in Forks."

Bella nodded, absorbing the information. Then, her eyebrows scrunched together. "Wait—Charlie went to jail _ten_ years ago. If Charlie was arrested in January a decade ago...and now it's almost the end of January ten years _later_..." she trailed off, not looking at Billy, Jacob, or me. She stared out the window as her lips formed an _o, _a look of recognition coming over her face. The very scene created more impact than it would have if Bella had screamed. Her pale face contorted in terror.

Ten years had gone by exactly. Charlie's jail sentence was over.

Billy looked alarmed by the looks on our faces and raised his arms, as if to calm us. He shook his head. "No, no...Bella. Charlie _won't _come near you. He can't—he's on parole for another year. Even entering Forks would be violating his probation. He can't touch you. He can't hurt you," Billy's voice was pleading—pleading with Bella to not be afraid.

I laid a reassuring hand over Bella's, trying to calm myself down, too. Her hand, I hadn't noticed until now, was shaking. I grasped it in my own and held it tightly.

"No one would ever let anything happen to you, Bella. You know that," I murmured, knowing very well that Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett would stand alongside me if Charlie were to reappear.

Bella simply nodded, looking at me with trusting eyes, although still seeming unsure.

Billy waited a moment before he spoke. "What else, Bella? I'll tell you anything I know, I promise you that."

Bella stared at him, overwhelmed. "I—I don't know what else there is to ask..." she explained. She opened her mouth again to say something, but closed it when she couldn't find the right words.

Billy nodded, understanding. "You know, Bella...I remember that day, the last day we saw you. You looked so...sad. So hurt, and not only physically. Edward here said a while ago that you were _still_ sad. After all this time. Why don't you have a foster family by now, Bella? It's been so long..." he stopped, his tone gently questioning.

Bella shrugged. "Nothing ever felt...right. I'd stay at a place for a day and want to leave. I—I never belonged. Anywhere. And...all my other foster families...they didn't want me as much as I didn't want them."

"So what about the _Cullens,_ then?" Asked Jacob, anger evident in his voice. Whether it was because of the subject of Charlie Swan or the possibility that Bella might feel unwelcome in my family I wasn't sure of. Perhaps it was both.

Bella's face softened. "The Cullens...are...different." She didn't say anything else, even though I was morbidly curious to know more. _Did _she feel welcomed by my family? Trusted? Loved, even?

"But they're in Forks, Bella. All this crap happened right in Forks, ten years ago. Not that I'm not glad that you did, but why would you want to come back?"

Bella sighed, rubbing her now tired looking eyes. "I—I don't know. Maybe...I don't know, maybe I thought I _had_ to...to find all this stuff out, you know? Maybe...I don't really know. It's complicated, Jacob."

Jacob nodded. "Sure, sure. So are you staying, then? If the Cullens are so different?" He pressed.

Bella's mouth opened and closed, and she struggled to produce words.

"Bella will be making that decision when the time comes," I offered, hating to see Bella in utter discomfort.

"Of course," Billy spoke up. "We wouldn't imagine that Bella would have made that kind of decision so early on."

I nodded in agreement.

"It really is great to see you again, Bell," Jacob remarked. "I honestly didn't ever think I'd see you again."

Bella smiled a little. "Me neither, Jake. You really were...like, my best friend, I guess. And...I was sad to have to leave you. And you, Billy," she added, looking fondly towards the older man. "You two were really there for me...you helped in ways I could never--" she stopped, shaking her head. "Well, thank you," she concluded in a final voice.

Billy smiled. "Welcome back, Bella."

**Bella's P.O.V.**

* * *

The car ride home was smooth in Edward's silver Volvo. As we sped down the road—much too fast—I thought about what had just occurred.

Okay, so my father was out of jail. That wasn't exactly the best thing in the world. But Edward was right—Charlie wouldn't come. He would go back to jail if he came back to Forks. He had no chance of being near me again. And by the fiery look in Edward's eyes at the mention of Charlie's sentence being over, I didn't imagine my father could get past him. Or Emmett. _No one_ could get passed Emmett. The thought relaxed me a little. And I had learned that someone—_two people_—had cared about me for ten years, and I never knew it. Billy and Jacob. There had been times in the last decade that I'd forgotten about them, kept them locked behind a gate in my memory that I refused to open. I had forgotten how warm their very presence was. How nice it was just to be in the same room with the Blacks. They were definitely one part of my old life that I didn't want to forget about. It would take time, I knew, to have a normal relationship with them, with Jacob, especially. He was different, and yet still the same. I saw the fury that took over his facial expression every time my father's name was mentioned and the familiar light in his eyes as he spoke about having missed me over the decade. Seven years old or seventeen years old, Jacob was still Jacob.

"Edward?" I murmured as we pulled into the woods and descended down the forest path in the direction of the Cullen's house.

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

He smiled, puzzled. "For what?"

"For coming with me. I think I may have fainted right at the doorstep if it hadn't been for you," I admitted sheepishly.

He smiled crookedly, beautifully. "Of course I came with you, Bella. I wouldn't make you do something like that alone.

I nodded, deciding that I need not explain to him how much his presence meant to me. I had a feeling he already knew.

"Now, Bella, I have to warn you..." Edward began, "Alice _probably_ hasn't forgotten about the prior plans she had for today."

I groaned. "_Shopping?"_

Edward nodded, laughing. "Just when you thought the hardest part of the day was over.

* * *

Just as Edward had warned, I stood no chance against Alice from the second we entered the front door of the house. She slid past Edward, karate-chopping our hands apart and taking mine in her own instead. After shouting goodbye to Carlisle and Esme, she yanked me out the door again and practically forced me into her yellow Porsche with much more strength than I thought she had. I was lucky that I didn't stumble on the way. Edward was leaning out the front door, with an apologetic look on his face and waving.

I suppose I didn't mind very much to shop with Alice. She was really my first real friend in Forks—even though I hadn't accepted her right away. And if this made her happy, I was willing to oblige.

"Why isn't Rosalie coming?" I asked conversationally as Alice sped out of the forest and down the main road.

Alice sighed. "Rose...sort of felt bad. She told me she regretted snapping at you earlier today at breakfast...and she thought that maybe you'd be mad at her," she explained.

I knit my eyebrows. "But why? Why would I be mad at her?"

Alice shrugged. "She pressured you into something you didn't want to do. Going to the Black's house."

I shrugged, not seeing the harm. "Well, okay, _maybe_ I didn't want to go, but if I hadn't...Alice, I'm _glad_ Rosalie pressured me. It really helped me out, actually, seeing the Blacks."

Alice smiled. "That's great, Bella! I'm so glad you feel better about it. So...maybe you could tell Rosalie that."

I nodded. "I will."

* * *

I had been wrong. Shopping with Alice was much worse than I'd feared. She had flitted from store to store, using me as her human mule. She'd grab a piece of clothing off a rack and pile it into my arms until the stack was a mile high. Then, around the time when I thought my arms were going to fall off, she'd pull me into a dressing room and have me try on every single thing, forcing me to come out of the changing room so I could model it for her, so she could critique the clothes. All of it was designer and cost more than was seemed humane. But Alice didn't pay attention to the price. She simply brought up what fit me to the cashier and handed him a credit card.

And now, I sat in the backseat of the Porsche, buried under bags and bags of new clothes.

Alice pulled up into the empty garage and whirled out of the front seat and opened up the back door, grabbing several of the plastic bags full of clothing.

"I'm going to bring these up to your closet to organize everything by color," she announced. "Meet me up there when you can."

I nodded, though I wasn't exactly sure if she had seen it through the mountain of bags that still rested on my lap. Using every ounce of strength I had, I pushed all the bags off of me and onto the floor of the car. I stumbled out, almost running into the wall of the garage. Groaning in annoyance at my own clumsiness, I stomped up the garage steps and into the house, throwing my jacket off and forcing it on the next to the door. No one was in the kitchen, and judging by the fact that the garage was empty of cars, I assumed the rest of the family had gone off to run some errands. With a frustrated huff, feeling ridiculous and tired, I walked into the kitchen.

Then, a faint sound, almost an echo...

Someone was playing a piano.

I hadn't ever realized there was a piano in this house. It was so big...I hadn't exactly adventured through the entire building yet...

I followed the sound. The sweet harmony was growing louder as I walked through the foyer. I opened the French doors to reveal Edward, his back towards me, playing a sort of lullaby that seemed to be straight out of a fairytale.

I took slow, cautious steps towards the grand piano and very carefully slid on the bench next to Edward. He didn't seem startled by my sudden appearance, but he stopped playing and turned towards me.

My heart beat rapidly, angered by the abrupt silence. "Keep playing," I urged in a breathless voice.

Somewhat exasperated, he continued the song, and I sank back into my sanctuary.

If only Edward had told me he could play! Of course, I shouldn't have been surprised—I'd known since the day in the meadow that Edward was an extraordinary human being. But _this,_ the way his pale fingers seems to caress the black and white keys. The way his hands produced such a sound that filled me with elation that I had never experienced. The closeness of him, the way I could feel the heat radiating from his body. The way his hair fell into his eyes as he concentrated on the now progressing melody, the way his lips pursed as he focused.

The song ended after a while, the last melancholy note giving me goosebumps.

Edward turned to me with a sheepish smile. "So. How was shopping?" He asked conversationally.

I did a double take. "What—Edward! Forget the shopping! You—you played that! That was—Edward...that was..." I was lost for words.

He shrugged, being modest.

"What was that called?" I demanded, my head still full of the notes Edward had just played.

"It doesn't have a name," he told me. "I couldn't think of one that fit."

I shook my head in surprise. "_You_ wrote that?"

He nodded, sheepish yet again. "Yeah. I actually just finished it a while ago. I had to work on it when you weren't around—so mostly when you were upstairs in your room, upset," he paused, seeming to not like to mention the days I would spend after school, crying in my bedroom. "I hoped, that eventually...maybe it would provide some hope for you. I always knew that you needed it," he explained in a soft voice.

I was sick of crying. Therefore, I was disgusted with the tears that flooded my eyes, threatening to spill over.

I had enough composure left to mutter a few simple words, words that meant so much, more than Edward would ever realize. "Thank you."

He smiled. "I'm glad you liked it," he whispered, his green eyes very warm and gentle.

And then it was me and him. His face flooded my vision; it was all I could see. His heavy breathing was all I could hear. I reached out before I could stop myself and laid my hand on his cheek. And we were leaning in, very close. I could smell his scent—it was indescribable. And we were getting closer. His scent was intoxicating me and I couldn't breathe. I closed my eyes and let the moment wash over me as we grew closer and closer until--

"_WHO WANTS A HAPPY MEAL?!?!"_

Emmett had stormed into the house and judging by his loud footsteps, growing louder, he was headed towards the piano room. Edward and I quickly leaned away, our lips having been untouched. We had been _so close._ I really had wanted to kiss him.

Stupid Emmett.

Edward, his face looking defeated, groaned and took my hand, pulling me up from the piano bench. "Let's head to the kitchen, shall we? I'd hate for Emmett to accuse us of anything inappropriate _again._"

I laughed, remembering how he had made hints that Edward and I had shared a room during the night at breakfast.

"No, we wouldn't want that," I chuckled.

Edward put his arm around my waist and we walked to the kitchen.

It could wait. Besides, so much had happened today. I had already rushed through things that I had never imagined myself doing before. Talking to the Blacks, shopping...I decided that the kiss could wait. So until then, I would just enjoy McDonald's with my foster family.

**Review please!!!**


	13. Always There

Chapter Twelve

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything.**

"No, Emmett. You've had one cookie too many tonight. It's getting late. You all should head up to bed," Carlisle advised around one o'clock in the morning as Emmett reached for another cookie on the platter.

"Awww, but _Dad!_"

After dinner, we had all crowded in Emmet's room for movies and video games. Jasper had taught me the art and skill of shooting down purple monkeys in the Xbox game he and Emmett were daily engrossed in. Although I didn't see myself being able to withstand hours upon hours of eliminating computerized primates, I had to admit I wasn't bad—Emmett said so himself. Edward had cheered me on proudly as I gained more points with each monkey I got rid of, but I could tell he wasn't as into video games as his brothers. And I couldn't blame him. After having accidentally discovered his musical talents today, I couldn't imagine Edward ever wanting to waste his time with such adolescent pastimes. He had a talent—I shouldn't have been surprised, however. I'd known ever since the day in the meadow that he was extraordinary. Too perfect, even, to be human.

"No arguments, Em. At this rate, you six will never get to sleep. And you're already bouncing off walls Em—I don't need the other five doing the same."

Alice snorted. "Yeah, well, you know us Cullens. _Always _bouncing off walls."

I laughed. "Yeah, it's becoming a real problem these days."

Laughter filled the room, and Carlisle used that distraction as an opportunity to take the almost-clear platter of Esme's homemade cookies away from Emmett.

"Hey--hey--_hey!_" Emmett exclaimed. "I wasn't finished with those yet!"

"Bed," Carlisle said simply, exiting the room with a sly smile.

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Oh, Emmett..." she said with a joking sigh. "What am I going to do with you?"

Emmett's eyes glared at her suggestively, his eyebrows raised. "I could name a few things..."

Rosalie threw a nearby pillow at him. "Creep. Well, I'm exhausted, everyone. I think I'll be getting to bed."

Alice followed Rosalie off the enormous bed. "Me too. What about you, Bella?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

Alice narrowed her eyebrows doubtfully at the three boys. "I don't suppose you three will actually listen to Carlisle for once...?"

"Nope," they all said in unison. I couldn't help but giggle.

Alice rolled her eyes. "Well, goodnight!" She bent down to kiss Jasper on the cheek, who was still absorbed in the game. I just hugged Edward before I left, knowing I'd see him later in the night.

"I'll be there soon," he whispered to me, too quiet for a nosy brother to hear.

I followed Alice and Rosalie out of the room and down the hall. Alice's room came first, so she gave us each a swift peck on the cheek before closing her bedroom door behind her. Now it was just me and Rosalie. I realized this was the first time I'd ever been alone with her. And even more awkwardly, I was alone with her after our conversation this morning.

I knew all along that she had been trying to help, and in a big way, it had helped me. She had been tough—not sweet and gentle like everyone else had been. She had demanded that I go to the Black's, or else I would never forgive myself. She had been right. I knew it would have always been that thing in the back of my mind all of the time if I had blown it off. Rosalie had pushed me to take the harder, yet more sensible road down my recovery of my past.

But, Alice told me that Rosalie now felt bad about it. And that wasn't what I wanted.

"Hey, um—Rosalie?"

She looked at me...apprehensively? "Bella...I—about this morning—that wasn't my place— I--"

I shook my head. "No, it was okay. It sort of...well, it helped me do the right thing. I'm glad you...well—you know, did what you did." I tried to sound convincing.

She sighed and looked at her feet as we walked, her golden curls cascading across her cheeks. "No. I shouldn't have done it that way. I should have minded my own business."

We were almost to my room when something occurred to me. "Rosalie?" I asked hesitantly, wondering if I was walking too close to the edge of the cliff. "Is there a...a reason...that you...were so, uh, strong, about me seeing Billy and Jacob?"

Rosalie sighed. We had stopped walking because we had just reached my room. She leaned against the wall. "It's just that...well, you know what happened to my parents. My dad left, and my mom....I don't even _know_ what happened to her. Don't get me wrong, Bella, I love Esme, Carlisle and everyone else. But...sometimes I feel like Jasper's my only living link in the world. But in truth, he's not! My biological dad's still somewhere out there. And my mom...might be. Or not. She was sick, but she could've gotten better...I don't know. I guess...I just would have given _anything_ to find out more about my parents. Even though your father was a...a monster, Bella, you should still know. You don't have to do anything about it, of course, but at least now you_ know_."

I pondered that for a moment. "But I don't know a lot. My mom could still be out there, too. I have no idea where she is."

Rosalie nodded, understanding. "I know. I'm not saying you should find out _everything_ about your parents. Just...whatever you can. Because I know if I had the chance..." She trailed off, a faraway look in her eyes.

I smiled a little. "But you _do_ have the Cullens. They care about you just as much as any parent cares for their child."

She smiled back. "_That_ I know more than anything else." She paused. "You have them too, Bella. They care for you just as much as me, or Alice, or anyone."

I sighed. If only she could understand how much the truth of her words meant to me. "I know."

Rosalie put her hand on my shoulder. "Goodnight, Bella."

I smiled again. "'Night. See you tomorrow."

* * *

_**Edward's P.O.V.**_

"_Stupid monkey_!" Emmett yelled, throwing the game controller across the room, luckily missing the TV by an inch. "I'm done with this, Jazz. Let's just go to bed," he said dejectedly, switching the TV off.

I got up to proceed out the door until Jasper stopped me.

"Hold up a second," he said. "Ed, so, what's going on with you and Bella? Is she your girlfriend now or something?"

I shrugged. "Yeah," I said it as if it was obvious. Wasn't it by now?

Emmett scoffed. "It's creepy, man. She's supposed to be our _sister_."

I rolled my eyes. "Last time I checked, Em, Rose was supposed to be _your_ sister. Same goes for Jazz and Alice."

Emmett thought for a moment. "...Good point."

Jasper, too, rolled his eyes. "Okay, that's not really the issue at hand. Ed, you know, Bella has been through...a lot. I don't need to tell you that. I'm not saying she's not right for you or anything...but if you two were to like...break up or something...I think it would destroy her," he explained in a hesitant tone.

My first reaction was to be angry. Who was _Jasper_ to tell me what to do about Bella? We'd barley been "going out" a few weeks! But then I realized, by the look in Jasper's eyes, that the only reason he was lecturing me was out of concern for Bella. And I appreciated it.

I nodded in understanding. "I know, Jasper. But I can promise you--and you can hold me to this--that I'll never hurt her. She's been through enough pain. My only intention is to lessen it. And...and I love her. I don't think we'll really be breaking up any time soon. Or _ever,_ for that matter."

Jasper smiled. "All I needed to hear. You know I feel the same about Rose, Em, but it seems like she'll be okay. Somehow she can withstand how obnoxious you can act towards her," he teased.

"God help her," I added with a grin.

Emmett, letting the tease bounce off of him, thought for a moment. "You know, I like Bella too. She's really entertaining to have around. I mean, did you _see_ this morning at breakfast? She tripped over a _chair._ That takes a lot of skill, I tell ya!" He laughed, shaking his head. But then his face grew serious, which didn't happen very often. "But...she's been through like...crap, Eddie. And so help me if you _ever_ do anything to her it'll be the last thing you--"

"Okay! Em, I get it," I said, my hands raised defensively, because Emmett had slowly risen from his spot on the ground looking very intimidating. "'Night. See you guys tomorrow," I said as I walked out of the room and to my own room. After changing into some sweatpants and a t-shirt, I snuck across the hall to Bella's room, and opened it to find the lights off and her curled-up form in her bed. I slid in next to her, and she didn't stir. I smiled, realizing she must've been a lot more tired than she had let on. Gently resting an arm over her petite shoulders, I kissed her temple, allowing my lips to linger there for a moment.

"I'll never hurt you," I whispered to her, the darkness sealing my promise forever.

* * *

_**Bella's P.O.V.**_

**The next morning**

After a lively breakfast, everyone set off to do their daily weekend activities. Em and Rose went to work on the breaks of Edward's Volvo and Alice went shopping--luckily leaving me behind. Jasper and Edward set off to play catch in the backyard. Edward had politely invited me, which I just as politely rejected. It would be best for me to return to school on Monday without a black eye or a sprained ankle.

Thus I was left alone. Esme was somewhere in the house, perhaps in her and Carlisle's room. Carlisle had left for work right after breakfast.

The TV held little interest for me, as did my homework. I finally decided to wander about the house, realizing the only rooms I had actually been in were all of my foster sibling's bedrooms, the kitchen, living and dining rooms, and my own room. But the castle of the house surely held more rooms waiting to be discovered. Starting on the second floor, I opened double doors that led to a small library, books lining every wall. I walked in with amazement, trying to recall the last foster family of mine that owned a_ library_. I went to a random shelf and selected a book, finding it to be a medical book. At another bookshelf there was a complete set of Jane Austen books. I was still in awe as I exited the room and proceeded down the hall. I opened another door to reveal a large desk with many folders and papers stacked onto it, along with family pictures of Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, Edward and Esme. I assumed it to be Carlisle's study, and closed the door. As I discovered other rooms such as a mini exercise room with weights and a treadmill, and a room with desks and computers which I assumed to be a rarely-used study room, I came to another door which I opened. I blushed as it revealed Esme, who was sitting at a desk with a pencil in her hand.

"Oh—sorry," I mumbled, rushing to leave the room.

"Wait, Bella!" Esme called back, getting up from her seat and walking towards me. "You can come in, dear. I'm only finishing up on some work over hear. Come in!" She insisted. I hesitantly walked back in, realizing this was the first time I had ever been alone with my foster mom.

Esme sat back down at her desk, and gestured to me with her hand to sit in the chair in front of her desk. I sat down, taking a look around the room. Every corner had a big filing cabinet, and all of the counters were stacked up with big pieces of paper with what appeared to be sketches of floor plans.

Esme noticed my curiosity. "I'm an interior designer. I draw room designs to people all over the country along with furniture ideas, paint colors, window treatments, you name it," she explained.

I smiled. "Oh. So _that's_ why your house is so pretty," I remarked.

"_Our_ house, Bella," Esme corrected me with a smile. "You live here too, you know. And thank you."

My lips curved into a small smile.

After a short silence, she spoke again in a soft tone. "So what do you think, Bella? Do you like it here? I know it's hard, because of your past here in Forks, but how are you feeling now about everything?"

I thought for a moment. "It's not as bad anymore. Everyone's been so nice and supportive. Your kids, Esme, are really great, honestly," I explained. "Everyone's helped me through it. And the nightmares have stopped."

Esme eyebrows knit together. "You had nightmares?"

I nodded sheepishly. "I used to, when I first came here. But they're gone now," I told her. I didn't mention, however, that it was all thanks to her green eyed son.

Esme, her eyes full of sympathy, got up from her chair behind the desk and knelt down in front of me, her hands on the arms of my chair.

"Oh, Bella, you should have told me. Or Carlisle. We would have been happy to help..."

I smiled. "Really, I'm fine now. I haven't had one for a while. There's no need to worry," I explained reassuringly.

Esme smiled softly. "Bella, dear, is there anything else? Anything else that you want to tell me? I'm always here for you, honey, I want you to remember that."

Feeling my heart warm at her words, I proceeded to shake my head, but then I remembered the conversation that I had with Billy and Jacob yesterday. I nodded. "My dad's not in jail anymore."

Esme stared at me, thinking. "Well...that's alright. He'll never find you, Bella. We'll protect you, always."

I nodded again, this time feeling my eyes burn with tears. "I know. He's not allowed in Forks. Or anywhere near me. He's on parole."

Esme nodded encouragingly. "You see? You'll be alright. Your father will never hurt you, Bella. He'd have to go through all of us."

I smiled. "I think if he only saw Emmett he'd be scared away. I know I was, when I first met him," I joked.

Esme laughed, her laughter sounding like bells. "He really cares about you. I can tell. He's been Alice's protective big brother ever since he came here, and now that you're here, he's yours too. He loves you, just as every member of this household does."

To this, I did not know how to reply.

Esme smiled, patting my arm. "You know, Bella, soon after Carlisle and I got married, we had a daughter. A little baby girl, named Shannon. She was so beautiful...she had Carlisle's blond hair and blue eyes. Unfortunately...she became very ill when she was only a few weeks old, and passed away only a month after she was born."

Esme's eyes were dry as she spoke, though tears flooded from my own. I envisioned Shannon, sick and helpless, a tearful Esme and Carlisle watching over her.

"I'm so sorry..." I murmured, unable to think of anything else to say.

Esme continued. "I blamed myself for ages after that. I thought, very strongly, that there was something_ I_ had done wrong while I was pregnant. Though later, I found out I hadn't done anything wrong. But I would never be able to have children again. I wanted to die when I found this out, and be with my baby. I almost tried—I tried to jump off a cliff, but my husband pulled me aside just in time."

My heart stopped, and it was impossible for me to envision this. Esme, committing suicide? Impossible...

Esme, realizing my lips were too frozen to respond, continued with her story. "I never, ever wanted to have children after that. I never wanted to feel such pain again...but Carlisle wanted to adopt. For years, he couldn't convince me, but one day he brought me to an adoption agency and I was explained how the entire process worked. And I knew that these children, who were put up for adoption, felt pain very similar to mine. They had lost parents, in one way or another, and they needed someone to care for them, to love them. It was then I realized that I needed a child to care for and love, so we adopted Rosalie and Jasper. And it was the very best decision I've ever made. And the miracles continued with the adoptions of Alice, Edward, and Emmett." She paused. "You, too, Bella, have been another miracle to me. And whether you choose to stay here or not, you always will be my miracle."

Language seemed to fail me; it was as if I had never learned to speak. Without a moment's hesitation, I hugged my arms around Esme, resting my head to her shoulder. She gently wrapped her arms around my torso and held me tightly.

You would think that thirteen motherless years would have shied me away from Esme's affection. But I didn't. I embraced it.

**A/N: I've decided not to bore you guys with excuses for why I haven't updated in 5 months. Keywords: school, writer's block, life. I honestly don't even know why!! But now I am DETERMINED to update at least once a week to a week and a half from now on. I won't keep you guys waiting. I have some great ideas for this story and I can't wait to see what you guys think!! I hope you liked this one, I think Esme and Bella needed some mother/daughter time. I'm planning on writing more chapters in which Bella bonds with other members of her family, too. Thanks SOOOO much for sticking with this story!! Your reviews are everything to me. Please keep on reviewing!!**

**~Pupskt~**


	14. Where the Heart Is

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Bella's P.O.V.**

A snowy, frigid Monday in the beginning of February marked the one-month anniversary of my arrival to Forks. So much had happened, and I felt as if I had known the Cullens my entire life. I was as happy as I could remember being, yet still very haunted by both my past and my future. If this month had gone by so fast, what would become of the next five? I was sure that they, too, would fly right past me before I could reach out to stop them. The passing of one month meant less time to decide how to proceed with my life. Staying in Forks meant being with people who provided more hope for me in a month that I had provided for myself in seventeen years. Yet it meant the constant sense of déjà-vu, as if there was to be a reoccurrence of my childhood. I knew Charlie wouldn't come back...right?

I _could_ leave Forks. I could say goodbye to the school, to the rain, to Billy and Jacob, even. But the Cullens? What were the odds I'd ever speak to them again? Leaving them would mean taking them out of my life for good, the same as every one of my past foster families. But I hadn't cared as much about them as I did the Cullens....especially Edward. I would _never_ find another Edward.

So what should I give in to? Fear, or love? The pros and cons of the situation were at perfect equality.

I thought about this as I doodled squiggles and loops of mini tornados on my calculus homework. Edward and I were in his room, our school books scattered all over his massive bed. It wasn't very uplifting to have three hours worth of homework on a Monday. And at this rate, only Edward's was getting anywhere—my worksheet consisted of drawings.

I sighed, and Edward looked up at me, and then at my homework. He smiled at the little progress I had made. "Do you need help?" He asked.

If I had actually been doing my homework, I probably would have needed his help because Edward was a thousand times better than me when it came to math.

I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. Just...just not very motivated," I admitted dejectedly.

Edward scrunched his eyebrows. "Well you can take a break if you need to," he suggested.

I shook my head again, getting back into reality. "No, I really should get started, it's getting late..." And then I turned back to my calculus worksheet.

I could feel Edward staring at me as I started the first problem on the sheet. As I was finishing him, I looked back up at him and smiled a little at him. "What?"

He grinned. "If only I could know what was going on in that mind of yours...you're usually a lot easier to read than this."

I couldn't help but smile at his frustration. "You really wanna know? Numbers. Numbers, numbers and more numbers. That's what's going through my mind. I _hate_ calculus."

Edward chuckled. "I know you do. I'll help you. But you were thinking of something else before, I mean there's got to be a reason we've been sitting here for over an hour and you've accomplished one problem," he pointed out.

I sighed. "Just...thinking. Nothing important."

Edward looked at me, doubtful.

"Okay. Well...I mean I've been here for a month now," I reminded him in a quiet voice.

His face lit up in remembrance. "Oh, yeah! It's been exactly a month now, hasn't it?" He ran his fingers through his hair. "That sure went by fast."

I groaned. "I know."

He put down his books and crawled over closer to me, looking confused. "Bella, what is it?" He put his arm around me, calming me just a little.

I could go into detail, but I didn't have the strength, the courage, even, to poor out every single worry to Edward. It was best to just stick with the basics of my troubles.

"It's just...it's been a month. And it went by _so_ fast, Edward. And what if—what if the next five months go by too fast and I still haven't made a decision? What if it comes time for me to decide and I have _no idea _what I want to do? Edward...I'd _love_ to stay here with you and be happy but...." I trailed off, unable to meet his eyes.

Edward thought for a moment, and then finished my sentence for me. "You're still scared."

I nodded slowly, ashamed. "...Yes. Edward...I don't know what to do."

He rubbed my back soothingly. "Don't worry, Bella. You don't have to make any decision today, or tomorrow, or anytime soon. You can decide the night before the day of the decision comes if you really want to. You have nothing to be afraid of."

"Edward..." I murmured my heart beating much too fast. "I...I feel like I'm at home...with you. And everyone else, of course. But...in Forks...I don't. It probably doesn't make any sense but--"

Edward abruptly slid off the bed, walking over to his closet with a sudden urgency. "Hold that thought," he instructed me. I sat in my place on the bed, confused.

He disappeared into his closet, and I heard the clings and clangs of him rummaging around. He emerged after a few moments, a thin, rectangular black box in his hand. Edward sat back onto the bed and put it in my hands.

"Open it," he murmured, his eyes very soft.

Wondering why he chose this moment to give me a gift, I opened the box, which revealed a silver bracelet with a heart charm attached to it.

I looked up at him, now even more confused.

He laughed. "Read what it has engraved on it."

I carefully removed the heart bracelet from its box and read the tiny words inscripted on the heart charm aloud.

"_Home is where the heart is."_

I stared at it for a moment, and then back at Edward.

"I remember my mother used to say that all of the time," Edward told me, his eyes and voice suddenly distant. "She'd always tell me that when I grew up, and left her and dad...she told me that I'd better visit. She said that my heart would always be there, with them, and that I always would have a home with them. That's why my dad gave her this bracelet, because she loved that quote so much." Edward was now in a different time, a different place. His eyes stared out the window, as if his mother and father were being reflected upon it.

"My mom told me that when the time was right, I was to give it to somebody I loved, so they knew they would always have a home with me. Of course, she never did give it to me; I just inherited it after my parents died. But...I always knew I'd give it to someone who really needed it. Someone who needed to know that their heart was always safe with me." Edward smiled genuinely. "Bella..." He whispered, taking the bracelet out of my hands and clasped it around my wrist.

I held my wrist to my eyes as Elizabeth Masen's favorite quote enveloping my own heart in a warm hug.

"Edward..." I murmured, shaking my head back and forth. "I can't take this. It was your mom's..."

My heart squeezed tighter as he smiled beautifully. "She wouldn't have wanted me to give it to anyone but you, Isabella Swan. It's yours now."

A tear escaped my eye as I leaned over and threw my arms around his neck, nestling my head onto his shoulder.

"Thank you," I whispered.

I could almost feel Edward's wide grin, and he kissed the top of my head. "You're welcome, my love. Now how about that Calculus homework?"

* * *

_**The next day at school**_

**Bella's P.O.V.**

"Oh, Bella...hey."

I had been so distracted by the freezing cold water that ran out of the faucet in the dirty school bathroom that I hadn't noticed Angela next to me, washing her hands too. The more I thought about it, I seemed to be more distracted on this day than any other day recently. I had completely zoned out in biology, and if Edward hadn't come to my rescue every time by muttering the answer under his breath just loud enough for me to hear and recite to the class, I would have looked like an idiot. I didn't know why I was acting this way. Most of the time I didn't even think of anything in particular; of course, I did think, very much, of the silver charm bracelet that dangled from my wrist. The meaning of it, so very deep yet so complex. My heart _was_ with Edward, there was no question about it. But my home? Forks? I wasn't as sure.

I turned my attention back to Angela.

"Hi, Angela," I replied, turning off the water and pulling out a paper towel.

She let her fingers linger through the water for a few moments. "How've you been?" She finally asked, a bit awkwardly.

"Good," I told her, and it wasn't entirely a lie. "Busy. You know...homework, and everything."

She nodded in agreement, turning off the water and getting her own paper towel. "I know what you mean. I was up until past midnight trying to work on that stupid calculus homework. But I couldn't finish, it was way too hard. Did you get it done?"

I nodded. "Yes. But I had a little help—or a lot of help," I smiled a little, trying to ease the awkwardness.

Angela smiled back. "Yes, the Cullens are all very good at math. They've always been the best students here."

I nodded.

"So..." Angela began, looking extremely hesitant. "So how are...things? With you and the Cullens, I mean? Like...are you staying with them, or going? Do you know yet?"

I shrugged, trying to resist the urge to completely ignore her question. "I-I don't know yet. They're..._very_ nice. I just...don't know yet."

Angela took a step closer to me, her eyes looking pained. "Have you—er, Bella...have you told them yet? About...your dad? Because...I haven't told anyone, not a single person. But I think you really should--"

"I did tell them. A little while ago," I interrupted, not wanting her worry to be wasted on me.

Her face changed to disbelief. "So—so they know..._everything_?"

"Everything I could remember, yes."

She smiled warmly. "Good. I'm glad you told them...you can't keep a secret like that forever."

_You don't know the half of it_, I wanted to say. Instead, I just nodded feebly.

"What your dad did to you...all those years ago...was _awful_, Bella. Like, really, really bad. You didn't deserve that, you know that, right? I mean...I remember the day you told me you were leaving Forks...and you had that awful cut on your wrist from your dad."

I unconsciously grabbed my wrist.

"And then, all of a sudden, you came back to Forks. After everything that happened to you here, you came back. Honestly Bella, I don't know how you did it. I don't think I would be able to come back here after everything that's happened, even if it was years ago. You're very brave. And I just hope...I just hope Charlie never finds you again."

And, before I knew what hit me, she rushed across the bathroom and put her arms around me, hugging me tightly.

Normally I would have blushed at a gesture like this from someone I hardly knew, but I didn't. Nor did I hug her back. I merely stood there, letting her hug me, letting her sympathize over me. I didn't say anything until I let all of the fear that was rising inside of me simmer down. The words she had just said were all wrong, at least, most of them were. I wasn't brave at all.

Once the fear did lessen enough to bear, I hesitantly raised my arms and hugged Angela back, though not as tightly.

"Me, too, Angela. Me too."

* * *

_Two o'clock in the morning_

**Edward's P.O.V.**

The sounds coming through my air vents were only too familiar. I shot out of bed and stumbled through the darkness as quickly as I could and swung open my door. I carefully opened Bella's door, as not to scare her. I stepped inside the pitch black room, frowning. Bella hated the dark, she usually slept with the closet light on. The sky was too cloudy for the moon and starts to provide light either. I followed the sound of her sobs and quiet, muted screams into her pillow until I reached her bedside, switching on the small table lamp on the dresser. I sat next to her on her bed, picking her up and resting her on my lap. I whispered calming words to her, yet it was hard to calm her when I too, was panicking. She hadn't had nightmares like this for a while...

"Bella, love, shhh. Calm down. I'm right here," I soothed.

She continued to cry. I could feel her tears soaking through my t-shirt.

I rubbed small circles on her back for what seemed like ages, eventually until her shaking ceased and her sobs grew quiet.

"Bella," I murmured as she leaned away from me to wipe her tears off of her face. "What was it about? Your dream?"

She sighed. "I-I don't want to talk about it."

The dream had been about Charlie. The fear that contorted her face was the exact same fear that I saw as she explained her past to me in the woods.

"Bella..." I whispered, carefully wrapping my arms around her waist.

I could hear the sniffles on oncoming tears approaching. "Edward...Charlie...no matter what...I f-feel like he's always there—like...he--" She trailed off, her voice a scared whisper at the end.

I held her tightly to my chest, listening to her try to control her heavy breathing. My best hope was for her to fall asleep. This was a new concept for me—I was completely unsure of how to comfort Bella. I could tell her everything was going to be alright, that Charlie wouldn't ever find her. But she was far too stubborn for her own good. That, along with the fact that she had a childhood of fear to carry with her for the rest of her life. Moving past an insecurity would always be difficult for Bella, and I would never be able to fully comprehend how much pain she was in. If there was any way...anything at all I could do...

I looked at her—her brown eyes filled with moisture, her lips quivering. And even with her hair in one of its messier states she was still beautiful.

I loved her.

And then, without a single force in my way to cease me, I kissed her.

My lips met hers, obviously taking her by surprise. After all, why would I think to choose a moment like this to kiss her? That, I didn't know myself. The only thing I was aware of, in the moment, were her lips on mine, and the sudden hunger I felt to be closer to her. To hold her tightly, to never let her go. Her lips stoped quivering the moment we made contact, and she began to kiss me back, with as much vigour as I had begun the kiss with. The sweetness of Bella's lips drew me in, and I gently tangled my hand in her hair, closing my eyes and continuing to kiss her.

A year, a century, or a lifetime later, we broke apart. We both shocked, both out of breath, and both paler than normal.

Captivated in the odd concept that was our relationship, I stared into her brown orbs, vowing that I would never hope to stare into anything more magnificent. Her eyes, now dry, stared back into my own eyes, as if she was looking into the very depth of my soul. And then, before I could blink, Bella leaned forward and we kissed again, her lips soft and sweet like honey against mine.

After a few moments of splendor—all Charlie-related dreams forgotten—Bella's eyes grew tired.

"Sleep," I insisted, pushing Bella down gently and pulling the covers over her shoulders. She complied, smiling a little as she closed her eyes. I smiled, leaning down and kissing her unsuspecting lips gently, switching off the bedside lamp as I did so.

In the pitch black darkness, Bella eventually fell asleep. As I couldn't see her, I waited for her breathing to become slow and steady before I quietly got up from her bed, snuck into her closet and turned the light on just in case, and then slipped out of her room. I didn't want the perfectness of this night to be very abruptly ruined in the morning by Emmett.

Until my eyelids became too heavy to bear, I listened intently for any sound that might come out of my air vent. I was ready to fly out of bed at any given moment that Bella might need me.

But I fell asleep in a comfortable silence, dreaming only of my love.

* * *

**Emmett's** **P.O.V.**

_**The next morning**_

Rolling out of bed at five thirty in the morning, although incredibly early, had been a good idea. I knew that we were running low on Cocoa Puffs, and I couldn't trust Jasper in the kitchen when I wasn't looking, with nothing standing between the beautiful brown box of chocolaty goodness and his bowl and spoon. The cereal was MINE.

I tip-toed down the hall as quietly as I could, but could not escape the obnoxious creeks that sounded the hallway as I walked across the floor. If Alice had been with me, she would have kicked me in the shin for being so giant-like. Noise was inevitable when your feet were the size of Bigfoot's.

I turned the corner down the hallway which was dimly lit by the light of the sunrise. I passed Edward's door, and then Bella's. Bella's door, however, was wide open. Half expecting to see Edward in there, all comfortable like he had been over the weekend, I poked my head in, a devilish smile on my face. But, it was just Bella, curled up in a ball and sound asleep. She had kicked her covers to the floor at some point in the night, and her hair was somewhat of a tangled mess sprawled out all over her pillow. I had to admit, though, she was a cute girl. Not cute like Alice, who was always perky and lively, but the way she constantly tripped over everything (now that was just _hilarious_) and they way she put up with all of the crap I teased her about. Okay, so maybe she had been completely creepy and weird and quiet when she first came. But the moment I learned why she had acted that way changed my every opinion of Bella. She wasn't purposely trying to shut my family out—she just didn't know how else to function, especially living through such fear. Naturally, I strove to block every problem out with idiocy. I didn't mind it, and as long as my jokes and teases made other people happy, I was happy. But with Bella's past...idiocy wouldn't cover it.

If only I could get my hands on that Charlie Swan...he would never live to see the light of a new day again. He would wish that he had never laid a dirty hand of his on Bella; he would wish that he was anyone else but his disgusting self. The things I would do to make him pay for hurting Bella...it would be slow, and he would beg me to give him mercy, to make it all end for him for good—

But I would never encounter Charlie Swan, and for that he should consider himself _extremely _lucky. Besides, me wringing Charlie's neck was not what Bella needed from her family right now. She needed stability and hope. My family had a lot of that to offer, and now that she had begun to accept it we were on the right track. Bella's appearance in the car drives to and from school every day, at the breakfast table on weekends and in my room with everyone else playing a video game—it all seemed natural now. Bella was far from the awkward girl whom we all tried too hard to be nice to at first. She was family now. A daughter and a sister.

I snuck into her room, making as little noise as possible, and picked up her blankets. Draping them over her small form, I tucked them around her tightly after noticing she was shivering. Then, I carefully moved a strand of her hair from her face, leaning in and kissing her forehead gently.

"Love you, sis," I murmured, before heading downstairs and eating the remainder of the Cocoa Puffs. The warmth in my chest lasted throughout the day.

**A/N: Ok, so here we go! Even though it took a little longer then I expected, well at least it wasn't 3 months! I didn't get many reviews for my last chapter, so PLEASE just click the little box beneath this message and leave a comment. It takes 2 seconds! Tell me what you thought. For those of you who did read this and review, thanks! Your support and opinions mean everything to me!!! Next chapter coming soon, I promise.**


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